failed. Being human has taught me through these lessons of life. Being human has taught me so much. It has taught me patience, kindness and a true respect for life. I have been ill as you have. I have lost jobs, had car accidents and been late for so many things. I have listened to my friends and helped when I could. I have had true friendships. Something that before I fear I may not have been to those I called friends. Most of humanity relies on someone else for his or her wellbeing and happiness. It has been a very humbling experience. My true form would never be late as I could be at many places at once. I relied on no one as I could do almost anything.
Over time the knowledge of my past became clear to me with each broken seal of my capsule. I dwelled on this knowledge but continued on my human path.
I do not know the full extent of my powers now, as I have not tested them. But I feel the strength of them waiting to be called for reaching through the worlds.
I do not believe the problem with our race was with my father’s design of us. I believe it is within our own thoughts and decisions. We had become arrogant and selfish relying on our powers for far too much, for menial things. We wanted to be worshipped as Gods. But we were so far from being such a thing.
It was after thousands of years watching. For that is what we were supposed to be, the watchers, that we grew tired and impatient and began to play with the humans. It took thousands more for me to tire of that as well.
We are magical creatures. We can control the earth, wind, water and fire. Or perhaps I should clarify that a little. The oldest of us can do all of the above. Our powers grow stronger over time. But someone or something has been stealing powers from the oldest of us my brother Raguel, Sariel, Saphkiel, Maleeha, Gagiel to name a few. I felt them pass or at least their powers transfer. I have yet to look to see if that meant their passing or worse. I felt their life force disappear but I hold hope that they may still be somewhere. Somewhere even I cannot see.
Chapter 2
As I read back through this I feel I may be doing my own kind an injustice. We are beautiful creatures, more beautiful than you could ever imagine. Those of you, who have seen us in our true form though dimmed, call us angels.
We cannot show you our true form without a filter, as your eyes could not handle the brilliance. Our wings are feathered and laced with a metallic trim because they aren’t really used for flying but as a shield when in combat. They are beautiful and Michelangelo’s paintings do not do them justice. Our spirits make our bodies glow with power. I myself have long flowing curly dark hair with gold highlights. I am taller than my human form although compared to my brothers and sisters I am slightly shorter, approximately 6 foot. We do not have fat; our bodies are lean and perfectly formed. But we are all individual in our looks, each as beautiful as the other. We survive on energy although we can eat. We rarely do. Our bodies do not age or fatten. They are in perfect form once our growth cycle is complete. I know hundreds of women reading this have now just thought, “I wish”. It is a sad reality that as a human woman that battle between fat and age is something we all are constantly at war with. Being human I know that feeling. I have often wished I could keep that part of my original form but then I wouldn’t be human.
Getting back to my family, we were of course meant to do no harm. We were supposed to watch, direct and protect you. Unfortunately jealousy and boredom took its toll and we have done humanity great harm. We have manipulated and played with your minds until you can no longer see the truth.
In earlier years we played Gods, had human lovers and even crossbreed children. They were giants, monsters and occasionally beautiful human like creatures. Our Father caused the flood to destroy them and forbade the making of anymore. It was a very hard lesson for us all to learn. In our true form we cannot produce a child together, all of us were created by our Father. Having a child, even if they were more often than not monstrosities, was a new experience that provided at least the males of our species with much amusement. We still didn’t have that connection that I have now with my human children. But it was interesting and exciting to do something we believed previously we were unable to do. Losing them was sad but most were just annoyed that they were taken from us. I would say that the majority did not mourn their loss.
We rarely show any emotion although we do feel them occasionally. If you wait for a reaction from one of us, you will probably be disappointed. We are far to logical for our own good and generally just do what we want unless ordered to do otherwise.
You on the other hand are my Father’s favorite creation. Perfect! Full of love, hope and what I have come to know as humanity. My human life has not been easy. I have lived it with no use of my powers and continue to do so. Of course in my earlier years I had no power or memories so I had too. I learnt to walk and talk as you do. I learnt right from wrong and how to be the best I could be from my human parents. I studied hard and had great success academically. I have always loved to learn and that trait obviously transferred to my human self. Reading is a favorite pastime of mine in my true form and my human one. Not as much as my brother Raziel but I love creating imagery in my mind from the words on a page.
One of the things that intrigue me about humanity is the way that you create a goal and then strive toward it no matter what the barriers or how long you must work to get there. Then once you reach that goal. You create a new one and continue. This is truly a wonderful thing to watch and live through. We don’t do that.
Being human has taught me so much, so much more than the millennia before.
I have not physically been back to Nibiru, since the time of the pharaohs, although our spirits are always connected to the source there. Unless Father disconnected you from it, as some of my fallen brothers could describe to you. I believe I am fortunate to not know that feeling from the pain I feel emanating from the fallen.
I find myself dreaming of it sometimes. Nibiru is our home a planet located near the stars of Orion. It is beautiful with golden seas and purple skies. There are trees that almost reach the sky and flowers that would take your breath away with their beauty and perfume.
It is strange how humanity has changed me. If you had known me before you would have heard me describe the sheer opulence of Nibiru. The diamond encrusted marble baths, the palaces dripping in gold and silver. The streets encrusted with precious stones. But now I picture its purest of beauty. The mountains, the sea not things created for us to use but for us to view. Now it is the images in my mind of the faces of my brothers and sisters. These are the memories that haunt me. Oh and the music the beautiful enchanting music, the air sings as it flows and our instruments blend with its tune. The great composers of your time; Vivaldi, Mozart, Beethoven could never capture the sounds of Nibiru.
I remember long talks with my Father, walking along the waters of the lakes edge. He told stories trying to teach me through them. They were confusing and I believe I would do them an injustice to try and explain or repeat them. As I was always only half listening to his words? I wish now, I had listened more.
We came to your world initially for Gold. You see our Father created all that we knew of, even Earth but our planet didn’t have any gold left so he brought us here to harvest it. Unfortunately we were lazy and spoilt. Era decided to go to our Father to ask to create a workforce. He did this and all seemed well. But my Father grew silent day by day. He then called us together and explained that he had made a decision. To create Man and give him, this planet, free will and a soul.
My brothers and sisters exploded with outrage. We have no free will in our true form. Oh we can make decisions obviously or I wouldn't be here but if my Father wills it we must obey. The pain of defiance is brutal and eventually we are cut off from the source.
My Father tried to explain but some just would not hear or accept his decision. As for the soul I know I had no comprehension of what that
