during the hours that feel as if they last twice as long as any other, when he dangerously neared rumination as he mulled. He had returned to his apartment full of self-pity because no one had believed his story. Since leaving Laura’s, he had stopped and told his story surrounding the two missing policemen to three strangers who he passed on his way.
In the spirit of the whole truth and nothing but the truth, he hadn’t as much passed them as he had been sitting beside them on the subway. Even more, he hadn’t actually been sitting with them during the entire tale, having needed to pursue them through various compartments of the train to finish his story.
Regardless, their reactions to his story had been much worse than Laura’s, and had not helped to improve his mood in the least.
Now, as Frank was flipping one card after another through his hands, they shook. After filing through a few more shaking plastic covered baseball cards, he found the ones he was searching for, the ones that had always been the best in calming him down during times when he felt panicked. Frank read the back of these cards, reading information about a few of his favorite players.
This time, however, when he finished he felt just as nerved up and uncomfortable as when he began.
Why were the now missing policemen in his apartment the night before? Why would they want a simple rock? Why did the rock glow? Was it really just a rock?
He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands together for a while, then finally put the cards away.
Clearly it had been a bad dream and a coincidence combined. It hadn’t actually happened, and thus he would have a calm, relaxing afternoon. Maybe he would even check out the park.
Frank got dressed to go out, but then noticed the rain hadn’t let up quite yet. So, he would stay in. He could still have a calm afternoon, he thought.
After vacuuming the carpet, eating lunch, doing the dishes, his laundry, organizing his apartment, vacuuming again, then thinking about doing his taxes early, he decided his questions must be answered, or least he must try to find some answers that fit. But how?
Frank found himself needing tea with Laura once again. But that would have to wait.
_________
Upon returning to Hiruaha, Agent 4352 and Agent 1 were greeted like returning heroes. They were treated like this for a simple reason. They were heroes who had, well, returned.
As for the hero part they had brought back The Beacon of Light, reuniting it with their home world, and more importantly The Beacon’s home world.
Indeed, times were grand to be one of these two Etans. Consequently, this made the life of any other Etan on the planet very depressing, especially those of the young Etans.
“Why can’t you be more like Etan 4352?” mothers all over Hiruaha were saying to their children. Everywhere an Etan went on Hiruaha they couldn’t help but hear things that resembled “now 1 and 4352, those are two fine Etans” or “yes, good on them, good on them indeed!” It was enough to drive a completely balanced Etan right out of their sanity circuit boards.
By now you must have a couple questions about our friend the Etan. Along the lines of what is an Etan? How did they come to be on Hiruaha? And how did they become what they currently are?
First, an Etan is a robot that came to fruition through a combination of evolution and sexual reproduction, a fact that surely has spawned a few more questions. Such as, how is it that a robot can have children?
Well, it was not always easy for them, but when The Great Creator left the original Etans on Hiruaha, they were few in number and soon longed for the company of other Etans.
Many attempts to fashion fellow Etans in their own image from spare parts of dishwashers and motorbikes followed and failed miserably. The resulting ‘children’ more closely resembled moving car washes than offspring.
Instead of attempting this pursuit in the same manner once more, the Etans fashioned genitalia and other reproductive organs needed for them to reproduce. Interestingly enough by using the same parts as before.
After a few failed rounds that contained nasty electronic viruses, they re-tooled their reproductive applications and the first Etan children were conceived.
The word conceived might be a particularly loose one here, as in reality it was closer to a microwave oven than a womb where the children were being conceived. Also they were purely mechanical much like their parents, yet conceived sexually they were.
In fact it is quite likely that the word sexually is being used most loosely here, because crudely put, the act consisted of the injection of data and electricity from the male’s outlet to the female’s.
Although this might not sound crude, witnessing the transaction would surely change your mind. It is said to be so unpleasant and unbecoming that it would destroy the optical circuitry boards of even the strongest nerved Etan, which is why they always close their optical portals when involved in any sexual behavior. Occasionally this loss of sight can have its pitfalls during sex as well, but in the end, at least with the Etans, it proves to be the lesser of two evils.
Next, regarding how did Etans come to be on Hiruaha in the first place? As much as the Etans wanted to resolve this issue for the sake of their own curiosity, they also felt a need to answer their children’s questions of “where did we come from?”
Faced with such an overwhelming question, the Etans, just as the Frogolinians did later on, spent a considerable amount of time contemplating the most appropriate answer. In the end, the consensus was that it was the result of two single acts by a powerful creator thousands of moons ago.
It is said that one with great wisdom and mechanical engineering foresight had designed the entire planet, including its inhabitants, before moving on.
Where to? No one knows. Who was it? No one knows, however, his imprint on Hiruaha was left with each Etan then, and with each Frogolinian years later. This all-powerful creator would be referred to only as “The Great Creator” from then on, and the surrounding stories of him would match his accomplishment in grandeur.
Lastly, how is it that a robot can evolve?
Well, it’s much like any type of biological evolution. Initially, through adapting to environmental factors and later by intellectual growth. That’s the short and sweet answer for evolution, something that takes millions of years to perfect. As for the long answer and example, we are living proof.
_________
The local law enforcement of Truth were busy filing the appropriate paperwork on the missing agents, Tim Kitchner and Bob Henon, just as the bodies of the two policemen were being incinerated by the third sun, of the second planet, of the eighteenth solar system, of the Kitton quadrant in the Jutius Galaxy. Followed shortly thereafter by their socks.
Meanwhile Frank had a different approach to locating the two policemen than filing paperwork. He figured that by finding out what they were doing in his apartment, he could consequently find the two men. Therefore he was down at the local rock museum; Truth being one of the few towns dull enough in Oregon to have a rock museum.
Walking into the museum, his eyes intently scanning the surroundings with his mission in mind, Frank felt as if he was a detective in one of the mystery novels he’d spent a great deal of his life reading.
Dare
