bent, the great research guy.
We wrapped up tightly for a minute, in a heart-beat our breathing matched; we sighed our joined sighs and headed for the ‘Pinky bank’ to smoke the bowl packed earlier. I sat on the loveseat facing the door and Michael scooted me over and sat right next to me.
“Green,” I said as I handed him the pipe and lighter. He accepted and we went about the ritual until we were both mellow and comfortable. We made eye contact and I smiled.
Michael made the ‘stretch and yawn arm move’ in order to wrap his arm around me. I curled my body into the curve of his abdomen and enjoyed the upgrade in the reconnect and snuggled in close. In a very smooth move, Michael turned my body slightly and then was cradling me with my lower back in his lap in one gesture as though it were a practiced move. The kiss wasn’t a surprise but it was a delight to be held in such a tender and loving and personal way, the wave stimulating but also a bit frightening, and finally decompression and always wanting more.
I looked up from my position in Michael’s lap to see his face directly in front of me. Without judgment or any kind of blame I questionsed.
“What brought that on?”
“You,” he said.
No, it wasn’t a word of blame but merely the shortest unclear explanation in the history of answers.
“Me?” I questioned.
“Yes, you,” Michael said.
“You flashed me that ‘hold and kiss me’ smile so I was gladly following your silent orders.”
If he could in fact read all of my silent orders, I’d be in his arms for the rest of my life.
“Are you treating me as though you’re not married?”
I blatantly asked forgetting to soften the bluntness that usually comes from my mouth.
“No Baby, I hope I’m recognizing and honoring our connection by giving in to it, learning more, and trying to understand it.”
“Oh, ok.”
I smiled as multiple ways to honor our connection came to mind at the same time. Just thinking of truly giving in to the direction of his pull made me giggle like a stupid school girl.
We sat in quiet stillness for a time maybe a half an hour. In that time we moved only minimally, once to hold hands and once to lace our fingers. Our breathing matched and our contentment was evident in our joined sighs. It was easy to wile away the hours while we worked at continually reconnecting. The feelings were so good it was impossible to say that we’d had enough. I for one couldn’t seem to get enough.
Michael looked at me.
“I was wondering have you heard from David since the tour?”
“No,” I said.
Michael made a call to David and left a message.
“Hi David, its Michael, please call me back as soon as you get this message I need to talk to you regarding Helen and what’s going on.”
Still sitting within each other’s embrace after Michael closed the phone we snuggled in tight. I thought of nothing except the feel of Michael next to me and the scent of him in that moment, wild honeysuckle and musk. Without thought of the future or the past but only being in that moment I was happy; I was as happy as was possible for any human being to be. No matter what I had to endure, it would never be as bad as the good I felt then.
The time for fixing our dinner meal had come and gone but I didn’t want to leave our sweet cocoon. No, I didn’t want to leave and I wanted more kisses. Michael must have felt my desire because he lifted my face to his and gently put his soft lips on mine. We tightened our hold and rode out the fabulous undulating heat. The need to rip off my clothing was new and I worked at ignoring it but I couldn’t stop myself as my shirt came off in one smooth and nearly unseen move. More of my skin was available to sear against his. Michael increased his hold by wrapping his arms entirely around my waist and pressing me to him with force I’d not felt before.
When we could move again without instigating another rapture Michael picked me up and carried me into my bedroom and placed me on the big bed again. After that we took turns giving each other kisses and igniting our passions and inviting the wave. When our bodies were finally limp after all the excessive stimulation we just laid in each other’s arms talking quietly about each episode and how marvelous it all felt.
When our stomachs growled in unison and left no doubt that it was time to fix a meal, I went into action.
“I hear your belly call for food; do you have a preference, or would you just like me to surprise you with some good grub?” I asked.
“Let’s fix it together, whatever it is, ok?” He didn’t want to be far from me.
“Yeah, sounds good.”
Dinner came together with ease. We made a salad and a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches and ate at the breakfast bar over some easy conversation. Music accompanied our meal and dialogue.
After the food was consumed and we cleaned up the kitchen I caught Michael shaking his head and laughing at me but I hadn’t said anything funny.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, wanting to be in on the joke.
Without saying a word, Michael reached over to me and touched my right breast with the end of his pointer finger. I watched it happen but whatever he was pointing out was not registering in my brain and I stood there watching him in confusion. Seeing that I didn’t get it, he tried another move. That time he put the same pointer finger under one of my bra straps and snapped it against my skin; then he waited for me to catch on.
It took another minute but I did finally realize that I was still without my shirt. Awareness about things like that in regard to me had always been missing. I had to add to my routine the process of examining myself in the mirror before I left the house or there was no telling what I’d be putting out there for the world to see. For whatever reason, I never gave myself a thought.
“You know, Michael, when Henry and I were first married, I’d forget that I didn’t have clothes on. Henry would find me in the kitchen cooking his breakfast naked, sometimes I’d have an apron on but mostly I was just there without my clothes. The first time it turned him on but after that he got irritated with me. He wasn’t irritated that I was naked but he was irritated because I was unaware that I was naked. The day that I put ‘the mirror check’ in my routine Henry called me ‘stupid’ for being unaware.”
“Baby, I don’t think that man knew how to embrace the differences between you and the rest of the world. It’s obvious to me that he didn’t recognize your value. Nakedness is what being married is all about, physically and emotionally. Hellie, you allow others to see you for who you really are and don’t even make an attempt to hide because you have nothing to be ashamed of.”
While I set up the coffee maker to produce our morning coffee, Michael left the room but returned before the coffee chore was completed. He’d gone to my closet and brought me a little red cardigan sweater; held it for me to put my arms into and then he buttoned the two middle buttons.
Watching him fuss over me while wrapped in the protective cocoon of our
