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Three hundred prominent scientists have assembled in a large hall. A bag is brought into the hall containing fifteen items. The scientists have no idea what these items are. The contents of the bag are emptied onto a table, and the scientists are given the task of arranging the objects by order of significance. There is an added twist: these objects have all been retrieved from a shipwreck. The scientists are given thirty minutes to complete the task. After this time has elapsed, a man from a law enforcement agency (this is clear from his physique, appearance and way of holding himself) comes into the hall and asks the scientists if they have completed their task. Needless to say, they have not: three hundred scientists could not come to a consensus in such a short space of time. To which the man says, ‘And you call yourself smart? You couldn’t deal with such an easy task as that!’
Can you see how the scientists’ sense of importance might suddenly take a dive?
But back to negotiation. Anyone who has worked in sales will probably have experienced the following situation more than once.
A buyer well-versed in negotiation methods takes a look at your proposal, tosses it to one side and asks: ‘So, what, you think you’re unique? You think I can’t get this anywhere else?’ As intended, these comments will start to make you feel that bit smaller.
In another example, a boss says to his subordinate: ‘What, you think you’re a star or something? That you’re the only one who can do this?’
Turning points like these almost always lead to one thing only: the person being addressed instantly slides a step or two (read: falls headlong) down their own scale of values.
A history exam at a university. The exam takes the form of an interview.
One student has paid the examiner a bribe of 1,000 roubles, the second 500 roubles, and the third nothing at all. The first student comes in for his exam. The examiner asks:
‘In what year did the Great Patriotic War start?’
‘1941.’
‘Good. A.’
The second student enters and is asked:
‘In what year did the Great Patriotic War start?’
‘1941.’
‘And when did it end?’
‘In 1945.’
‘Good. A.’
The third student enters and is asked:
‘In what year did the Great Patriotic War start?’
‘1941.’
‘And when did it end?’
‘In 1945.’
‘And how many people died?’
‘20 million.’
‘Now name them all!’
A colleague is ‘depreciated’
Maria is a driven young woman working in an in-house marketing and publicity team. She graduated from a top university and has five years’ experience at some major firms behind her. But whenever she speaks to her manager, a forty-five-year-old man who likes to throw his weight around, he always says things like: ‘Masha, dear, you probably don’t have the experience for such a complex assignment yet,’ or: ‘Your degree’s hardly going to cut it on an assignment like this.’ Maria, meanwhile, is running around like a headless chicken trying to prove herself to her manager.
Postulate 4: ‘roll out the red carpet’
Now you’re probably wondering why Maria simply does her manager’s bidding? Surely she knows a situation like this is unsustainable – how much should a person have to prove? That’s because after ‘depreciating’ Maria, her manager always rolls out the ‘red carpet’ for her. Now, I don’t mean a red carpet in the sense of a ceremonious greeting; view it as more of an appealing path to follow. Something along the lines of: ‘Fine, Masha, if you insist, I’m prepared to give you a shot at this while I consider it. Just make sure . . .’
When a ‘depreciation’ puts someone in a subordinate role, it is only natural for them to feel somewhat uncomfortable in that position – which means they will do anything they can to get out of it. This is when a tough professional negotiator – like Maria’s manager – will make use of the play we call ‘rolling out the red carpet’.
As it happens, this play actually has its roots in an old Chinese stratagem.
Show your enemy there is a road to life
Government troops have surrounded a band of thieves in the mountains. The thieves are many in number, and they are well armed and well stocked with provisions. Despite suffering great losses, the government troops haven’t been able to capture any of them. They turn to an old commander for advice.
The commander asks them about possible means of escape, and is assured that not even a mouse could get past the government troops. To this he replies: ‘Then of course they’ll fight until the bitter end. Since you have cut off their road to life, all that remains for them is to fight to the death. Show your enemy there is a road to life! Surreptitiously leave a passage unmanned in an inconspicuous spot. The thieves are many in number, and they are all different. Some of them will regret their choices; others may have been recruited by force. And some of them will simply be cowards. Once they see a way out, they will run through it one after the other. And then even your average postal worker will have no trouble rounding them up!’
That is what they did. Sure enough, the thieves were caught, brought to the capital and put to death.
A person who feels backed up against a wall has two options: they can either make a desperate attempt at resistance, or simply do nothing and let themselves be crushed. Similarly, a negotiator who feels backed up against a wall can choose one of three courses of action: they can either attack, escape or play dead.
Truth be told, none of these options lead to great results for either party. To make matters worse, what they do lead to is a sense of pressure or manipulation. This is where the play described above comes in handy. If you can show the person backed up against a wall a possible way out; if you can bring it out as an opportunity for ‘victory’ while saving face, then the outcome will change quite markedly. This is why it is always worth preparing two techniques prior to negotiations: one that will give you the upper hand, and another that will let your opponent lose while still saving face. Should the latter come to pass, when your opponent is backed up against a wall you need to know how to roll out the red carpet for them to walk down, wilfully choosing their own defeat. Only then will they be satisfied with the outcome of the negotiations.
For months a young man has
