in Aribian, which only Ghandy and a few rebels from the Akilian sector spoke, flew from his mouth.
The expletives were accompanied by the occasional chunk of Terinian bird sandwich from lunch, which he would later wipe from his chin with his prestigious red sash, but for now he was too busy laying a tirade on the two agents unmatched since, well, since his outburst before lunch.
The first agent stood forward and slowly, shyly, spoke. “But sir, we did recover The Beacon.”
“Oh you did? Why that’s tremendous!” Ghandy replied, elated while temporarily forgetting he was in the middle of a tirade, but he quickly regained his composure and barked back.
“Why didn’t you say this in your Akorflagin report to the board?”
“We did,” the agent answered.
“Frugin Stallin! It’s not important,” the president muttered, "you should have told us. We don’t have time for this.” Pausing to look slowly first to his left, then punctuating it by looking even slower to his right in the direction of the rest of the board, adding one more deliberate nod of the head just so he could feel assured he had made it especially clear that the very, very important people were them and absolutely no one else. Adding, just in case any of this had escaped the attention of the agents, “We’re the Galaxy Board for Taro Ackben’s sake! Unacceptable incompetence on your Wracto-rickit parts,” he hollered, his forehead passing nine inches and as of yet showing no intention of stopping.
Picking a piece of half chewed Terinian sandwich from his cool smooth metallic cheek apologetically, the second agent began to give his response.
“Actually sir, its in the first section under-- " the agent began before the massive president interrupted.
“Enough! Job well done. Next!” he shouted to the constantly nervous intern on his right, and the next unfortunate soul was brought before the board. The agents meanwhile were quickly ushered out.
The two agents, graduates of the Hiruahian Space Academy, rapidly boarded their craft and pulled onto the Milanian SuperSpaceWay to begin their flight back to Hiruaha. They had already returned The Beacon of Light to atop the Pole of Promise when immediately returning from Earth.
According to Agent 4352, despite having discarded each body of the two human policemen on that trip from Earth, the smell of the human form still lingered.
“Humans! Always with the smell of feet!” he complained.
Based on their limited experience with humans, those of the Milan Galaxy hold only one conviction about them, that they smell awful and much like feet.
This criticism could appear a little harsh considering the lack of experience the entire Etan society had in dealing with humans, yet Agent 1 concurred all the same and the two agents fell back into a numbing silence for the rest of the trip.
_________
The reason Etans detest human scent to such a large degree is mostly due to their species’ specific set of preferences, and from their smelling circuitry being so remarkably well developed as a result.
Etans are known for having one of the strongest senses of smell in the universe. Their powerful sense of smell, as is commonly the case in biological evolution, was born from continued circumstance over an extended period of time.
Not long after the Etans creation, they were forced to share Hiruaha with the fire breathing Tyron Fluid Dragons. A creature that took flight primarily when their main food supply, the Etans, slept. With a Tyron Dragon being nearly a football field long, with a wingspan twice as large, and a tongue capable of engulfing an Etan like a frog does a fly, this certainly wreaked havoc on the Etans for a considerable amount of time.
The one survival advantage the Etans had in avoiding the Dragons was that the oil the Dragon produced within its mouth emitted a seriously pungent odor. The Dragon used this oil in combination with its ability to create fire up its throat to fry the Etan’s parts.
The Dragons had been lovers of the taste of fried Etan ever since they first experienced it. Incidentally, this had happened after the great volcano blast of many moons previous. It figures not to be much of a taste, that of a fried metallic substance, but does go to show there is not much accounting for the taste of dragons.
So why did the Etans need a great smelling ability if the odor of the Dragons was so pungent?
It was long held to be true among Etans that if the scent of the Dragon’s oil was so powerful as to wake them, a Dragon was so close it could eat them. So it was best to be going and fast. So for a dragon’s scent to be strong enough to wake an Etan while still being far enough away that the Etan could escape, then that Etan’s smelling circuitry must be one of the very best.
Over time this had the effect of weeding out the Etans with lesser smelling abilities from the population, and left only the Etans with the most developed smelling to reproduce. Thus producing more Etans with highly advanced smelling capabilities.
The Etans later becoming self-aware and intelligent enough to create new circuitry for themselves also became a factor in their smell evolution. This gave them the ability to increase their sense of smell individually over time, speeding up the powers of evolution that needless to say, don’t appreciate being rushed.
This is believed to be how the Etans great sense of smell came to be, and why they are so revolted by human scent, especially that of feet: evolution and ingenuity.
The history behind the Etans sense of smell was quite a remarkable one, yet this was of very small consolation to the agents as they now flushed the socks of the policemen out the space portal. The same portal that they had used to flush the policemen’s bodies on the journey up.
Chapter Ten
It was a deep self-serving mull. One that could have been the source of any number of the storm fronts in the area that weekend.
Frank has always believed that there is a big difference between mulling and brooding. Although, the fact he views himself as a person who mulls rather than broods, may factor heavily into his perspective on the issue. Nevertheless, to him mulling is to think about an issue carefully, to ponder, and is a generally positive attribute and activity. An intelligent, well-rounded, and balanced person is bound to mull from time to time, or even regularly as he does. Mulling is a vessel of learning, and a chance for personal growth.
On the other hand, Frank views brooding as an act of negativity, of regression, of dwelling upon negative experiences in one’s past or possible future that are over and done with, or out of one’s control to begin with. And doing so in a way that is neither productive nor healthy. A balanced person does not spend much time in their week brooding, unless they are one of those snotty nosed teenage boys who intentionally act broodingly to appear deep and complex in hopes of attracting attention from the opposite sex. And in the end, how many well-rounded or balanced teenage boys does anyone know?
Thus, Frank has never been one to spend much time brooding, at least not on purpose. He does not claim to be well rounded or balanced; however, he likes to think he often bumps up against the border of being intelligent. Yet to obtain that status, Frank feels he needs to mull. Ultimately, there is some considerable grey area blurring the border between brooding and mulling, but nevertheless, in Frank’s mind he was clearly mulling this early Saturday afternoon, and certainly not brooding.
Still, even Frank would have to admit that
