tone. “Ok…we usually meet at the mall.” By this time Neil had joined them.
Allison looked offended, and chatted on about something else.
Kara decided to look over her English notes, and went in homeroom. She was vaguely aware someone was behind her.
Neil sat down and leaned in her direction. “Aren’t we lucky? She wants to go to the movies with us. She didn’t like what you said about meeting her there. She expects us to pick her up.”
“Kara hated the way nothing was private. “Look Neil,” she said in a low voice. “How did she even know we went to the movies? Next time, the three of you go without me. I’m sure Allison thinks Scott and I are seeing each other…which means I’m ‘someone’. Well, we aren’t and I’m not.”
The bell rang just in time. Neil caught up to her on the way to English. “I’m sorry about what I said. I thought you did ’take him down’.”
Kara sighed, it was hard…impossible to take anything back in high school. “If you don’t know what went on…ask first, ok?”
“I tried to…on the bus, remember?”
Kara took her seat in English, putting this together. Annie was the only one who knew about her and Scott. She emailed Neil and told him. From now on she would be more careful.
She waited until after her run on to blog.
pb: ‘This is hard but I have to say it. I made a choice not to see Scott this Sunday. The problem is…I didn’t know I’d feel this way. When I close my eyes at night I can see his eyes sparkling back at me. It’s like he’s here, but he’s not. What if Annie’s right and I HAVE made a big mistake? If I see him tomorrow, I’ll invite him over.’
The whole day, seeing Scott was all she could think about. She knew just what to do. He had study hall last period in the library. As soon as the bell rang, she raced down the hall and turned the corner. There he was in front of her, with his arm around a girl! Kara slowed down to avoid them, but not soon enough. He looked back and saw her. The girl stopped and leaned against a wall. It looked like they were about to kiss. “Ok Scott I get it,” she thought. Kara held it together long enough to walk past them.
She hurried to reach the safety of the bus. Kara took an empty seat and slid over to the window. Her eyes rested on Scott and the girl, on the way to his car. She couldn’t help herself and kept looking out the window. Neil sat next to her and put his arm on the back of the seat.
“Can I say something?” He asked.
Kara had some water left, and swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. She eventually nodded.
“A guy like Scott is used to getting what he wants. So maybe this time he didn’t. As far as that girl goes, she doesn’t mean anything to him.”
“I’ll be more on top of it next time,” she sighed, warmed by his understanding.
PERSPECTIVE
When Kara came downstairs the next morning, Mom was sitting at the kitchen table.
“You slept late,” she observed, looking up from the newspaper.
She didn’t feel like talking, but maybe it would help. “I could use another opinion,” Kara began, sitting across from her.
Mom saw this was hard. “Sure…will Scott be over this Sunday?”
“He wanted to, but I said ‘no’. Then I started missing him. I caught up to him yesterday, to see if…” Her eyes filled and she bowed her head at remembering. “He was with another girl, a real loser!”
Mom just listened, and poured some hot tea for them both. Kara took a sip, the warmth felt good on her dry throat.
“I think you’re being too hard on yourself. He’s the first boy you’ve ever spent time with. Relationships are hard to understand.”
“There’s more,” Kara continued. “Everyone has an opinion about what went on between us. I hate the way they’re talking about me!”
Mom put a comforting hand on hers.
“So…he wanted to come over, and you said ‘no’. I’m sure you didn’t mean to hurt him.”
“It’s just everything got so complicated. At the dance…it was like I didn’t know him.”
“Feel up to some advice?” Mom waited for a nod. “One thing you can always do is be yourself. Think of who you are, Kara. You’re a runner and a good friend. You have a sense of what’s right for you. I’m not sure Annie will have that 10 years from now.”
Mom got up to heat more water for tea.
Kara thought about what Mom said. She was ‘down’ about Scott, but that wasn’t a reason to give up. “I hate the way I blame myself for everything, like why my dad left,” she whispered. She quickly put a hand over her mouth and hoped Mom wasn’t listening.
They didn’t hear Annie come in until the door closed. She picked up her mug from the counter and sat down. “I bet you’re talking about Scott, right? He didn’t waste any time! He was with a girl at The Onion last night.”
“Can we talk about something else?” Kara spoke up.
“Sure. How about why I’m here.” No one answered, so she continued. “Because you’re going with me…to The Onion.”
Kara put her hand up as a definite ‘no’. That was the last thing she wanted to do!
“I get it,” Annie said with a nod. “You don’t want to run into Scott.”
“That’s already happened,” Kara admitted, adding milk and sugar to her tea. At least she was ‘safe’ here, and thought about her weekend…a couple of runs, homework, a few chores. Boring.
“Ok I’ll go,” she agreed, “but I have to run first.” She pulled her overnight braid forward. “Can we do something with this?”
Annie got right on it. “I’ll go home and pick up a few things; meet you back here in an hour.”
Kara quickly changed and took off down the street. It meant a lot to her…having Scott over on Sundays. She didn’t realize how much when she said ‘no’ to this Sunday. By the time she changed her mind, it was too late. “Like I told Neil, next time I’ll be on top of it.”
Refreshed after her run and shower, she wrapped her hair in a towel to wait for Annie.
RETURN
Annie arrived with her bag of goodies. She emptied everything out on the bed. There were spray-on hair colors and a zillion bottles of nail polish. Annie cut holes in a shower cap and pulled strands of hair through. She sprayed these with the ‘cinnamon twist’ Kara picked out. The contrast with her auburn shade was awesome. Next she did her nails with pearly blue nail polish. Annie said it was way too ‘over’. Kara used a metallic top coat which got her approval.
“You
