which could lead us in completely new directions. Before we know it, we will wonder how we ever could have said we were “bored.”
Today, I look for ways to become
curious about my recovery.
Having institution commitments is a godsend, especially when I've been feeling a little down.
~Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 122
March 17
And living and letting live contributes a great deal to sanity. ~Father John Doe
In order to live and let live, we have to get past surviving. “Surviving” is a desperate place where no energy is left for enrichment and self-nourishment. “Living” is when we finally learn to be good to ourselves, and truly enjoy what life on planet Earth has to offer. “Letting live” is the ability to allow others to nourish themselves without our direction. What a concept! Letting others make their own decisions without our direction. This is a form of true love; the unconditional type that so many of us strive to obtain. Until recovery, most of us never learned to really live life; we were only interested in surviving. Learning to live was the beginning stages of recovery. When we finally learn to let live, we truly begin to incorporate what our spiritual path is all about—love and service to others.
When I live and let live,
I teach myself to love.
Now, in recovery, we must begin to take care of ourselves if we are to survive, sober, and to grow. The program provides us with the tools and the support necessary to enable us to become ‘real people.’
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 92
March 18
The question is, how far down the rabbit hole do you want to go? ~What the Bleep do we Know?
Going down the rabbit hole is a metaphor for losing control. At one time, that loss of control meant being on psychedelics or drunk out of our minds. Today, our rabbit holes are character defects. When we lose our temper, are perpetually late, shamelessly criticize, or quick to condemn, we are falling down a rabbit hole. We know we are falling, but knowing is not enough. Even thinking we won’t fall again is not enough. If having the right thoughts were enough, we wouldn’t need C.D.A. Few of us had a shortage of good thoughts when it came to controlling the use of drugs. And yet, when that craving hit, our minds cleverly found a handy excuse to use “just one more time.” Then, down the rabbit hole we went. Ultimately, we see that our very best thoughts can’t save us. Instead, we find it is only our very best actions that will keep us out of the rabbit hole. Recovery has little to do with thinking or theories; it is our actions that count.
I don’t think myself into right action.
I act myself into right thinking.
I started to build a pathway of program action, and that opened up the world for me.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 255
March 19
When the student is ready, the master appears. ~Buddhist Proverb
Coming out of our drug fog makes it very hard to hear the message. Initially, we only half listen, and use few of the suggestions. This can be due to a variety of reasons ranging from confusion, prideful thinking, fear, or feeling overwhelmed. Some of us have thoughts that even doing half of a Step would be a mighty tall order. Some of us are concerned about opening old wounds, and sharing them with another person. However, once we are finally ready to move forward, doors begin to open. Suddenly we find teachers everywhere. Every meeting we attend seems to speak directly to us, each page we read in our book addresses our particular situation, and our sponsor is magically “right on” in everything he or she tells us. We know we are ready when we are “in the zone” of recovery and everything flows—when nothing flows, we simply are not yet ready.
If I’m not ready to learn, C.D.A. members can’t
say anything right. If I’m ready to learn,
they can’t say anything wrong.
Look the person in the mirror right in the eye. Is the readiness there - all the willingness that can be mustered?
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 61
March 20
The people who gather are a tribe not of blood, but of spirit, for all are born into it. We are bound together by our desire to live in peace, to be in the cathedral of nature, and to heal ourselves through union with the earthly mother and heavenly father. ~Rainbow Gathering Flyer
In C.D.A. we are truly a tribe, not of blood, but of spirit. Upon finding the Fellowship, it isn't “me” and “you” anymore is it? It’s “we” and “us.” Twelve-step groups say that this is a “we” program, not a “me” program—and that means we are a family. Just look at our Steps, they all say “We admitted” or “We came to believe.” Doing it together makes us stronger and less likely to fool ourselves with dysfunctional ways of thinking. Many people say, “Our mind is a dangerous neighborhood to be in alone.” But, together we can become the “neighborhood block watch!” So, don't let your mind get the better of you. Turn that “m” in “me” upside down (just as we are asked to turn it over), and make a “we” out of that “me.”
I may not have it all together, BUT
together WE have it all!
But even as our diversity makes us unique, our addiction makes us all one and the same. The emphasis, in C.D.A., is placed on this common ground.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 16
March 21
We tried to carry the message—for it is in giving that we receive. ~Father John Doe
When we “carry the message,” we are giving back what was so freely given to us. This is one of the main tenets and purposes for the Fellowship. This important principle is covered in Step Twelve and Tradition Five. But, notice in Step Twelve that it is written “tried to carry,” not “carried” the message! Trying to carry our message is all we ever need do, because it is not within our power to get anyone drunk or to keep them sober. Yet trying is not confined to 12-step calls and sponsoring new members. In C.D.A., “carrying the message” includes living clean and sober, keeping meetings open, voting in our home group, and living a meritorious life. So, it is not just a matter of carrying the message, but rather, it is a matter of living the message! Then, by living the message, we become the message.
Sometimes I carry the message.
Sometimes I am the message.
Newcomers and sponsees are put in our paths for many reasons, some of which we never know. The Step says only that we try to carry the message. The outcomes of these encounters are always left to God.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 83
