said he could catch him easy-peasy.
But the thief had a time machine that he had stolen from the t.v. show, so Niall phoned the police and said, “There’s a thief, and he is out and about.”
But the policeman said, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you because I just got early retirement.”
So Sam and Niall phoned up the army. Sam said to the army man, “Shoot his time machine because the thief is using it to cheat on the National Lottery by remembering the winning numbers and going back in time to buy his tickets.”
So the army man shot the time machine and it exploded, and the thief ran away.
Sam said to Niall, “I’ll use the magic wand to give us a safety dog to keep the thief away.”
And Niall said, “Why didn’t I think of that earlier? I wish I could think clever thoughts like what you do.”
Sam said, “It’s no wonder you’re so silly, you should go to school. Where have you been?”
“I had a date with your girlfriend. And we went to the cinema to see TinTin.” said Niall.
“Oh, I’m really jealous.” said Sam. They were going to have a fight but a giant robot came along, tripped over an ice-cream van and fell into the sea.
Sam forgot about punching Niall on his nose, and they both went to look at the beach where the giant had fallen over.
Niall got to the beach first, but Sam shouted, “Don’t go on the beach, the robot has made it bad, and it will swallow you up.”
Niall shouted back, “No.”
Sam shouted, “Why?”
Niall said, “Because I can run faster than you, so the beach will swallow you up instead.”
Sam could feel some of his super-powers coming back to him, so he waved his magic wand one more time, and said, “Magic, magic: turn the busted robot into a monster truck.”
Sam jumped into the monster truck and let Niall get in too. And they both zoomed back to the zoo before the tide came in.
Niall said, “I’m sorry for taking your girlfriend to the cinema.”
Sam said, “That’s alright, she was a minger anyway, and she ate all my popcorn”
“Let’s put her in the zoo.” said Niall.
“Good idea,” said Sam.
But when they got back to the zoo, the thief came and stole the monster truck and then drove away to China with Sam’s girlfriend.
“Byeeee” said Niall and Sam.
And they all lived happily ever after.
T’was a Night Like Any Other by Blair
T'was a night like any other
Two thousand years ago,
There wasn't any Santa,
Nor reindeer, elves or snow.
The people weren't excited
Nor expecting any gifts.
They went to bed quite early
Except those on night shifts.
They were men like any other,
The lowest of the low,
Who stood upon the hilltop
With the city down below.
Another night of watching sheep
For barely any pay,
Nothing to look forward to,
T'was just another day.
One shepherd there had wife and kids,
That he couldn't clothe or feed,
He was a fine example
Of a family man in need.
The widowed shepherd was alone,
He felt he couldn't cope.
He was a fine example
Of a man who hadn't hope.
This old man was bitter;
He'd had a rough childhood.
He was a fine example
Of a man who knew no good
The youngest shepherd was a thief,
Who stole to stay alive.
He wouldn't do it if he'd had
Enough food to survive
They all felt unimportant,
Criminal and poor,
In those days shepherds just like them
Were treated like manure.
T'was a night like any other,
Until that piercing light!
That lit up half the countryside
And filled the men with fright!
“Have no fear, I bring good news!”
They heard the angel say,
“The Saviour of the human race
Has come to town today!”
“You'll find him in a stable,
Lying in a trough,
Beside the goats and donkeys,
Wrapped up in swaddling cloth!”
“Glory to God in the Highest!
Peace on Earth to men!
The King of kings, the Son of God
Is here in Bethlehem!”
Then just as quickly as they'd come
The angels disappeared.
The shepherds gawked dumbfounded,
Thinking,
