But For A Penis…. Welby Thomas Cox, Jr.

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to Paris, to inform the French King.

       The King of France himself was also gravely ill at that time, suffering from dysentery from which he seemed unlikely to recover. Presenting a solemn and dignified manner to the grieving Aquitainian messengers, upon their departure he became overjoyed, stammering in delight. Rather than act as guardian to the Duchess and Duchy, he decided, he would marry the Duchess to his heir, and bring Aquitaine under the French crown, thereby greatly increasing the power and prominence of France and the Capets. Within hours Louis had arranged for his son, Prince Louis, to be married to Eleanor. Abbot Suger was charged with arranging the wedding.

       Prince Louis was sent to Bordeaux with an escort of 500 knights. He arrived in Bordeaux on 11 July and the next day, accompanied by the Archbishop of Bordeaux, the couple was married in the cathedral of Saint-André in Bordeaux. It was a magnificent ceremony with almost a thousand guests. The land would remain independent of France, and Eleanor's oldest son would be both King of France and Duke of Aquitaine. Her holdings would not therefore be merged with France until the next generation.

       Eleanor was not popular with the French who were, to put it as generously as possible, at an earler stage of civilisation. They were not accustomed to string minded and highly educated women, let alone pretty young ones. Her conduct was repeatedly criticised by Church leaders such as Bernard of Clairvaux and Abbot Suger. The King, however, was madly in love with his beautiful and worldly bride, and granted her every whim, even though her behaviour baffled and troubled him.

       Though Louis was a pious man he came into conflict with Pope Innocent II. In 1141, the archbishopric of Bourges became vacant. The king put forward a candidate one of his chancellors, Cadurc, and vetoed another candidate, Pierre de la Chatre. Pierre was promptly elected by the canons of Bourges and consecrated by the Pope. Louis bolted the gates of Bourges against the new Bishop. The Pope, recalling a similar incident in Poitou under William X, blamed Eleanor. He also observed that Louis was only a child and should be taught manners. Affronted, Louis swore upon holy relics that, so long as he lived, Pierre should never enter Bourges. This brought an interdict upon the king's lands.

       Pierre de la Chatre was given refuge by Count Theobald II of Champagne, which did not endear him to Louis. Before long Louis was involved in a war with Count Theobald of Champagne. Louis had permitted Raoul I of Vermandoisand (seneschal of France) to repudiate his wife, Theobald's niece, Leonora so that he could marry Eleanor's sister (Petronilla). Eleanor urged Louis to support her sister's marriage to Raoul of Vermandois. This war lasted from 1142 to 1144 and ended with the occupation of Champagne by the royal army. Louis was personally involved in the assault and burning of the town of Vitry. More than a thousand people who had sought refuge in the church died in the flames. Desiring an end to the war, Louis made peace with Theobald, who agreed to support the lifting of the interdict on Raoul and Petronilla. It was duly lifted and Theobald's lands were restored to him. But now Raoul refused to repudiate Petronilla, prompting Louis to return to the Champagne and ravage it again. Peace was restored later that year. Theobald's provinces were once again returned and Pierre de la Chatre was installed as Archbishop of Bourges.

       In 1145, Eleanor gave birth to a daughter, Marie.

       Louis, still burned with guilt over the massacre at Vitry-le-Brule, and wanted to make a Pilgrimage to the Holy Land to atone for his sins. In the Autumn of 1145, Pope Eugenius requested Louis to lead a Crusade to the Middle East. Louis declared on Christmas Day 1145 at Bourges his intention of going on a crusade.

       Eleanor as well as Louis took up the cross during a sermon preached by Bernard of Clairvaux. She insisted on taking part in the Crusades as the feudal leader of the soldiers from her duchy. Her launch of the Second Crusade from Vézelay, the rumoured location of Mary Magdalene´s burial, emphasised the role of women in the campaign. In Constantinople, Eleanor was much admired. She was compared with Penthesilea, the mythical queen of the Amazons, by the Greek historian Nicetas Choniates.

       From the moment the Crusaders entered Asia Minor, the Crusade went badly. The Crusade itself would achieve little. Louis was a weak and ineffectual military leader with no concept of strategy, tactics, troop discipline or morale.

       Louis started off optimistically. He had been preceded by the German Emperor Conrad who Louis thought had won a great victory against a Moslem army. As Louis camped near Nicea, the sad remnants of the German army, including Emperor Conrad, straggled into the French camp, bringing news of their disaster. The French, with what remained of the Germans, then made off, back towards Antioch. Louis decided to cross the Phrygian mountains directly, in the hope of speeding his arrival in antioch where they would find refuge with Eleanor's uncle, Raymond II of Tripoli, in Antioch. As they ascended the mountains, they past the unburied corpses of the previously slaughtered German army.

       On the day set for the crossing of Mount Cadmos, Louis chose to take charge of the rear of the column, where the unarmed pilgrims and the baggage trains marched. The vanguard, with which Queen Eleanor marched, was commanded by her Aquitainian vassal, Geoffrey de Rancon; this, being unencumbered by baggage, managed to reach the summit of Cadmos, where de Rancon had been ordered to make camp for the night. De Rancon however chose to march further, deciding in concert with the Count of Maurienne (Louis´ uncle) that a nearby plateau would make a better camp. As the army was divided in two, the Turks attacked, took the strategic mountain peak and happily set about massacring yet another army of incompetents. The King was saved by his own lack of presence , having scorned a King's apparel in favor of a simple solder's tunic, he escaped notice. As one chronicler noted, while his bodyguards were having their skulls smashed open, Louis "nimbly and bravely scaled a rock by making use of some tree roots which God had provided for his safety,".

       Eleanor paid for Louis' incompetence. Geoffrey de Rancon, who had made the decision to continue beyond the peak, was Eleanor's vassal. Worse, the Aquitainians had been in the vanguard which had escaped the massacre. And worse yet hostile Church chroniclers soon found a new excuse: the baggage train had been slow because of all of the finery carried for Eleanor and her ladies. In any case the remainder of the army continued to Antioch.

       While in the eastern Mediterranean, Eleanor learned about maritime conventions developing there, she introduced those conventions in her own lands, on the island of Oleron in 1160 and later in England as well - the beginnings of what would become Admiralty law. She was also instrumental in developing trade agreements with Constantinople and trade ports of in the Holy Lands.

       Even before the Crusade, Eleanor and Louis were becoming estranged. Eleanor's reputation was further tarnished by an alleged affair with her uncle, Raymond, Prince of Antioch. The city of Antioch had been annexed by Bohemond of Hauteville in the First Crusade, and it was now ruled by Eleanor's flamboyant uncle Raymond who had gained the principality by marrying its reigning Princess, Constance of Antioch. Eleanor supported her uncle Raymond's desire to re-capture the nearby County of Edessa, the cause of the Crusade; in addition, having been close to him in their youth, she now showed conspicuous affection towards her uncle. Historians today dismiss this as familial affection, noting their early friendship, and his similarity to her father and grandfather, but at the time hostile Church chronicler believed, or at least reported, that the two were involved in an incestuous and adulterous affair.

       Louis was directed by the Church to visit Jerusalem instead. When Eleanor (allegedly) declared her intention to stay with Raymond along with her Aquitaine forces, Louis had her brought out by force. His long march to Jerusalem and back north debilitated his army, and her imprisonment disheartened her knights. Divided Crusade armies could not overcome the Muslim forces. At the insistence of Church leaders, who were even more incompetent than Louis, the Crusade leaders targeted Damascus, an ally until the attack. Failing,

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