The Reluctant Savior. Krystan

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The Reluctant Savior - Krystan

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scalpel please,” he asked, looking over at his scrub nurse.

      “Scalpel,” she repeated, placing the knife in his hand.

      With that, Dr. Martin carefully made his incision and reflected the scalp back to expose the area of the skull under which the bleeding had been found. Carmella had a front-row seat as she hovered over the table, taking in all that was happening to her. She gasped as the doctor reached for his air drill to make an initial hole in the skull. I can’t believe I am watching someone drilling into my skull! she exclaimed to herself. Oh my god, it’s just like a carpenter drilling into a piece of wood!

      Using an additional attachment, Dr. Martin cut through the skull and opened a flap of bone to reveal the brain beneath. Carmella gasped. I never even imagined what my brain would look like! she squealed, staring down at her exposed brain. I sure hope he knows what he’s doing! she added with a hint of hesitancy, even though she already “knew” that the operation would be a success. In some manner she had already perceived that it was not her time to “cross over” and that soon she would be returning to her body. She only hoped that she would remember her wonderful and amazing out-of-body experience once she dropped back to a lower frequency and re-entered her body. In the meantime, though, she watched as her doctor cut through the dura mater around her brain to reveal the bleeding area beneath it.

      Calling for various instruments and tools, Dr. Martin gradually removed a fairly large (at least to her!) blood clot from her brain, and then cauterized a couple of lingering bleeders that were still oozing small amounts of blood. When he was satisfied that he had removed everything, he placed an intracranial pressure monitor, closed the dura, and approximated the skull, using a titanium plate to hold the bone together. He finally sutured the scalp back together in layers, checked with the anesthesiologist regarding her vital signs and level of anesthesia, then told him to go ahead and “bring her back up.”

      Carmella knew that her experience in the “other world” would soon come to an end, as her body began to heal itself and it was time for her to return. In a way she wanted to go back, because after all she had seen, she felt there was so much she could do and say to the people there on Earth. In another sense, though, she felt totally at home here, and was overwhelmed with the total joy and love she experienced in that domain. She felt unrestricted in every sense, and totally free to express herself in whatever form she chose. There was no discord, strife, struggle, or any of the other sensations she commonly had felt in her earthly life. She had a sense of being totally supported, and a feeling of already having every possible thing that she could have ever wished for. It was just so harmonious and perfect. There was absolutely no feeling of judgment or disapproval of anything she had ever done, only an indescribable feeling of love and oneness with all of life. There was no separation from anything really. She still had a sense of herself, but at the same time, felt a part of everything and everyone, as if all were connected by this wonderful, loving, and accepting energy field that she struggled to articulate in her own mind. Carmella wondered if she would ever be able to communicate the richness and fullness of all she had experienced to any other person who could possibly understand. I certainly hope so, she thought as the nurse wheeled her into recovery. I certainly hope so!

      *****

      It was Monday morning at about 8:00 a.m. when Carmella realized that she was back in her body. The sun shining through the hospital window was reflecting into her eyes, causing her to squint and then open them for the first time since the accident. The room looked completely familiar to her because her “spiritual self” had been there for the past twenty-four hours, watching everything that was going on since she was transferred there from the neuro ICU. It felt very odd to be back in her old body again and back to her limited perceptual abilities. No longer could she be multiple places simultaneously. No longer could she feel what other people were feeling. The loving presence of the energy field that had surrounded her was still a vibrant memory, and if she tried hard enough, she still managed to feel its presence even now, although in a bit more limited fashion.

      Several things about Carmella’s life would never be the same, however. She no longer had any fear of death or concern with the future. She also felt very comfortable letting that force of love—“God,” or whatever she would choose to call it—express itself through her. She realized that her “job” here on Earth was much easier than she had previously thought. She only had to let the energy flow through her and keep her own ego in check. All her previous notions of God were pretty much shattered, and she realized that they all were just human caricatures of a force far greater in magnitude. She no longer had any compunction to follow any particular creed or religion. Doubt and worry had melted away, leaving her with far more energy than she was accustomed to feeling. She felt more creative than ever before in her life, as if she had now tapped into a power that would allow her small earthly being to bear far greater fruit. Most of all, she felt connected, and no longer separate from anything or anyone. There was a love in her heart for all of creation, and a realization that everything flowed together into a magnificently orchestrated concert, irrespective of what limited human perceptions were sensing. In a strange way, she was glad to be back, as her life had taken on new meaning and significance. She had realized her own spiritual nature and true magnificence in a way that she never could have before. She wanted everyone to understand what life was like “on the other side” so that their own pilgrimages on this planet would be transformed as hers had been. As a nurse, she knew that her role would bring hope and healing into the lives of her patients. It was time to wake up!

      Just as Carmella’s eyes were flickering open, Dr. Martin stopped by her room on his morning rounds. He was thrilled to notice her regaining consciousness and spoke quietly to her. “Welcome back, young lady. You had us pretty worried for the past several days! Do you know where you are or what happened to you?”

      Carmella thought for a minute before she replied. She really didn’t want to let on that she had been watching the entire event for the past several days. “Ummm…well, the last thing I remember was looking down at my watch and then looking up to see that back end of an eighteen-wheeler right in my face!” she smiled. “I swerved to avoid hitting him square on, but I guess I hit him anyway.”

      “Yes, you did a bang-up job on the right side of your head. We had to open your skull to relieve the pressure and evacuate the blood clots. Now you’ve got a nice titanium plate holding your skull together!”

      “And thanks to you, I’ve come back to life again,” she grinned, reaching out to touch his hand. “I really appreciate all that you’ve done for me.” I think I’ll have a little fun with him, Carmella thought to herself, and added with a twinkle in her eye, “I’m really sorry about delaying your fishing trip—I know you had wanted to get out of the hospital as early as possible on Friday.”

      “My fishing trip? How did you know about that?” Dr. Martin asked with a puzzled look on his face. Still trying to piece things together, he added, “You’ve been completely unconscious the entire time you’ve been here until now. I don’t see how you could have known about my trip!”

      “You would be quite surprised at what I know,” she laughed, with that same mysterious twinkle in her eye. “I am very grateful, though. You saved my life! Hope you caught some nice fish too!”

      Dr. Martin shook his head in disbelief. “Well, I’m certainly glad you’re back with us,” he conceded, as if he could think of nothing else to say. “I’ll have them send in some breakfast, and I’ll be back to check on you after my surgeries today.”

      “Thank you, Doctor,” Carmella smiled. “You gonna use that fancy drill of yours today? That thing is somethin’ else! Why, it goes through a skull faster than a knife through warm butter!” This is fun, she thought, as Dr. Martin’s jaw dropped about a foot.

      “Now I KNOW you couldn’t have known about that,”

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