My head reeled. “Oh.” I squeaked, and considered his statement. “So, what, you had a tiff with daddy dearest, left Heaven and decided to rule Hell instead?”
“Something like that.” He smirked.
“You chose to leave Heaven and torture souls in Hell?”
He shook his head vehemently. “No. It was not my choice, not my decision. Father… Father cast me down, and gave me the same powers and restrictions as a demon, as a punishment for my… disobedience.”
“What did you do?” I was so curious, I was forgetting to be mad.
He gave me a sad, gentle smile. “I argued that humans should be allowed in to Heaven.”
“I don’t follow.” But I think I did, and Lucifer was right. This knowledge was changing everything I ‘knew’ about how the universe worked. Again, I mean. I hadn’t really believed in God and the Devil before I met my friends.
“God… he was utterly indifferent to humanity. It’s like he got bored with it. I noticed that human souls were aware of their existence in the void, and I begged him to allow them in to Heaven. He told me that some of them were evil doers, and that would spoil Heaven. I suggested he allow the good ones in.” Lucifer was gazing over my shoulder, focussed on the past. “He said ok, and that he could give the evildoers to Satan to torture. To keep him occupied, so that he would stop trying to take Heaven.”
“I… God gave souls to Satan to torture, just to distract him?” I was horrified.
Lucifer nodded gently. “Yep.”
“That’s… that’s awful.”
“That’s what I told God.” Lucifer said wryly. “I told him that was evil, that humans had the potential to learn how to be good, but that not all of them could manage that in seventy odd short years. He then proposed a Deal. Truly good souls would go straight to Heaven. Truly evil souls would go to Satan. Those that were somewhere in the middle, learning how to be good, would be the responsibility of a new King in Hell. He would punish them for their wrongs committed in that lifetime, and then send them back to earth for another life, until they learnt goodness and made it in to Heaven.” He sighed and looked to the ceiling. “I thought that sounded great.” He shrugged. “I agreed it was a good idea, and God gave me this cruel smile, and said, ‘best of luck then, Your Majesty. ’ And kicked me out, along with the angels who had supported me. We’re not allowed to let humanity know that God is not what they think he is. He enjoys their adoration, albeit not in quite such a…hands on… way as your friends there do.” His expression was slightly exasperated. I blushed, thinking about what he meant. Seth cleared his throat awkwardly.
I sat for a moment, deep in thought. “So why does Satan want me dead?”
Lucifer’s face hardened. “He resents that I was thrust into power above him in his own realm. We have a… hostile truce, I guess you could call it. But if he sees an opportunity to hurt me… Such as sending some of his Enforcer demons to torture and kill a dear of friend of mine while he ties us all up with pointless diplomatic garbage… He’ll take it.”
“But not Seth?” I glanced at Seth, and he looked away, embarrassed. I didn’t think Seth knew how to be that embarrassed. I thought the guy had no shame. Lucifer laughed one of his rare, musical laughs.
“Not Seth, no. Lucky for you, your best friend is the very definition of a horny devil. He complained so much about missing his date, I told him fine, miss the meeting and go play with your toy. If he hadn’t...” Lucifer took a deep breath, and looked pained for a moment. “If Seth hadn’t been topside, ‘getting his dick sucked’ I believe is how you put it, he would have been in that meeting with the rest of us, and none of would have heard you. At all. We wouldn’t have known until we found you in the intake.” He shuddered.
“Yeah ok calm down. We all know what I was doing, we don’t need to discuss it in detail.” Seth grumbled.
“I didn’t realise you were gay.” I said to him thoughtfully. “The way you speak to me, I thought you were into girls.”
He grinned. “I’m not sexist. I’m an equal opportunity lover.” I rolled my eyes at him. “Why? Were you sad, thinking you weren’t going to get some of this?” He stood, and stretched luxuriously, drawing attention to his still damp, clinging boxers. “You just have to say the word!”
“Put that thing away.” I scolded. “I wasn’t interested in it before, and I’m certainly not going to touch it now that I know exactly how much of a slut you are. Who knows where that thing has been.”
My friends roared with laughter, and Seth joined in after a moment.
“Is that why you keep me around? Honestly?” I asked when they had calmed down.
“What?” Sebastian was confused, and Seth looked at me gravely, but didn’t answer for me. I was suddenly very aware that I had no shirt on, only my bra, and hunched over, crossing my arms across my chest self-consciously.
“To fuck me?” I clarified in a small voice, my face red.
Sera answered. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Katie. None of us are trying to fuck you.”
“Hey! Speak for yourself!” Seth retorted. Sebastian punched him, almost absentmindedly.
Sera knelt in front of me, and held her hands out for mine. I took them cautiously. “Dear one, we spend time with you because we like you. You are our friend. All we want from you is your company and friendship in return. Even Seth. Although he would take the other thing, if you offered.” She said that last part wryly. I looked at each of my friends in turn. Sera studied me seriously, Sebastian smiled gently, Seth raised one eyebrow at me, and Lucifer… I couldn’t read his expression, but he nodded thoughtfully.
I nodded in return. “Ok, then.”
“We’d best get you home.” Lucifer said gently.
Seth interjected, “No. Not yet. That ah… that thing. My Lord.”
Lucifer sighed. “I don’t want to do that to her, Seth.”
Seth growled. Like a dog. “You promised.” He hissed. Sera, Sebastian and I all looked to Lucifer, waiting for his response. He rubbed his face, and put his head in his hands.
“You have to. Today… that can’t happen again, Lucifer.” Seth was adamant. My heart was pounding. What were they talking about? Was Seth going to get his arse kicked by Lucifer? It flitted briefly across my mind that watching those two fight would be pretty fucking sexy, but I quashed it quickly.
“What are you two talking about?” I tried to demand, but my voice shook.
Seth answered heatedly. “I am trying to get Lucifer to make you a Familiar.”
“I don’t want to make that choice for her.” Lucifer’s tone was starting to get heated too.
“She will die, Lucifer. And then it will be our job to torture her.” Seth snarled.
“Hey!” I interjected. “Who says I’m going to Hell?!”
Everyone
