money.
The water being poured into the glass represents information and data you are learning on the subject of money. Let’s say we are talking about “financial independence.” If your secretly embedded thought is that “I will never become financially independent,” then it’s quite simple. You will not. If your thought is, “I don’t have the time,” then you will not have the time.
No matter what information is poured into your glass, it has to pass through your context, or your filter, around money and financial independence. Like brewing coffee, the flow of information is filtered first through your thoughts, opinions, and beliefs before it lands in your glass. The information that does not match up with your core thoughts and beliefs around money will either be rejected or filtered out so that the information can be made to fit your context.
Your context, how you think about money and investing, is often more important than the actual content of investing information. All the data in the world will be of little value to you if your filters, your invisible thoughts, are at odds with your stated goals. When you change your context or thoughts to be supportive and aligned with your goals, then the invisible becomes visible.
How Do You Make the Invisible Visible?
It’s not difficult. The first thing is to begin to watch your thoughts. Listen to that little voice in your head. In 1985, a friend challenged me to “spend the next hour catching glimpses of your thoughts.” I did, and it changed my life. I had no idea how many self-defeating thoughts were floating around in that head of mine. I challenge you to do the same.
You may also want to write down your thoughts in a journal. When fear sets in, ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” and just start writing. Don’t think about what you’re writing. Don’t edit it. Don’t judge it. Just write. Write until you come to an aha, or realization. You’ll be amazed at how much clarity will come through.
Emotion
Your emotions are typically driven by your thoughts. For example, if someone says something very mean and hurtful to you, you will probably get upset because your thought may be that you would never speak so rudely to anyone. What if, on the other hand, you grew up in a society (or family) where really rude remarks were a sign of affection? If that were the case, instead of getting upset, you might actually feel loved. It all depends on your context, which is created by your thoughts.
The primary emotion that comes up for women around money is fear—fear of making a mistake, fear of losing money, fear of what other people might think. One of women’s greatest fears today is running out of money during retirement. It’s a bit of a Catch-22: One fear is the fear of not having the money to support us as we get older. The other fear is the fear of actually doing what we need to do so that we have that money as we get older. The thing we need to learn is that fear, and then breaking through that fear, is a tremendous catalyst for our own personal development.
I do not know of one woman investor who did not have some, or a lot of, fear in the early stages of her investing life. Even today, given how volatile and uncertain the economy is, I get nervous venturing into new areas of business and investing. It’s natural. The problem arises when the fear paralyzes you to the point that you do nothing because you are frozen in your tracks. Or you turn your financial responsibilities over to someone else because you fear making a mistake or losing money. Shelby Kearney of New York City learned that lesson the hard way.
I read Rich Dad Poor Dad and believed every word, but fear had me paralyzed from taking any action. However, a couple of years later, my boyfriend, who was a realtor, encouraged me to buy a duplex and a triplex. I felt he knew a lot about rental properties, and I was less fearful investing with someone I knew. He also offered to manage the properties for me so I turned over all management responsibilities to him and paid no attention to it.
Needless to say, both properties went into foreclosure because of mismanagement. I was able to sell one property, but lost the other. After that devastation, I knew I had to educate myself and not rely on anyone else’s judgment of a good deal or good management.
In the last few years, I have attended several seminars and read many books on real estate. I tried purchasing several four-plex properties in the Atlanta area, but either got out-bid by other buyers or discovered something unappealing during my due diligence. I figured it was a sign from God and turned my focus to Pennsylvania, which is much closer to where I live in New York City.
Earlier this year, I closed on a single-family property and a duplex in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. It’s been a long time coming, but I’m on my way and it feels soooo good!
Shelby got her lesson. Her solution to reducing her fear came from getting financially educated, trial and error, and then securing her two current properties. There will be no stopping her now.
Spirit
In times of pressure and emergency, you often see a woman’s spirit rise to the occasion. When there is a crisis in the family, such as a job loss or a home foreclosure, it is frequently the woman who will step up and do what needs to be done. Her natural instinct is to protect herself and her children. It is her spirit, not her mind, that takes over.
Our spirit also shows us that we are capable of achieving more than we would ever believe. It gives us strength, energy, and focus. There will be times throughout your financial journey when you will call upon your spirit to provide the courage and willpower to take that next step.
Here is a compelling poem about the power of spirit.
Will
You will be what you will to be;
Let failure find its false content
In that poor word, “environment,”
But spirit scorns it, and is free.
It masters time, it conquers space;
It cows that boastful trickster, Chance,
And bids the tyrant Circumstance,
Uncrown, and fill a servant’s place.
The human Will, that force unseen,
The offspring of a deathless Soul,
Can hew a way to any goal,
Though walls of granite intervene.
Be not impatient in delay,
But wait as one who understands;
When spirit rises and commands,
The gods are ready to obey.
The river seeking for the sea
Confronts the dam and precipice,
Yet knows it cannot fail or miss;
You will be what you will to be!
— Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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