Dedication
I dedicate this book to my dad George Luetchford. You will always be the light that I live by no matter how many years pass from the day you left this earth and my mother Mary who makes me feel like I can do anything I put my mind to. Also my children, Matthew, Tanita, Kelsee, Nakita and Jorgeena, somehow no matter what is happening in my life you can always make me smile. Thank you Kelsee and Tanita for the greatest gift of all my grandchildren. I hope you all enjoy the story and find some comfort in it.
Nazamala
The threat.
Chapter 1
I am old: not in a way that you would understand. Your human mind could not comprehend the extent of my lifetime. It is beyond the description of Ancient. I have existed in one form or another for what seems like a millennium and perhaps is. Oh I could work it out in human years, and relatively quickly. But after all of this time years no longer matter.
My sacred name is no longer spoken. I have been known by so many names; Ishtar, Hathor, Shiva, Shakti, Ixchel…the list goes on. Each one creating images in my mind of long forgotten passages of time. Each one has its own story to tell and perhaps someday I will put some of it down on paper. But for now I must deal with what is it hand.
Only 45 years ago I made a decision to take on human form. Not many of us ever do this. It is hard to contain our force in such a weak form. Let alone to live with the loss of power or to try and contain this power in such a delicate, fragile human form. The decision was not made lightly. I pondered it for some time; which in our true form is unusual in itself. My careful nature and constant thought has driven my friends and family to utter madness at times. Humankind just does not understand how wonderful your lives truly are. My father made a perfect creation.
Anu, Ra, Yahweh names that intertwine with the images of time. I fear now he has long left this world. But it comforts me to believe that he may be still watching. Even I fell in love with his creation. You captivated me so much so that I took this step to enter humanity. I just wanted to feel, taste, and experience life as a human. The pain the euphoria, it is difficult to find words to explain.
Oh in our true form, we feel and taste but just not the same way. We are strong powerful almost invincible and very old. We have seen and done so much it taints our perception of life.
I said almost invincible as so many of us are now learning we are not. We believed it was only the flaming swords that could extinguish our life force and there are so few of these swords left...the last they were called to be used was during the fall. We do not fear much and even the sword would not concern the majority, as we believe in fate absolute. No questions asked...or at least that was one of our directives.
Fear is what makes human life so intense. Humanity runs on fear. It brings such wild strong emotions that flow even to the soul changing its form, strengthening it or even weakening it.
The soul, my father, gave you that. It is what has caused all of this to go out of control. I know if he had not included that in his creation. The paths of so many would have changed and perhaps for the better.
The soul is the key. It always has been and I finally understand that.
I wish I could talk with him again after all of those long confusing conversations. I understand. You gave your creation the ultimate gift. Eternal Life! Not as we understood it but something that we could not quite grasp. Their lifespan is so short in their human form but their souls. Their souls are what we all have been searching for.
It’s funny that after all my careful planning and thought to become human; that did not once occur to me. Yet now it is the reason I go on. It is the belief that if I die in this form, my soul will go on. It is why Enlil or Satan as he is known by most of humanity now, fought so hard against this and why he continues to test us now.
See when Enlil rose against him he cut him off from the source. Leaving him unable to take the steps I have and I believe now given the opportunity he would.
To live life as a human, I had to encapsulate my entity. Carefully extracting just my life essence. Leaving me helpless without memory of myself and no access to my powers given to me by Father or the source. This took an immense elemental force and careful precision. I had to leave myself with just enough force to enter my essence into an embryo I had chosen and to keep those cells alive while the capsule was solidified. The capsule was timed and should have opened in sections starting around my 21st birthday. Slowly leaking knowledge and power into my human self. If my calculations were correct I believed I should be able to contain the power by then but if not I left instructions on how to encapsulate power in other forms until needed. I also left directions on how to split my entity to be able to become myself without hurting the human part of me. I thought I had planned for everything...but as you humans say the best laid plans of mice and men...
I entered a newly created human embryo before a soul was placed, making sure that the legions were not alerted to the change. By encapsulating my entity I would essentially disappear to all my brothers and sisters and any other friend or foe would be unable to trace me. But I didn't want my energy signature to disappear so close to my human parents, so Loki had been asking me for a few millennia to borrow my strength to visit Nibiru. Very few of us have the strength to travel that far and although Loki has been with us since near the beginning of time. He has always been a trickster and has been constantly drained by the council to control his mischief. Not that I believe anyone will truly ever be able to control him. So I gave him a lot of my power as much as I could spare considering the spell I was casting but it was more than I was using. This would mean when such a large amount of my energy left no-one would be suspicious as time had gone on I had essentially stopped using almost all of my powers. So they had become very strong, when not used our energies just keep stockpiling.
It is ironic looking back on this now as it was Loki who created my fascination with humanity. He loved humans and spent most of his time around them. He always told me he preferred their company to ours. I never really understood what attracted him so much. Oh I loved humans but as all of us do as a caretaker of children watching and solving your problems. My brothers and sisters did not have much patience with Loki. His constant jokes and tricks, like a jester in medieval times. I presumed it was just that which annoyed them...after all we are a fairly serious bunch and way to logical for our own good.
As it happens I began to see the pull of humanity in the saddest way. It was in the late 50's of your timeline. Loki came to me asking to heal his arm, we can heal ourselves of almost any injury but of course it takes energy and he had depleted his amusing a woman. He had been creating butterflies made of crystal that glowed and flew in intricate patterns across the night sky. He wasn't concentrating, apparently staring at her face that was awestruck and beyond beautiful; according to him and fell of a cliff. It was a very tall cliff. He didn’t have enough to heal his now crushed arm. I did see that he had been able to heal the important male parts of himself though. This is typical male behavior even in our race.
He took humans quiet often as his companions, even though it was definitely frowned upon even forbidden. But Loki never obeyed the rules, hence the loss of power. So I wasn't surprised at the situation. I was slightly annoyed though and decided to only heal part of his arm leaving a large scar from the elbow to the hand. I told him that he could fix that when he recharged but perhaps it would remind him not to be so frivolous in his actions. On a side note, I have seen him since and the scar is still there. He tells me it is his link with humanity and reminds him of just how fragile a human can be...to always protect them first...never allow himself to be too weak to do so.
He left me to return to his lover. Her name
