be possible to achieve, and sometimes you won’t quite make it. However, it is worth the effort…one day at a time.
It is wise to consciously identify and communicate what counts as “quality” for you overall and at specific times. Your view of it may change as your circumstances and your body’s response to the disease and treatments change. Your definition of “quality” may also be very different from that of your family, friends, medical staff, or spiritual leaders, so it is important that they know your definition. Sometimes others may have to make decisions on your behalf that affect the quality of your life, and your input is vital to guide them.
Quality usually includes living your life as fully as possible while maintaining balance and health for you and your support team. However, it can also include doing specific actions or simply doing whatever you would normally do if cancer or treatments were not present. Consider that the quality of your life is potentially just as important, if not more so, than the quantity of time you have left to live. One of the interesting outcomes of creating quality is that it may also extend your life. You become more focused on living happily than on prognosis statistics that are unlikely to be an exact match for you.
To maximize your quality of life, consider integrating both the fact-based and spirit-guided aspects in responding to cancer and healing. Using them together will increase your empowerment with making effective choices.
Personal Perspectives
Craig: My oncologist and I agreed throughout my treatment and recovery that quality of life was vital. As I considered all the worst possible outcomes, I came to the conclusion that my passing away would not be the worst. For me, it would be most difficult living for months or even years in a severely impaired state with a terrible quality of life. However, I noticed that how I defined “quality” changed as my condition changed. Even when I was impaired physically and mentally, if I could maintain contact with family and friends and find enjoyable or useful activities, I was okay. What I noticed, as well, was that no matter what happened physically, I could still pray, and that was a key quality indicator for me.
It was a continual adventure trying to maintain the quality of my physical life. I evaluated treatment options, choosing some. At times, I declined ones that would interfere too much with life. Surgeries often seemed to occur as emergencies, and I wish I had done a better job of having discussions with the surgeon ahead of time about their possible impact on the quality of my functioning. Managing medications and supplements was another area of constant adjustment and at times experimentation, as I worked with my doctors and caregivers to maximize health and reduce symptoms from the treatments and spread of the tumor.
I enhanced the quality of my mental and emotional life with the support of family, friends, and many other resources. I requested that sick friends not visit, but I didn’t isolate myself, as I believed enjoying the visitors enhanced my immune system strength. I was confident that the happiness I felt from having visitors was very healing. As I began in-home hospice care, I included music and art therapy to enhance the quality of my time and help me process the emotions of that stage. At that point, quality for me became days when there was more to be grateful for than to complain about!
The quality of my spiritual life expanded and grew throughout the whole journey, as I increased the amount of prayer, meditation, and visualization I did. I continually adjusted my participation in spiritual activities, but stayed involved throughout.
Susanne: My goal throughout my husband’s cancer journey was to identify and facilitate whatever enhanced his quality of life. This meant such actions as: encouraging and coordinating visits, messages, and phone calls from family and friends; supporting him working and staying in touch with coworkers; taking him places outside of our home; adjusting our home environment for comfort, safety, and to support well-being; picking up library materials; cooking nutritious and favorite foods; and learning to do my husband’s usual tasks well enough that he would no longer worry about them getting done.
It became clear to me along the way that it was important to my husband’s happiness that I also take care of myself and maintain quality of life for me as well. The medical establishment focuses on the patient and not much on the well-being of the caretaker, so it was up to me to make good choices. Caring friends and relatives regularly reminded me that I could best help my husband if I took care of myself. This empowered me to take naps, rest, exercise, and eat well.
I attended my own support group, listened to relaxation recordings, prayed, received regular massages, and took respite days while a friend stayed in our home. I facilitated spiritual groups in our home, and I also made time to enjoy occasional meals out with close friends. I requested family and friends to keep our home supplied with beautiful flowers to uplift my spirits, and they did so. I did grieving work with the help of others as each loss or change occurred. Through all these efforts, I stayed in much better shape physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually than I ever dreamed was possible.
Practice in Action
Ask yourself regularly whether you are making choices that enhance your quality of life, and step into action to change direction as needed.
Beneficial Character Strengths
Enthusiasm is expressing genuine positive and joyful feelings, often in a high-spirited way, about an occasion, activity, important occurrence, goal, person, or extraordinary situation.
Flexibility is adjusting to life as it happens and embracing changes as needed, while remaining true to one’s core values, beliefs, and appropriate priorities.
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