reached her and kissed her.
Danielle’s eyes held mine for a moment, then went closed in the embrace.
I looked away, you know, to give ‘em some privacy. Or really me, because these two were forever fucking in front of everyone.
I dropped the smoke butt, ground it out with the toe of my shoe.
When I looked back up, Danielle was staring at me over Terry’s shoulder, her eyes dark and amused and not entirely her own.
10 | Not How I Meant It
Terry’s eyes lit up at the sight of it. “Wow,” they said. “What is it?”
“It’s a bunch of old music,” I said. “You know, songs.”
Terry smiled and held it. “Thank you.”
Danielle was smiling, too, but looking agitated. “That’s great. Thanks for outdoing me on Terry’s birthday. I appreciate that.”
“Aw, come on,” I said. “You know that’s not how I meant it. I just saw it and thought of Terry. That’s all.”
Swear to God, that’s all.
But that seemed to make it mean even more to Terry.
Danielle saw that, too, and went heavy in the eyes.
“C’mon,” I said, “let’s go drink by the pool.”
Terry put lips to Danielle’s cheek, then whispered into her ear.
“Yeah, okay,” Danielle said. “We can go get wet. It’s cool.”
“There’s a girl,” I said.
We stood up and walked that way.
“Is Mickie comin’?” Terry asked.
“Yeah. She’s a got a thing she has to do, but she’ll be here later.”
“I got some shit to cook tonight,” Danielle said. “I know she’s been into that.”
I laughed. Mickie trying to cook was pretty funny. Sweet and funny and a little bit sad.
But Danielle thought I was laughing at her. “What? I can fuckin’ cook, bitch.”
“Huh? No, I know that. I was thinking about Mickie.”
“Oh ... yeah, no offense, but she sucks at it.”
“Well she’s new to it,” I said. I couldn’t cook at all then. My sister taught me later, but I had zero interest then. Didn’t know why Mickie did. Not really her style. But she would catch interests from time to time.
After a while of swimming, I heard, “Hey!”
“Hey,” I said to Mickie as she put her arms over my shoulders. “I’m glad to see you again.”
“You always say that,” she said. “It makes me feel weird.”
That made me feel weird. “Weird how?”
“I dunno. Like you think you might not see me again.”
“Well, I do worry that I might not see you again.”
She cocked her head. “Why? You lookin’ at someone else?”
“What? No! God, no.”
“What then?”
“I dunno … I worry you won’t want to see me again.”
She smiled, long teeth made bare. “You don’t have to worry about that.”
“I don’t?”
She shook her head. “Uh-uh. Not now, not ever.”
Then she leaned in, turned her head.
I did, too, and we put our lips together, softly, slowly.
“I love you,” she said.
“I love you,” I said.
Danielle leaned in next to us, her tongue moving around in the air as she made slurping noises.
We stopped kissing.
Mickie looked at me, then Danielle, then smiled.
“Stop it, asshole,” I said.
Danielle laughed. “You’re so sensitive. C’mon, let’s get shitty and fuck in the pool.”
Mickie and I walked hand in hand behind Danielle to the pool.
Mickie stopped me. “Hey.”
“Yeah?”
She cupped my face. “I love you.”
I felt my heart open up, but it buckled. “Yeah,” I said. “I heard you before.”
I saw something shift in her eyes. “Yeah. Rad. Let’s get shitty, then, I guess.”
She let go of my hand and walked over to the pitchers of booze and plates of chems.
“Mickie,” I said. “C’mon, that’s not how I meant it.”
But she didn’t look back. She just loaded up on the good shit, the best bad shit we could get our hands on.
11 | Heard Without Listening
The equipment was not cooperating. Neither was I.
Horace lit up a smoke. “I think it’s shot.”
“Fix it,” I said.
His eyebrows went up, which was his way of telling me he didn’t think he could.
“Just do it. We go on in, like, five minutes.”
He shrugged amidst the smoke. “Yeah, all right. See what I can do, see what I can do.”
Rabbit leaned against the wall, drunk.
“Dude, can you play?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yep. I’m good.”
“You’re sure?”
He gave a thumbs up that he’s sure.
I wasn’t sure.
Danielle leaned into a conversation with three girls, all of whom looked kina young. She was batting her eyes and smiling and shit.
Tij was freaking out. “I can’t find a stick that’s not
