citizens,” the woman spoke, “I am Senator Rachel Argent here to help remind you all about the wonderful accomplishments we have made over the years to lead us toward a better future. There is still more work needed to be done during the Transition Period, but let’s review some of the wondrous technologies that have helped us get through this challenging point in time. For starters, let’s begin with your work space and how the hover saucer technology has aided animals and humans.” The video switched to a screen showing a blue print layout of a hover saucer. Argent’s voice continued.
“Your hover saucer, like all hover saucers, contains a center room on the first floor. This room contains all the power generators which run entirely on electricity. Electricity obtained from many different ‘eco-friendly’ solutions under the Pacheco Laws. For example, solar panels may be used but only on certain areas of the saucer, so no animal could land on top of the panels and burn to death. Solar panels are, therefore, commonly placed on the sides of each saucer building.
“Another way your saucer generates power is through the means of biopower. With advancements made over the years, the world is now able to take a very large amount of waste and convert it into renewable energy. Occupants of each saucer help provide fuel when needing to—” She gave a little chuckle, “excuse me, ‘use the facilities.’ When you flush, your waste is sent to the machinery room where several processors convert the waste into energy. The processors also separate out the water to be sent back to the sinks and toilets to be reused. Of course, the water has to be changed out every once in a while because the liquid can only be recycled up to 90% each time, but it does help make each saucer self-sustaining.
“Wind power has also been helpful. However, each fan has to be placed in an area that will not harm any animals of course. Now, the most important power generators are the stationary bikes; they insure that there is enough energy to power your hover saucer. For example, let’s say one of your power maintenance attendants notices that the power levels start to drop. The attendant can get on one of the bikes and start pedaling to help maintain the levels, which allows enough time for the other energy generators, such as wind, bio, and solar, to gain back power. The bikes also ensure that, if anything goes wrong, there will always be back up power.” The video continued until Paris was interrupted.
“Hey Frankie!” came a voice standing next to Paris’s desk. It was Jake Edwards; a heavy set man in his early 40’s, “How’s it going buddy? You’re here early.”
“So I’ve been told,” said Paris hoping the tone in his voice would deter Edwards. Unfortunately, the big man was never good at reading hints and rambled on.
“Having one of those days, eh pal? I had one of those last week. I went into my garage to grab a few things when a shelf nearly collapsed on me. Thank God I moved out of the way cause’ I could have been knocked out cold.”
“Or damn Satan for missing,” Paris said under his breath.
“But also,” Edwards continued, “Thank God there wasn’t an animal underneath the shelf; otherwise I would have had to explain to the police that I did not purposely drop the box on the poor creature to kill it.”
“Again, damn Satan,” Paris thought.
“Apparently, I was having a terrible termite problem in my garage. Thank God none of them were in the house, but I had a real problem on my hands. How do I get rid of these bugs? Can’t just spray poison in my garage to kill the critters; animals could die from the gas. So then I thought, ‘Hey, what if I use animals, legally of course, to solve my problem?’ I’ll just look for a couple of animals that eat those pests and get them to do the job.”
“Wow Jake, you’re so clever,” Paris said sarcastically.
“I know right? So, I did some research and found that there were a couple of aardvarks living in my area. God was really smiling down on me.”
“Or Satan was lazy.”
“What’s that?”
“Oh man that’s crazy.”
“Indeed, so, I found where they were and lured them to my house with some bread crumbs. It took about two hours just to get the critters near my house, but, once they were there, they started eating away at those termites.”
“And now you have aardvarks in your garage.”
“Yes, but I figured I will let them stay in there as insurance to make sure the termites don’t return. I’ll feed them some bread crumbs and water to keep them from wandering off. Sure it’s going to smell like aardvark poo, but—”
“Better a garage that smells like poo than being poopy for having no garage!” jumped in James Bell.
“Right!” Edwards answered back while they both laughed out loud.
“Damn it,” Paris thought, “Now I have two quacking ducks hovering over me.”
“You know Jake,” Bell began, “I know some people who had the same problem in their homes but with cats. You see, the wife was terribly allergic to felines, so they lured a couple of dogs to their home to get rid of the cats. But then, it was discovered that the husband was allergic to dogs.”
“So how did they solve their dog problem?” asked Edwards.
“His mother-in-law moved in.”
Both Edwards and Bell laughed even harder at this joke than the one before.
Paris sat at his desk hoping the two hyenas would move their cackling someplace else and stop eating away at his soul.
“And speaking of termites, Frank,” Bell said to Paris, “Did you hear about last night’s debate?”
“Yes,” Paris said somberly, “They were showing a rerun this morning.”
“Man, what a great debate that was. Even though I strongly disagree with what Anthony was talking about wanting to include bugs as sentient beings, I just don’t think it would be economically feasible.”
“And I agree,” Edwards responded, “I mean we had so many problems develop after the Pacheco Laws were passed, because people never really thought about what would happen with these kinds of laws. It would just be ridiculous to have bugs protected under those same laws.”
“Yes, but, one thing that Anthony did in his debate that I loved, was that he showed everyone the technological advances that we developed after the laws were passed. I mean, I still remember as a kid dreaming about hover cars and now it's a reality.”
“Well, it was a reality back then James. It just was not, and to quote you, economically feasible. The only reason we started pushing the technology was out of necessity.”
“Which is the mother of invention. But, it does make me wonder, what kind of technology mankind would have to create, if bugs were viewed as sentient beings. What do you think Frank?” Bell said trying to include Paris in the conversation.
Paris was very annoyed at this point. He did not want to talk about animals, technology, or the future. He just wanted to be alone with his thoughts, “Guys, I need to get some stuff done before my shift. I really can’t talk right now.”
“Oh sure,” Edwards said, “No problem champ. We’ll talk later.”
“Yeah
