Ma da nodded. ‘Aye, see whit you mean, Lama. But just keep yer mooth shut, wee yin.’
‘Aye, Da.’
A wumman opened the door.
‘We’re here tae see the baby,’ says ma da.
‘Oh, aye, come on in. She’s sleepin the noo. Ah’m Sharon’s mammy, she’s just gone oot tae the shops, she’ll be back soon. Sorry, son, ah don’t think ah know you, you’re …?’
‘Jimmy McKenna.’
She set aff doon the lobby wi us followin on behind. She paid nae heed tae the lamas, just kept chunterin on.
‘You’ll be a pal of Tommy’s, then? Ah’m lossin track of who everybody is. This place has been like Central Station all week, ah cannae believe the number of folk that have been tae see this wean. Ah’d forgotten whit it wis like when the first wan’s born. Aw the lassies fae Sharon’s work came roon yesterday – therteen of them there wis, you should of seen the presents they brung. That wean’ll get spoilt rotten. At least tae the next wan comes alang. Sharon’ll no know whit’s hit her then. She thinks this is hard work. Wait tae she’s had four or five – her man’ll no even bother tae visit her.’
She opened the door of the livin room and we trooped in. In the middle of the flair wis a Moses basket, draped in pink frilly covers.
‘Whit did they cry the wean?’ says ma da.
‘Olivia,’ says the wifie.
‘Olivia. At’s nice.’
‘Aye, it’s a nice enough name but ah don’t know how they couldnae have cried her efter sumbdy in the faimly. Still, young yins nooadays, dae things their ain way.’
‘How auld?’
‘Wan week the day.’
We all stared at the baby, well no at her exactly since you could only see a glimpse of skin between the frilly stuff and a wee white hat. Ah wondered when ma da was gonnae start his speil aboot the wean bein the new lama. He shuffled fae wan foot tae the ither, lookin at the lamas, who stood smilin at the wean in the cradle.
Then she opened her eyes and looked at us. Ah’ve never seen a newborn baby afore and ah thought they couldnae focus, yet this wee yin looked straight at us as if she knew everythin, could see right through you.
‘Bright as a wee button, in’t she?’ says the granny.
‘That wean has been here afore,’ ma da says solemnly.
At this, the wee lama pipes up. ‘Yes, he is the reincarnation of the twenty-ninth lama of the lineage of the Gyatso Luckche dynasty.’
The wifie nods at him. ‘Whit’s he on?’
‘It’s a bit complicated. You see, they’re lamas, fae Tibet. And wee Olivia, has been picked by them tae … well, she’s very special.’
‘You can say that again,’ says the granny. ‘She’s a beautiful wean, right enough, good as gold. Never cries.’
‘His nature is like the bright sun. One of the signs,’ says Ally.
‘But whit is it she’s been picked for? Sharon wis gonnae enter her for that Evenin Times Beautiful Baby competition, but ah don’t think the closin date’s tae next week.’
‘Well, no, it’s no exactly a beauty competition. It’s mair … spiritual beauty.’
‘Spiritual beauty?’ The wifie looked at the lamas, her eyes narrowin a bit.
‘His spirit is clear like running water,’ says Hammy, and the others nodded.
‘Haud on a minute. Whit’s gaun on here? Who are these guys?’
‘They’re lamas, holy men.’
‘Are yous anythin tae dae wi the Mormons?’
‘Perhaps, Jimmy, you could explain the lineage of this beautiful boy whose eyes are like stars which will light the world.’
Ah wis beginnin tae get fed up wi this stuff.
‘Perhaps, Da, you could explain tae the lamas that a wean in a cot wi pink frilly covers isnae a boy.’
‘Not a boy?’
‘Naw, Rinpoche, it’s a wee lassie, Olivia … ah thought you … surely it disnae make any difference?’
Ally shook his heid. ‘I’m very sorry, Jimmy, but the baby we are looking for is a boy.’ He turned tae the wifie and bowed. ‘We are very sorry but this baby is not the one. Please accept our blessing.’ He took his prayer beads and waved them above the wean’s heid, mutterin some stuff ah couldnae unnerstaund, then the lamas turnt roond and heided towards the door. At this point Olivia decided she’d had enough and let oot a roar.
‘Haud on, whit d’yous think you’re daein? You’ve made the wean greet, wavin they rosary beads in her face.’
She turnt tae ma da. ‘And as for you, ah don’t know whit the hell you’re up tae but it’s no funny. Tommy’ll kill you if he funds oot – he’s a good Protestant, so he is.’
‘Let’s get ooty here, Da.’ Ah startit tae push him up the lobby. ‘Sorry, Missus, he didnae mean any herm.’
* * *
Ma da wis awfy quiet on the way back in the van. Ah thought the lamas would be dead disappointed that the wean wisnae the new lama but they never seemed that bothered, went on wi their prayin as though nothin had happened. Ah wis startin tae unnerstaund how ma da had been that taken wi the lamas; there wis sumpn aboot them, they were that cheery and smiley that you couldnae help likin them. But wan thing bothered me.
‘Rinpoche, can ah ask you sumpn?’
Sammy paused in his prayin and turnt roond fae the fronty the van. ‘Of course.’
‘Know how thon wean wisnae the new lama – is that because yous had been tellt it definitely wis a boy this time, or does it have tae be a boy?’
‘The lama is always male.’
‘Is that no a bit sexist?’
‘Shoosh, hen,’ says ma da. ‘It’s different for them.’
‘How’s it different?’
‘You don’t unnerstaund.’
‘How am ah gonnae unnerstaund if ah don’t ask?’ Ah turnt back tae Sammy. ‘Ah mean, yous went harin aff lookin for him in Carmunnock. Yous were dead certain aboot it, but the minute yous fund oot the wean’s a lassie you’re oot the door. Suppose Olivia is the new lama?’
‘Only a male child can be the successor to the lineage. It is our tradition.’
‘That’s no a reason. That’s
