the situation, or in this case, we cannot change the diagnosis, but we have control over how we respond!
Breast cancer is certainly no laughing matter. In fact, I have chosen the lighter side not in any way, shape or form because I do not take breast cancer seriously, but quite the contrary. I have chosen to look at the lighter side because it IS so serious. This whole journey has forced me to reflect upon my life – past, present and future, and it puts a whole new spin on the idea that sometimes the only sense we can make out of life is a sense of humor.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 42, I was a professional clown, a motivational speaker and workshop presenter, and I had recently started my own company. I also worked as a trainer at a large university with over 18 years of training experience. In many of my presentations, I help people understand the value of a positive attitude and how we can use humor to deflect some of the most difficult situations. When I was diagnosed, I knew that it was time to put my own words into action and look at how I was personally going to deal with the situation. I may have been a trained clown, but I know that you don’t need to be a clown – or even have a great sense of humor – to take positive steps, sometimes very small steps, that make a significant difference in how you respond to life and those around you. In this particular case, I further discovered that your recovery and quality of life can, in a large part, be determined by how you CHOOSE to embrace the situation.
Since I do a lot of presentations, I always say that everything in my life is simply speech material. I pull from personal experiences to make my presentations stronger. Prior to my diagnosis, I certainly felt that I had ample material from which to draw. However, God had another plan. In later chapters, I discuss how I have come to a better understanding of this “wrinkle on the road”, and again realize that for everything in life there is a reason.
In dealing with my own breast cancer, I learned that there CAN be a Lighter Side to Breast Cancer Recovery, and it can be an important coping tool that lifts your spirits, builds your body, and keeps you going in even the toughest of times.
This book is not intended to be a technical reference manual to breast cancer, there are a lot of good books that serve this purpose, many of which I note in the Reference Section. Instead, this book is designed to be a story of one woman’s journey (mine), and a look at one method to cope and recover from what can be a devastating diagnosis. Although there are a few technical parts, the story as a whole is intended to be more of a celebration of life, and to offer a very real addition to recovery.
I wrote this book to share the many lessons that I learned with other women who may be recovering from breast cancer, but many of the lessons can also be applied to surviving other challenges in life. It is also my hope that not only can the individual affected be lifted by this information, but also her or his family members and friends.
There are some parts of this book that are a little graphic in nature and may be offensive to some. This is certainly not the intention, but in telling this story, I felt it necessary to offer a more thorough description of events as they transpired. I would like to thank all of the special people who read this material as it was growing into a real book. I hope with more than one set of eyes, we were able to correct the most blatant of grammar and spelling errors. In the event we missed any, I do apologize to you as the reader.
Throughout this book, I have included sections relating to “questions to ask” and positive thoughts and words. You may or may not find this information helpful, but I have tried to look for the brighter side in everything that was happening in my life. Sometimes it was very easy to see this side, especially when I looked through my own “Recovery Folder”, and other times I had to try a little harder to see the lighter and brighter side.
In a later chapter, I spend a lot of time describing my Humor Team and the valuable role they played in my recovery. One of my team members reminded me early on that, “I was no longer in control of my life, but life was controlling me. I was being told where to go, when to go and what was going to happen when I got there.” I reflected on her words for a while and was reminded of the saying I use so many times with my family, friends and in workshops I present, “You cannot change other people, you can only change how you respond to other people”. I realized that this was the same situation but with different terms. I knew first of all, and most importantly, that I have choices!!! If I chose to follow the most effective path to recovery I would have to lose some of my stubborn independence and rely on others. I could not change what was happening; I could only change how I responded to the situation.
Throughout it all, the greatest lesson I have learned is that there is great healing power in love and laughter. From my own personal relationship with God, to the many small celebrations of life, to the valuable lessons my own Humor Team taught me during a difficult time - I am forever grateful and very thankful!!!
It is my most heartfelt desire that by sharing this story and embracing the ideas in this book, your life, or the lives of those you love will somehow be more positive. Whether it is breast cancer recovery, or any other challenge you face in your life, I pray you will indeed be better equipped and able to find the Lighter Side of Recovery. Wishing you many blessings! Now, on with the story…
Lesson One - Don’t put off your yearly exams. Use your birthday as a good reminder, and if you can’t remember your own birthday, check that birth certificate and write it down. There are times when we have to be a little forceful in asking for an appointment, but be persistent and MAKE THE CALL – SCHEDULE THE APPOINTMENTS!!!
During the month of October, for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, many areas offer special programs, including free mammograms. If this is a concern of yours, please check with your healthcare providers for additional information.
Breast cancer is not strictly a “woman’s disease”. According to the 2010 statistics from the American Cancer Society, nearly 2,000 new cases of breast cancer were diagnosed in American men, compared to 207,000 cases of invasive breast cancer in American women.
Chapter One
Beginning the Journey
“The world is full of suffering. It is also full of the overcoming of it.” — Helen Keller
My personal journey started on September 14, 2001. Personally, I won’t call it a battle, more of a journey, or going down a path of unknown destination, but you must use your own terminology for comfort.
Actually, it had started a few months before when I noticed my once perky nipple decided it wanted to turn into an “inny”. I noticed an indentation that seemed to be getting deeper as the weeks went on. I was adamant about getting the recommended female exams every year around my birthday (this seemed to be the least painful and less taxing on the brain to remember each year). I figured as long as I could remember when my birthday was, I could remember to get the exam.
On July 12 (my birthday is actually July 22, for any of you card-crazy people out there!) I went to the doctor’s office for the check-up. I usually saw the Physician’s Assistant, since she was the only female in the office, so this visit was no different.
I told her right away about the perky traitor that decided to turn “inny” on me. She felt the breast and said that she didn’t see anything to be concerned about (boy, was she wrong!). Since she didn’t see any reason for concern, she wasn’t in a hurry to make a mammogram appointment, and said I could do it whenever I got a chance. The pap went fine and I told her I would call for the mammogram appointment later in the
