truly could mean but perhaps Enlil did? He was my Father's favorite and I could see my Father’s pain as he raged against him. He gathered followers and started the Great War.
We are beautiful beings but in war; we are unfathomably vicious. So many were lost to the flaming swords. When the sky cleared. My brother and those that stood with him were gone. Michael and Gabriel stood next to my Father. It was a horrific sight. The damage done to each other and the earth was beyond words. We did not know then were my brother had gone. It was several years later before we would see him again.
I know others have shared this knowledge with your race as the paintings on the walls of the Sistine chapel depict them majestically.
But there was nothing majestic about them at all. Oh I am sure in our armor and carrying our flaming swords we are a sight to be in awe off. It is the viciousness, pain and pure blood lust. I refer to, hatred and pain, so much pain. Physical and spiritual: your rivers ran red and the skies were black with smoke.
Father ordered us to be your watchers. He stayed on earth for a while. He used us to inflict lessons upon you. But you can read about these in other scripts. There are stories that someday I may yet tell but for now I will leave these records as they stand. I do not know where Father is. I do not feel him at all anymore. Something has changed. Michael and Gabriel still continue to protect you and do his works. I see their footprints occasionally. A child is saved or a cancer is cured. These are things the oldest of us can do. But I watch even in this human form and feel the subtle changes to anarchy.
Chapter 3
This is why I have decided to write, as I feel something is approaching. I felt my Father’s word unbound my powers. He knows all, so obviously he decided it was time for me to have them back. I know that I could use them at any time now, without having to call them to me.
I have cloaked myself for safety, until I have investigated and studied as much as I can. I shall be patient and careful in my exploration as I feel the darkness is gathering and if my Father is truly gone? There is reason to be cautious where I tread.
I do not wish to leave my human life. My first experiment to the ethereal plane nearly did just that. I foolishly left my body transforming to my true form. My human soul could not stand the immediate transformation and went into shock. Nearly severing the silver cord of life. I returned quickly and was able to encase myself again. It left me exhausted for several weeks in my human form.
The next time I was much more careful. Splitting my true form leaving only my human self. I thought this would allow me to continue my human life without disappearing from it. I remember hiding in the ethereal plane from my brothers long ago when I didn’t want to be bothered by the duties given to me by them. So I thought that is where I should make my first trial visit. I cloaked my form then released myself to the plane. Leaving my human body and mind behind.
It was a beautiful experience to feel the passions, emotions and see the pure beauty of the ethereal plane. The every changing colors of iridescent mists and loss of weight both physical and spiritual. As those humans who visit it can attest to, it is like a good hallucinogenic trip of acid. Escaping the reality of life. I indulged in its majesty it was hard to leave.
But I pulled myself back into my human form and allowed myself to be encased again. I was surprised to learn that my human self-had gone on without me as I rejoined connections. The memories melded together. In my true form I was always aware of each manifestation and its actions. No matter how many manifestations I created. But this time I had only left that small human part of me. I must leave part of my true form to keep that connection. Or I fear something could happen while I was gone. If any of the legions found me….well I don’t want to take that chance. All that I have been through would be for nothing.
My other concern is while I was in the ethereal plane. I felt others of my kind there. They were hiding but had not perfected their cloak, because I could still feel them. I know that my cloak was effective because even Michael could not find me when I hid from him there in the past. He floated straight past me almost touching my wings as he passed. I felt my wings flutter. But when I asked later he said he felt nothing of me there and did not believe me when I said I was.
The beings I felt were not hiding that well and their fear was tainting the clouds of mist. At times there was tangible fear in the mist. I have never felt that before coming from our kind other than Loki. It has perplexed me.
It was also much more crowded than it used to be. I guess because so many more humans have learnt how to spend time in the ethereal plane. I cannot blame you. It is beautiful. I just hope that you have learnt how to protect yourself while you are there. For dangers are always present in the ethereal plane. It is too close to the earth to be protected from the underworld. But the beings I felt weren’t hiding from the underworld figures. Beings of our nature can swat those creatures like flies. They pose no threat to us. So I am left to ponder just what they were hiding from and what could create such fear.
There seems to be so many more questions than answers. I feel my brothers searching for me. But I will not answer at least not yet. Not until at least I have more answers than questions.
The ethereal plane is addictive in my current state of identity. Almost like a high but so much more. I feel myself needing more and more. Perhaps the restrictions of human life are not what I want after all? But then I remind myself that there is so much more to humanity.
I am living over 8000 miles away from my human daughters and son so the temptation finally got too strong for me and I used my power to flit to them; cloaked of course. After all how could I explain how I was there otherwise? I got to see them and my grandchildren, just living their lives. It helped me to ground myself in my quest to remain human again. I find myself wishing I could share this with them but I will not put them in danger.
I have located all but two of the seven archangels and have been shadowing them. I have found Michael who was always so close to my heart. Much like the feelings a human would have for their brother. I miss our talks and recently even his lectures. He really is one of a kind. He is arrogant and bossy. He rarely smiles or shows any feelings for that matter. But when he does you will never forget it. For the moment Michael smiles at you it is etched into your mind, even our minds. It is one of the most beautiful things you can ever see and the emotional wash it creates is something none of your drugs could ever come close too.
Anyway I found him first in Eden. Yes it still exists just not on this plane. It is truly breathtakingly beautiful. The gardens of Eden never need to manicured they are always perfect. Each plant perfectly placed growing to the exact height needed. The plants follow seasons on earth, flowering and producing fruit accordingly. So depending on the season it could be in full bloom with flowers of every color and size imaginable or laden with fruit of every kind ever created. The waters are the color of a sapphire and flicker in the light and there is nothing more amazing than drinking from the spring in the center of Eden. It is how you humans put it heavenly.
Michael did not look like he was enjoying it. He looked almost defeated and so sad, just sitting watching the waterfall in the center garden. I did not reveal myself to him. Though I was sorely tempted as even I in my cloak could feel his pain and loneliness. The pull to my heart was so strong. But I knew I had to be careful especially if I wished to remain human. So I watched for a while and left him there by the water’s edge.
Michael has always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was the only one of us who seemed to be constantly in deep thought, even more than I did. But the pain I felt emanating from him; perhaps that weight is becoming too much even for the great Michael!
I wished I could sit with him and talk as we used to but for now I must leave him. I knew he was not completely alone
