I said.
“Yeah. She’s trouble.”
I heard it, but I wasn’t really listening.
12 | All Over Again
I walked from the bay over to the house where the pool party was goin’ on. Danielle and Terry were making out on one of those long beach chairs. Danielle’s got her shirt off.
The stone path wound by the pool, past Penguin and Roxy, who were tongue kissing in the shallow end.
Horace popped out from the flexible fielded porch, just off the kitchen. “Anyone want margaritas? ‘Cause I’m making fucking margaritas. Got fresh limes and everything. Fresh limes.”
I smiled. “I’ll take one.”
“Well, I know you want one. Here ya go.” Horace gave me a drink. “Kick it back.”’
“It’s a fuckin’ daiquiri.”
“No, it’s a margarita.”
I shrugged. “Whatever. It’s gonna take a minute. Chems in here?”
“Like you like. Gonna be a ride for everybody else.”
I looked around at who was there. Penguin. Roxy. Danielle. Terry. Johnette, who was looking fine in her bathing suit by the diving board, feet in the water. The Reptile was supposed to stop by later. I hoped he wouldn’t. We’d had a kind of falling out.
“Yeah, I think they’ll be fine,” I said. “This is a ramblin’ crew here, my brother.”
Horace sipped from the pitcher.
“Ew. Use a glass.”
“What? It’s sterile. Chems kill everything.”
“So are you gonna talk to Jonnie tonight?” I asked.
Horace went pale. “I dunno. I dunno.”
“If you don’t, I will.”
“She’s your friend.”
“Yeah, but she likes you. Least I think she does. You gotta at least try to open up, Horace …”
“I’m still fucked up over Wendy,” Horace said.
“I get it. But keeping sad about it isn’t gonna help. Trust me. I know.”
He looked in the glass, at the lime floating in the slush. Then he took a big gulp, put the whole thing back. He wiped the dribble from his chin. “Yeah. You’re right. Here I go, here I go.”
I nodded. “Good. Just try. It’ll be okay.”
He nodded again and walked chin-first over to Johnette.
She smiled up at him, patted the spot next to her on the edge of the pool.
I took a sip of the drink, felt that old familiar in my chest.
I knew the inside of the house well. The spiraled rooms and the hall of hallways. The bathrooms. I’d been going there since I was eleven, even though Horace’s grandparents fucking hated me. I went in the hall bathroom, locked the door, and started crying.
Mickie flooded my mind. My failing nerves surged with memories of her. I let my hands remember her, too. But it wasn’t me I was seeing with her. I tried to force them out of my mind, but I couldn’t.
I heard a knock at the door.
“Yeah?”
“It’s me. Horace. It’s Horace. Are you, um, you know … busy?”
I wiped my face. “It’s a bathroom, Horace. I’m in it. So, yeah?”
“Right. Right. Well, Mickie’s here.”
“What?”
“Yeah. She’s here.”
“Like, at the house here? Or at the door standing right next to you here?”
“No! No! She’s outside talking to Danielle and Terry.”
“Okay. Just gimme a second. I’ll be right out.”
“Okay.”
I could tell he’s still there.
“Horace?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m okay. Thanks for telling me, okay?”
“Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I’m around if you need me. With Johnette.”
“How’s that goin’?”
“Great. Great. She’s still fucked up over Trout, but you know, I’m still fucked up over Wendy. So, there’s that. There’s that.”
“Right on. I’ll be out in a minute. Okay?”
“Sure sure. See you out there.”
I dried my eyes, washed my hands, and went back out to the pool.
Yeah, and there she was, looking calm and happy and talking to Danielle and Terry. Terry, who caught sight of me first. Tried to hide it, but not before Mickie looked where Terry was looking.
Our eyes met there by the blue of pool, and our little galaxy exploded to life all over again.
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