fragments of my big M.U.G. have been communicated in different places over time, I have never before explained it in its entirety. Specifically, I have not demonstrated how all of the pieces fit and work together — until I thought of you. This is the first time I have ever documented it.
What is my big Maxim of Universal Guidelines? It is the Fuddle Cup — my simple truth.
If you are anything like your grandmother, you may be wondering, “If it is so simple, why did you need to write an entire book to explain it?”
It is for this reason: A truth is simple. Living a life of truth is not.
The Fuddle Cup
“It is impossible to empty or fill the contents of one of the cups without doing the same to each of the remaining cups — Just like your life.”
A Fuddle Cup is not an actual cup. I coined the concept to demonstrate how the different aspects of life spill over into each other and act as one. My inspiration was based on the antique English drinking vessel, the fuddling cup.
The word ‘fuddle’ means, to muddle or confuse — which is why people say they are befuddled when they are utterly confused or perplexed.
A fuddling cup is a three-dimensional puzzle in the form of a drinking vessel comprised of three or more cups linked together. Upon first glance, it appears the cups are totally separate. In actuality, the bodies of each cup are connected to each other with clever tubes or holes.
An English cultural phenomenon between the sixteenth and eighteenth centuries, a fuddling cup was offered in jest as a challenge to drink from one cup, without spilling the contents of the others. Sometimes, each individual cup was filled with a different libation to be discovered by the drinker as the contents of one cup flowed into the next.
The series of cups communicate at their bottoms with passages in such a way that the entire vessel can be drained from any individual cup. Because of the clever connectivity of the cups, it is impossible to empty or fill the contents in one of the cups, without doing the same to each of the remaining cups — Just like your life.
There it is, Kids — the whole point. What gets poured into one aspect of your life will eventually flow into all others. Likewise, it is impossible to draw from a singular area in your life without extracting from all the others.
Every person has his or her own Fuddle Cup, more commonly referred to as their life. Everybody faces the awkward task of trying to drink, fill, and balance their cup. Every day, whether we are conscious of it or not, we clumsily tilt our Fuddle Cup this way and that — attempting to draw out different parts of life effectively.
We strive to drink the most out of life while we accidentally and unavoidably spill all over ourselves. We unwelcomingly splash our carelessness on everyone around us. It is a befuddling process, indeed.
Life is a Fuddle Cup — with its interlaced and individual aspects that inevitably, affect one another. Everybody constantly struggles to balance it. Every day, we drink a little or a lot, spill a little or a lot, and win or lose the challenge set before us.
No one is immune to it. Everyone gets sloshed in their own spillage on a regular basis. All people find themselves dealing with the dilemma of drinking from their Fuddle Cup without drowning in it, and will continue to do so for the rest of their lives.
Kids — everyone has a drinking problem…of sorts.
Everyone Has a Drinking Problem
“As any medical professional would tell you, drinking problems are never 100% cured — they are managed. As long as you continue to breathe, it will be a challenge.”
I want to make it clear I am not making light of alcoholism. It is quite the opposite. Alcoholism, or any other addiction, is a degenerative condition that destroys not only the person afflicted, but their loved ones equally. In fact, there is no one in our society that does not pay the price for a person’s addictive behavior.
It is my hope none of you ever experiences such a circumstance. You should know, that if you do, I would plead for you to find professional help immediately. You should also know that I realize everyone finds themselves — someplace at some time — they never thought they would be. We are all much less invincible than we think and more susceptible to getting lost in seemingly harmless, yet dangerous behavior.
I beg you to keep yourself safe from delusions of being able to control the power of any potential addiction. Should you arrive at that point anyway, find your way back to a healthy life and remember this: I have the greatest respect for anyone who confronts their mistakes, takes responsibility, turns their world around, and does not look back. I admire and applaud their strength. Ultimately, I would be immensely proud of you and your ability to achieve self-control.
Back to the Cup:
As any medical professional would tell you, drinking problems are never 100% cured — they are managed. As long as you continue to breathe, it will be a challenge.
So is true for the Fuddle Cup drinking problem everyone has. You will never be rid of it; however, you can manage it — especially to your advantage. Many alcoholics who are managing their situation well, explain that while they wish they could take back all of the mistakes and pain they caused, they have never been happier or felt more alive since their recovery. Interesting.
I interviewed a group of Alcoholics Anonymous members on the subject. Some of the reasons they cite for the shift in their life happiness and satisfaction are things such as:
Freedom in honesty about who you really are [especially with yourself]
Humility and responsibility of how your actions affect others
Permission not to be perfect and skills to make restitution
Living by a new code that admits: life is bigger than you are. You are not the center, nor can you control everything — and those are good things
A new awareness and true sense of purpose
Mastering new skills of empowerment to balance your life and have more control over your future
I learned a great deal from those brave and honest people. I am grateful for their candor. It was not difficult to identify that what they were describing — the very thing that saved their lives and spared the loved ones around them — were basic life skills that everyone could benefit from, but too few have had the opportunity to receive.
It is both tragic and ironic that something terrible had to happen to these people in order for them to have an extraordinary life later.
Then I considered the countless others in the world; those who are somewhat or incredibly dissatisfied
