When you mentor someone different from you, you will see the world from their perspective and they will see the world from yours—what you both learn from those experiences will help you to embrace diversity, feel more comfortable with difference, and more importantly will make you a more inclusive person. These experiences will also help to create the next generation of inclusive leaders.3 Don’t underestimate the power of your networks and be generous in creating connection opportunities for your mentee. If you feel comfortable promoting your mentee, sponsor them—it can make a huge difference to their career.
4 Successful mentoring relationships can’t be forced. In my experience, the most successful relationships evolve organically and both parties must be authentic, committed to, and invested in nurturing the relationship.
Advice to new mentees from Keerthi
When reflecting on my own journey, there are two key insights around mentoring that I think are particularly relevant to culturally diverse women:
1 Don’t focus on cultural diversity. This may sound counter-intuitive, but don’t approach the relationship from a cultural similarity perspective, which can put an unhelpful lens on conversations. Instead, approach it with a fresh pair of eyes, as you would any new mentoring relationship. Being different is a strength and it’s good to celebrate difference but don’t let it define the relationship.
2 Avoid the echo chamber. When I started on my journey I believed I needed to connect with as many lawyers as possible. Eventually I learned not to fixate on selecting a mentor from a particular cultural background or professional or personal experience. If you want to be a successful lawyer, for example, it doesn’t necessarily mean lawyers must mentor you. Whilst there is comfort in common language and experiences, you risk only hearing what your peers think, and reinforcing your own worldview. Hearing the perspectives of someone from a different background can be very powerful. It may help open up opportunities you had never dreamed of, or have conversations about career directions that you may never have with someone in your own professions. The world is a small place and there is no such thing as a bad mentor or bad connection. There are only a few degrees of separation from you and the rest of the world.
Whilst similar cultural heritage and shared values facilitated an initial connection between Keerthi and Ruby, ultimately the strength, substance and value of their relationship thrived from the diversity of their experiences and the different perspectives that they brought to the table.
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