divine love and acceptance. As I walked back toward the entry, I experienced the lush beauty and grace of this lavender-lined, divine pathway. I wrote “Beauty…Grace…Lavender…Service” and felt myself “light-up.” Recognition birthed at some level…
I am now home integrating these energies and getting a deeper understanding of what these insights truly mean. I sense the truth in the statement, “Ignorance is bliss.” Once you experience something at a higher level and your awareness is piqued, you can’t go back to the “bliss of ignorance.” It’s impossible. Though the vow I made wasn’t really necessary, it seems to have created a “non-resistant” bond between myself and my divine Essence. This is something I truly desire.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Labyrinth #4: United Methodist Church – Davis, CA
This morning I visited the labyrinth located on the grounds of the UMC in Davis. It was an interesting experience to say the least. There were 4 to 6 “volunteers” moving materials into one of the church buildings. One came up to me and asked if she could be of assistance. I shared what I was doing and she inquired whether I knew of the other labyrinths in Davis – like the labyrinth at St. Martin’s? (Interestingly enough, she is a member of the congregation at St. Martin’s and was just helping out at the UMC.) I shared about the lavender labyrinth outside of Mt. Shasta and she told me about a new labyrinth in Auburn on the grounds of The Mercy Center. (I will be going there sometime this week!) She then left me alone to have my experience.
As soon as I began my “ritual” to enter the labyrinth, a couple of other volunteers decided to pull up chairs and have a conversation. I found it “attention-grabbing” that the topic of the conversation was gay marriage and gays/lesbians in general. “Resembling” the topic, I found it difficult not to listen. Evidently, the brand new minister (This Sunday is her introduction!) “resembles” the topic as well. It was apparent that one of the conversation’s participants was working hard to make a connection between the “ungodliness” of lesbianism and God. His belief systems were being challenged. He even mentioned that as far as he knew, there was nowhere in the Bible that states that this type of relationship is ok. By now, I had reached the center of the labyrinth and was gifted with the following “drop-in:” God is Love….Love the Lord God with all Thy Might…Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. These are the things to remember. The rest is “story.”
As I made my rounds through the petals, I refocused myself and took notice that the labyrinth was bright blue today with gold trimming. It was shimmering in the sunlight. Clarity seemed to be its foundation. I spent some extra time in the 4th petal – Abundance. What does Abundance mean to me? I know many believe Abundance is all about money but this doesn’t seem to be the “core” meaning. For me, Abundance includes: bliss, happiness, giggles, joy. It means that I have everything I need in that moment (which would include money!). As I explored it more deeply, it became clear that Abundance occurs spontaneously when I am in alignment with the true me – my divine Essence. In fact, the only time I feel completely in balance and without worry is when I am in alignment. It is in these moments, I have everything I need. When I feel safe and allow myself to align with the truth of who I am, it’s like a channel opens and I’m walking in a surreal reality. I come “alive” in those moments in a way that isn’t normal for me and I know that something “special” is occurring…I am in alignment.
By now, the conversation near the labyrinth had subsided and I knew the gift the new pastor for the UMC - Davis was bringing the congregation. The blessing of an expanded understanding of God and Love had arrived. I wished them all the best on their journey together.
When I left the labyrinth, I found a quiet spot on the backside of the church and wrote a few notes on my experience. Though part of me found the rather loud conversation while I was walking the labyrinth a little disconcerting, I recognized the gift in the conversation. I contemplated different levels of Service – all well and good. There is the Service of volunteers assisting the church and there is the Service of a divine Essence(s) holding space in honor and recognition of the journey of another Essence. I could sense the Essences of the conversationalists holding space for me while I walked the labyrinth. Though the humans didn’t seem to notice, their Essences did. I could feel it. This is always true. If we take the time to pay attention….and still ourselves…we can sense the divine Essence of another in each and every moment – no matter the circumstances. This is where the truthful “conversation” takes place – in the wordless connection within the circle of sacred life.
There is peace today. Up to this point, I have been somewhat anxious or uncomfortable as the truthful energy of personally powerful insights rumbled though me. I look forward to tomorrow but will enjoy this day. It has been a blessing.
The Divinity in me bows to the Divinity in you…
Friday, July 01, 2011
Labyrinth #5: Grace Cathedral – San Francisco, CA
I just have to say, I AM POOPED! Though this has been an incredible journey, my body can’t take much more of this rumbling, rippling and rocking! Today, I drove over the Bay Bridge and into San Francisco to visit the super-fantastic Grace Cathedral. If you ever have the opportunity, it’s a must-see and a must-experience. The Cathedral has two Chartres-sized labyrinths – one inside the main entrance of the church and one outside in a front “patio” area.
The Cathedral is gargantuan with several vestibules. I could hear “ministers” leading prayers at different times in various parts of the church. The stained glass windows are incredibly beautiful and engraved with messages and stories. My favorite is a clandestine meeting between St. Francis and Claire. I decided to walk the labyrinth inside the Cathedral. My timing was excellent as I was able to experience the walk without much interruption.
As per most of my walks, I opened the labyrinth, set my intent and began the path. I could hear the Lord’s Prayer being recited by a small group in one of the vestibules. In my mind, Forgiveness was already beginning to percolate. “Doubt” and “Trust” were coming up big as I moved along the path. I heard myself asking for Forgiveness for all my anger, doubt and lack of trust in what I know to be true. I concentrated on what I felt regarding the labyrinth itself. Immediately, I saw and felt “gold.” The pathway turned to a deep plush crimson carpet lined with gold. In my mind’s eye, I kept seeing a crown and the path felt like the walkway to a coronation.
When I reached the center, I spent time in each petal as per my ritualistic routine. Faith… Surrender…Service…Abundance…Forgiveness… I spent quite awhile in the fifth petal before moving on. I heard, “Are you ready to forgive yourself, Karrie?” I could feel the depth at which the question entered me. (The tears are coming now as I’m writing.) I now realize that part of me was “shocked” by the question. The question was like an arrow from the Universe which upon impact instantaneously planted a more truthful perspective which woke part of me up like a bucket of ice water! At some deeper level I caught the true meaning underlying the question. I was the one that held the key to freedom. I was the one who held the key to the dungeon door – the dungeon of punishment, wrath and merciless judgment. And I was the one who held the gift of Forgiveness. Though I understood this concept at a “head” level, it was evident that I hadn’t truly known it in the core of my being until this moment. I recognized a part of “me” had been harboring some outdated dogma and had essentially brainwashed “me” into believing I was unworthy and undeserving - like I had “missed the mark” and was a disgrace. But in this one infinitesimal moment, I felt this “data” disintegrate…..“Are you ready to forgive yourself, Karrie?” Wow… I knew this experience had affected me deeply and I probably wouldn’t understand the full ramifications until later.
I moved through the final petal quickly and sat down in the center of the labyrinth (LOVE). I took a couple
