were no help. They didn’t know any available women to set me up with. What’s a guy to do?
In October, 2009, one sleepy, rainy Saturday afternoon, after watching Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn together in a screwball romantic comedy movie on television, I decided to join the millions of others who had found love online. Sitting on my sofa, I took a sip of my Coke and opened up my laptop and clicked on Match.com. It looked simple enough. To me, online dating was the new 21st century “bar scene.” I had heard stories of others who met their significant other this way, and I decided to give it a shot. I perused the photos of the thousands of women online who were looking for relationships. It dawned on me how lonely people were. Both men and women. With all the social networking communication tools we have today like iPhones, Facebook, Twitter, iPads, etc., people still have a difficult time meeting one another and connecting.
At least I was doing something. It made me feel hopeful. When I found a lady online that I was interested in, I’d email her and we’d talk on the phone. The next step was meeting them in person for coffee, lunch or dinner. Starbucks was always a good choice because if I didn’t hit it off with her, I could leave after my cup of coffee was empty. Generally, when I met the woman in person, I found her to be much different than the person she projected over the phone. Perhaps it’s because people can create an illusion on the phone, and in person, that illusion is shattered. You’re exposed. All physical and personality imperfections are on display. Most of the women I met were nice, but I wasn’t attracted to any of them. Not one. I like all women and can find beauty in all of them, but the women I met on Match.com simply didn’t interest me. There wasn’t any chemistry between us. And it was discouraging.
Perhaps I was too cautious with the online dating game. I’m not sure. I wasn’t exactly a novice when it came to relationships though. I was married for 19 years and in that marriage, I had a lovely daughter, who is now 21 years old and in college. When my marriage ended, I was devastated. It took me several years to get over it and it took a long time to heal my heart. I was “over” the relationship logically, but my heart wasn’t over it. The heart and mind battled each other constantly.
Mind: “David, you know she has changed and is not the same person. It’s best for you to be divorced. Life goes on and everything always works out for the best. You need to move on with your life. You deserve someone who will love you with all her heart.”
Heart: “But, I loved her and she was my best friend. I loved being married and I loved that my daughter had both of her parents at home. I don’t like to give up on things. And, she was my first love and I miss being married sharing our lives together.”
Mind: “Shape up, David. Get over it. Time to move on!”
I then got married a second time, but it was way too soon after my divorce. I don’t regret that marriage, but honestly, it was terrible. I believe that every experience in life is a valuable experience though – no matter how bad it may seem – and even the “bad” second marriage was a valuable one. I learned so much about myself and became a stronger, more confident, better person.
My two failed marriages helped me grow up and know myself better. When I went to Match.com to find romance and companionship, I went with the right attitude. I didn’t need anyone out of desperation; I simply wanted to share my life with someone. I believe life is more enjoyable if we can share it with someone. It makes the everyday, mundane things special. Adventurous, even. I was an average guy looking for a little more adventure in my life.
I have always done my best to find adventure wherever I could. I have raced cars in my past and currently, I scuba dive, and travel extensively. I’ve been to Russia and China – both amazing places that opened my world to different cultures and lifestyles. I’m not a sophisticated guy, but I am educated and open to new possibilities everywhere. After all, I do believe that anything is possible and that you never know what’s going to happen around the corner.
Little did I know that life was about to get very interesting….
Chapter Two
Single Man, Interrupted
I came home from work on an April evening in 2010 and took a shower. As usual. Somehow, showering after work made me feel as though I was cleansing the “dullness” of the day off me and that I could now start afresh in the evening. There was an exciting world on television just waiting for me to plug in.
After the shower, I put on shorts and one of my Houston Texans t-shirts and pattered barefoot into the kitchen to prepare dinner. I looked in my freezer and reviewed the stack of TV dinners. Which one should I have tonight? I thought. Did it really matter? They all tasted pretty good. I chose a Stouffer’s turkey dinner, opened it and placed it in the microwave. After 5 minutes, I took it out and went into the living room. I put my dinner on a TV tray and clicked on the TV to watch ESPN and lose myself in the world sports.
The phone rang midway through the turkey and mashed potatoes. It was Bob, a single friend of mine in his early 50s. We often discussed the problems of finding a desirable woman to date. He said,
“David, I’ve been looking online and exploring dating sites, and I believe I have just the
thing for you and me.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, taking a sip of my ice water to wash down the food.
“I know how we can meet beautiful women and maybe even find someone to date.”
“What are you talking about?” I said. “I’m already on Match.com.”
“Yea, I know, but I think this could be perfect for us.”
“I haven’t had much success on Match.com,” I replied. “I’ve met a lot of nice women,
but I haven’t had any chemistry with any of them.”
“I know. I know,” Bob said. “How do beautiful Latin American women sound to you?”
“I’m listening,” I said. Fact is, I have always loved Latinos. I think they’re beautiful people in general and when Bob said that, it piqued my interest. However, at the time, I wasn’t looking for a life partner. Not really. I was contented and happy. I honestly didn’t need anyone to fulfill my life. However, I knew that it would be nice – a big bonus in life – if I met someone I could share my life with. A partner. A lover. A best friend. But, those things only happen in fairytales like that of Britain’s Prince William and Catherine Middleton. Ordinary folks don’t get that kind of life story. Do they?
“I’m talking about international romance tours,” Bob said. “Do you know anything about them?”
“As a matter of fact, yes, but only a little bit,” I said. “I’ve done a lot of research on the Internet.”
“This one is Allure Romance, they are the largest international introduction tour company, with an excellent reputation. Research it and then call me back. I think we should try this.”
“Sure,” I said, wondering if this was just another dead end for romance. I wasn’t against looking for women internationally, but I knew how hard it was to meet someone you really connected with.
American’s culture on meeting women is difficult. It’s common for most single folks to go to nightclubs, meet someone through a friend, or church, or online. (I’m not a partier, so that eliminates the nightclubs and most of my friends are married). These have so far been
