that fetch us larger rewards.
How does one cultivate the act of positive self-talks?
Studies on positive thinking have shown that people who think positively have superior stress-coping skills, a tougher and stronger immunity, and a lower risk for heart-related diseases. While positive thinking is not a health solution or alternative to drugs and medication, ruminating on negative thoughts cannot benefit your overall mental well-being in any way as taking an optimistic view would. Changing the direction of our thoughts is not as hard as it sounds. It takes effort, just like every other thing we grew up learning. There was a time when, as toddlers, eating properly with cutlery was a chore. Then came more challenging activities like learning to walk and learning how to write. With persistence, these things became a larger part of us, and we got better at them, and we don’t need to activate a consciousness to use the skills we got from those early years of difficulty. The same goes for positive self-talks. It requires an effort from us which we must painstakingly be committed to doing and carrying out.
Here are three things we can do to imbibe the culture of positive self-talks:
Pay attention to your inner voice.Taking time each day to listen, write down, and meditate what we’re thinking should be a daily ritual we adopt, as it is an integral part of the positive self-talk process.It is imperative for us to notice what our inner voice is saying because taking a conscious note of the things we say in our minds is the first step in improving our self-talks.
Engage your self-talk. Engaging our self-talks to probe its intent can help shape and hone our perspective to seeing the positive in all things. The age-old “half-empty or half-full” glass question can tell you a great deal about your outlook on life, your attitude toward self, and whether you're optimistic or pessimistic.I would even suggest choosing your words carefully. When you tell yourself, something is "difficult" or "unfair," it will probably become a drag to have to deal with it. Instead, tell yourself it's a "challenge" or a "test."We should constantly endeavor to ask ourselves things like:• Is this a positive way of looking at this?• Is everything in perspective?• What can I do to change what I’m feeling bad about?
Change your self-talk. Counter your negative thoughts with positive ones. It is not as easy as it sounds, but persistence will make it a part of you. It is widely accepted that it takes twenty-one days for us to learn anything, and Josh Kaufman has proved in his TED TALK that it takes twenty hours for anything to be learned. It’s better to ask yourself if there’s anything that will aid you to do any task that appears difficult than resign to the easy way out, which is saying, “I’d never be able to do this.”
According to Carol S. Dweck, speaking with a fixed mindset inhibits progress and creativity. There are words that put a positive spin on hard-hitting situations; those are words you should always use.
2. Switch off Negative Thoughts.
It does not happen overnight. It takes constant practice and unflinching dedication to get rid of negative thoughts. It takes being aware and being familiar with the way our mind works to learn to shun negative thoughts. Whenever we are overwhelmed by our emotions, it is often a strong projection of the myriads of negative thoughts bundled within our minds.
Indubitably, it will not be easy to make a shift if you have an extensive history of negative self-talk. Your present self-talk became damaging over the years due to various factors. For the sake of illustration, consider a Math teacher who incessantly tells a five-year-old girl that she is “dumb. That child will believe it to be truly the case. Her inner voice would always be filled with debilitating self-talks ranging from “I am not smart” to “I can’t be an engineer” to “I hate calculations.” If you ceaselessly tell yourself such negative stories, you unconsciously affirm the thoughts and it becomes your reality. Consequently, your actions are going to reflect your low self-worth. It will not be easy getting very far if you are always putting yourself down.
No one ever made it far by telling themselves they cannot. The “I can” chant helps to dissolve every negativity. Staying off the negative radar is staying true to the “I can do it” chant. Switching off negative thoughts is a deliberate act, and there are ways we can get rid of the triggers and set our thoughts on a positive course.
Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results. — Willie Nelson
Proceed by deliberately identifying the kind of internal discourse you utilize daily. We all have one; which is yours?
Take a mental journal of the pessimistic phrases you utilize at the close of the day.
What triggers it? Paying close attention to the times when you make use of those pessimistic words again can help you identify what triggers them. Could it be that work demands are piling up? Is home the mouth of a shark, in Warsan Shire’s words? Are finances suddenly and steadily nosediving? Are remarks from friends getting in the way of your sanity?
Take note of who you are with, the approximate time of day, where you are, and what you're feeling. You need to be in the moment.
As you see yourself saying something negative in your psyche, you can stop your idea midstream by saying to yourself (or in your mind), "Quit!" Saying this so anyone might hear will be even more effective, and saying it out loud will make you more mindful of how often and where you are ceasing negative considerations. Saying “cancel” whenever you think negatively also helps in coordinating your thoughts and keeping it on the positive radar. A healthy mind is a healthy life, and a healthy life is a life brimming with positive thoughts.
Now, burrow where it counts inside yourself and reconsider your presumptions. Is it necessary to assume negatively of an event when it’s not the case? Stop, reevaluate, and check whether you can think of an unbiased or positive substitution. Case: Notice the distinction between revealing to yourself that you can't deal with something and asking yourself how you will deal with something. Doesn't the latter make you feel more confident and prompt greater innovativeness?
As you notice yourself saying something negative in your mind, you can stop your thought midstream by saying to yourself (or in your head), "Stop!" Saying this aloud will be more powerful and having to say it aloud will make you more aware of how many times you are stopping negative thoughts and where.
3. Use Words That Evoke Strength and Success.
To get rid of a bad odor, we must introduce a stronger scent to dispel it. We open the faucet of air and unhinge the knobs that traps the smell and we watch it disappear. It’s the same way to go about using powerful words that seek to change our lives.
Reviews condition people. At the end of the day, a lot of human minds are malleable. They can be easily shaped with strong words.
— Drake
Nasir Bin Oludara is a rapper whose first album many consider to be the best in Hip-Hop, and one of his popular songs is a song called “I Can.” Growing up as a kid, the song was one of the many songs that gave me an assurance that I could be anything I want to be. The way to turn our doubts into beliefs is to have an arsenal of powerful words that helps us deal with negative situations.
The power of words should never be underestimated. The best of scientists became great because someone told them they were not as dull as people had made them believe. Albert Einstein is one valid example. The movie Like Stars on Earth shows us how far a child can go when we let them know
