has helped us understand where we are. We are fortunate that the people who made this book with him had the will, courage, and openness to share their lives with us, to show us their faces when they could, and be part of this record of our times.
PAUL GOERCKE, SAN FRANCISCO, CA, 2012
MESSMAN/STAFF OFFICER, U.S. MERCHANT MARINES, 1944–1945
World War II Veteran. Served in Okinawa, Ie-Shima Island, Hawaii, and Saipan
I was born October 27, 1926, four days from Halloween! I did not follow patterns of everybody else in terms of maturing and the usual things of childhood. I became pianist of the church when I was ten. I wrote arrangements and picked up evangelistic-style playing. There was no evidence about gay life; nobody ever talked about it in the family, which was very typical. We were very “churched” and we read the Bible, so we must have come across Deuteronomy and other places that take up this subject.
When I became eighteen I would’ve been drafted, so I chose the Merchant Marines. During the war, we landed the Marines in the Ie-Shima invasion [off the coast of Okinawa], it was a magnificent sight of flares and planes, and all in the air, and some in flames. It was a horrible thing, fireworks in real life rather than something seen on July the Fourth. I don’t understand why the captain didn’t bring a chaplain; with 1,500 guys, you’re bound to have at least one chaplain there, if not a dozen or so. Anyway, I knew I was attracted to guys in a way, but I didn’t put the dots together and figure it out.
All during the time in the service, I was on two troopships; they were both Liberty ships, and one of them was the James King, and on that one, we went from San Francisco up to Humboldt County and picked up a load of lumber. This was now 1945. In April, we were back in Okinawa, but this time not fighting a battle; the war was just about over. We ended up in Tokyo Bay three weeks after the signing of the surrender. We went up to Hokkaido and dropped all the lumber off there so [the Japanese] could rebuild. Then we came back to Tokyo Bay, and during that time I courted with GI Gospel Hour. I was twenty-two when I was out of the service.
I went back to Japan in ’49 and worked there three years with ex-GIs. It was during that time that I was getting involved in various things because of all those GIs! I played for the Youth for Christ for all of Asia. They had a truck to travel on. We held rallies in big auditoriums and these mass outdoor rallies, because so many Japanese lived outside. All the places were so bombed. But the thing that was so shocking was there were these two couples; they were Baptist missionaries. One of the wives played the piano, and I played the organ, a Hammond organ of all things. Anyway, I was moving on, looking at this and that, and I discovered that in the Emperor’s Palace area, there was this national park. And there was a men’s room. I went in there once or twice to look around, and all these GIs were in there carrying on! And the two male missionaries were there! Now it’s a fusion of sex and religion! You had to realize that the Roman Catholics are loaded with gays, especially the ones that go off into these retreats and live on the sands or something.
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NATHANAEL BODON, MARLBORO, NY, 2009
SPECIALIST E–4, U.S. ARMY RESERVE, 2007–2009
Motor Transport Operator. Honorable discharge under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
I joined the military September 11, 2007, went to Iraq in July 2009, and just returned after being “chaptered out” by the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. My goal for joining the military was my future. When I first went in, I went back into the closet because I was terrified. I had heard horror stories about hazing and people getting killed. I got to my unit in February of ’08 and we were put on alert in June. I left for training for deployment, so it was about a year that I was drilling before I actually went on orders. My unit was stationed in Baghdad, but they tasked me out at Al Asad Airbase. My job description was container and TMR [Transportation Movement Release] manager, so I took care of packaging all construction materials and sending them out everywhere. I was responsible for $12 million worth of equipment. That was my job and I was doing it really well. I had my own office; I had my own truck.
In October, I started hearing from one of my friends who was in Baghdad, “Watch what you’re putting online.” So I started doing a little digging. It turns out that on my blog I had put my address [in Iraq] and a list of creature comforts that people could send in care packages. My unit name was in the address and I found out that if you Google the unit, 445th Transportation Company, then my blog would pop up. It was the fourth entry. Right after I found out that information, I get an email from my platoon sergeant and she said that the commander wanted me back in Baghdad as soon as possible. I was in the dark about a week before he finally let me know that someone turned in my blog because there are pictures of me kissing my boyfriend. Then he let me know that I’d be getting chaptered out. He said he was going to try to get me a general discharge and that I could challenge it later and try to get it switched to honorable. I wasn’t going to sign anything unless it said honorable on it. It’s the soldier’s responsibility to prove that they are not gay. What does that entail? How do you prove your sexuality? In order to fight the discharge, I’d have to prove that I’m not gay.
It hurt that somebody screwed me over to that extent. I kept digging for information, and the signs kept pointing back to my home unit. When I left for the deployment I became really close to all those guys. They all said they had my back. One of them lied to me and betrayed me. That’s really why it’s important for me to know. Just for my own personal peace of mind I’d like to find out, but I don’t know if I’ll ever find out. Through this experience, I’ve become a stronger person; I’ve become a better person; I’ve matured a lot. It put me in a place where I wasn’t before. I was able to get my life together and take some direction in life. Do I regret it? Would I have done it differently? No. Because you know what? There is nothing wrong with who I am. And for me to want to do something differently or hide who I am would mean that I am ashamed of who I am—and I’m not. And it would mean that I’m admitting that I did something wrong—and there’s nothing wrong. I have the same rights as other people.
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BRUCE SIMPSON, WILKES BARRE, PA, 2009
SEAMAN, U.S. NAVAL RESERVE, 1970–1971
SERGEANT E–4, U.S. AIR FORCE, 1971–1974
Base Police Desk Sergeant, Airborne Strike Team. Honorable discharge, admission of homosexuality
I knew at six years old that I liked boys and that never changed one bit. I never suffered what many guys do, not being able to accept themselves or wanting to be converted. I just knew from an early age that this is the way I was born, this is what I was meant to be—for whatever the greater purpose is—and I’m fine with it. Personally I think it’s a natural birth control method for the human race to prevent overpopulation on the planet.
All of my friends were burning their draft cards and smoking pot. I was going the opposite way; I wanted to get into the military. It was a way of getting away from home, of becoming an adult. I wanted the training and I also wanted to serve my country. I was a patriotic kid for some reason. I joined the Naval Reserve at seventeen, and in my senior year in high school, I was in boot camp at Great Lakes, Illinois. Came back to finish high school, and that summer I did a two-week training cruise and determined that the Navy was not for me. I was discharged honorably on the condition of enlisting immediately in the Air Force; I had a friend
