and waved to a few friends. A football player named Colin came over and asked her to sit with him. She said ‘maybe later’, and heard someone call her name.
“Hey Kara; over here!”
She walked over to Neil and said ‘hi’ to everyone. The only empty seat was next to him. The Onion was out of slices, so they took a collection to have a pizza delivered from Mario’s. Kara reached in her back pocket for five dollars. It was handed back to her.
“Glad to see you’re better … than yesterday, I mean.” Neil observed with caution.
“Yeah; I am,” Kara confided. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Annie, but don’t tell her I said that.”
“What’s with him…Colin?” He asked.
Kara shrugged. She really didn’t know.
“He’s a real jerk, I mean jock,” Neil said with certainty.
“So you know him?” Kara asked, annoyed with his ‘know it all’ attitude.
Neil almost said ‘there are some things everyone knows’, but didn’t press his luck. She was sitting next to him and that’s all that mattered.
The Onion always had a DJ on Saturday. When music started Neil took her hand and led the way to the dance floor. They danced the whole set and ended with a slow one. He didn’t mind when she rested her head on his shoulder. Neil quickly turned her in the opposite direction.
“That was close,” he whispered.
“What?”
“You’ll be ok with this?”
“Let me guess…Scott’s here with loser girl.” That was hard for her to say.
“Yeah, but I don’t think they’re together. He saw us, but I figured you wouldn’t want to see him, so I turned away.”
“I’m over it,” she simply said. If Neil was fishing for more, she could care less.
When they moved into the spotlight, he noticed her hair.
“Hey, that’s pretty cool.”
“It was my idea, but Annie helped.”
“Looks good on you.”
“Thanks.”
A compliment really meant something from a ‘techie’ like Neil. Scott wouldn’t like the extra color and glitter. Somehow that made her feel better.
CONNECTING
Kara looked forward to Sundays when Mom didn’t work. They often went to Ricardo’s, the local coffee house, for a bagel or muffin. Mom usually ran into someone she knew from the hospital. She had a lot of friends and sometimes they went out after work, but lately Kara was thinking.
“Mom, can I ask you something…a little personal?”
Mom nodded and sipped her coffee.
“Do you ever think about dating or getting married again?”
Kara took a deep breath and let it out. She didn’t know why she was so nervous.
“Sure, once in a while. I had a few dates when you were little. I don’t know if you remember.” Mom paused and leaned back, as if SHE was trying to relax.
Kara shook her head ‘no’.
“At the time I was working and going to college. I guess it was like you said, too complicated.” Mom sighed, looking away for a second. “When I was your age, I thought I HAD to get married. Dave and I got together in high school. I didn’t realize how much he was drinking until later. That’s when I found out he’d take me home and go meet his friends. I was ‘in love’, if you know what I mean, and didn’t pay attention.”
Mom paused for a waitress to put their bagels on the table.
“I think that happens a lot,” Kara acknowledged, well beyond her years.
“I heard you mention something about your father right before Annie came over.”
“Yeah, I did,” Kara nodded. “I’d like to know more about him.”
“That was a long time ago,” she explained, and watched while Kara took a bite from the bagel.
Mom continued with determination. “By the time I was pregnant, we were already headed in opposite directions. After we married The drinking got worse. When he started staying out all night, I knew it was time for a decision. I hit me when you were about a month old. One night I was holding you…there was such a look of trust in your eyes! I made up my mind I was going to deserve that trust. I asked…no, told him to leave. It hasn’t been easy, but I like where I am. I’m not ready for a change. I look forward to coming home everyday to you and me…and Annie, of course.”
Mom accepted the refill on her coffee, glad for the break.
“Anything else you’d like to know?” She asked, waiting for an answer. Kara shook her head.
“Now it’s my turn,” Mom continued. “How do you feel about Dave? Do you think about him a lot?”
Kara put both hands on her latte, looking at Mom. She was no longer nervous or afraid.
“Once in a while. I mean, not like when I first started school. I felt ‘different’ because I didn’t have a father like the other kids. Then, after the dance…. it’s so weird. When Scott brought me home, we really needed to talk. I just couldn’t get the words out. That’s when I thought about him…dad. I do that when I feel like no one cares, except you of course.”
Mom nodded, appreciating the ‘of course’.
Kara folded her hands and rested her chin on them. “There’s a lot I’m curious about. Things like…does he think about me.”
Mom felt her daughter’s yearning and responded.
“I could try and find out.”
“It wouldn’t change anything,” Kara interrupted. “I’m not sure how, but going to The Onion yesterday helped. This is how I see it. I guess I’ve always thought I was to blame for not having a dad. It was the same with Scott. When Annie came over, I decided it was stupid. I mean; feeling guilty over things I can’t help.”
“Your father isn’t around because I asked HIM to leave.” Mom gave it a minute to sink in. “So go on about The Onion.”
“Scott was there…and so was loser girl, but they weren’t together. The best part was, everyone was glad to see me. And maybe a little surprised. Like I said, they all have their opinions. I danced with Neil a lot; that’s why I stayed longer.”
Kara shifted her weight to get comfortable. “Tell me, Mom. Does anything turn out like you think?”
Mom reached under the table and squeezed
