we haven’t completely armed ourselves with the educational tools to help ease anxiety and stress. Though experiential knowledge is a more powerful tool than mere semantics, it’s through semantic knowledge that we find ourselves more fully equipped for the surprises that will surely arise. The more we know, the less stressed we will be. The more educated we are on the processes of delivery, the less likely we will be duped into an unwanted birth story. Though it’s indeed true that one can never fully prepare for the surprises labor brings (even with multiple deliveries), the more we know, the better we can fight for what we want and help ensure the best possible start for ourselves and our babies.
This foundation will indeed set the stage for the next phase of our lives. How we prepare for pregnancy will directly impact the pregnancy. How we prepare for birth will directly impact the outcome (keeping in mind anomalies when extreme measures are needed). The stronger the space we build our dynasty, the more impactful that dynasty will be. Our familial empires will be better off the more we arm ourselves with the educational tools to thrive.
It’s time we take back our birthright and rewrite the narrative surrounding our power, capabilities and the extreme care that we as mothers need alongside our newborn babies. It’s time to take control of our own births, desires and honest feelings in this moment. The time has come where we can shed the guilt of our insecurities and empower each other through shared knowledge and truth.
During your read, you’ll learn the basics to help guide you through your pregnancy. Subsequent chapters are merely introductions to the varied topics of motherhood and are intended to spark your curiosity and encourage you along the way. With so much fragmented information in regards to motherhood, this book is set to offer a one-stop shop on the essentials you’ll need to build your armor. Through expert advice and personal experience, this book is intended to give you hope and calmness that will peacefully guide your start, restart, midway point or rebirth of your journey as a mom.
Chapter 2
The hardest fight of one’s life is actually being born. We have all of our eggs for our life’s entirety at 20 weeks in utero (yes girl, you read that right). Essentially, before we leave our mother’s womb, we are already harboring our future offspring. The beauty and fantastical reality of such a revelation is majestic indeed. When the time is right, in order for an egg to fertilize in the fallopian tube, it needs a single sperm
(just one of the roughly 14 million released by the male with each ejaculation) to do so at a precise moment in time.
During ovulation, after a single mature egg is released from one of your ovaries, it waits in the fallopian tube for about 24 hours — hence, why many women monitor their ovulation timeline. The point here is how special that moment in time is and how precious the occurrence of one single sperm fertilizing one specific egg that has been in your body since before you were born actually is. This insanely hostile trip the sperm makes is a fight to the finish. All of this typically occurs on average about two weeks after your last period and if the egg does not get fertilized it makes its way through the uterus and disintegrates (cue menstruation).
This quick walk down memory lane from grade school is meant to offer a fresh perspective on just how special and selective this moment is.
It’s pressing to note that, regardless of how hard the journey into motherhood can be, we remember that we were made winners from the very beginning. Only the strongest survived the fertilization process and you were the selection. It’s time we start acting like the winners we were destined to become. Part of that winning strategy is walking in our greatness and owning our power right here, right now. There were an infinite number of DNA combinations you could have been born with — and here you are. You are special and so is your baby, no matter how many times they make you throw up each day during your pregnancy (and maybe even in labor!).
There is only one you and, as we begin to plant empowered seeds in our minds which emit energy and vibrations into the universe, it’s critical that we focus solely on the things that we want during our journey into and throughout motherhood — versus the fears of what we don’t want. It’s essential that we believe in the neuroplasticity of our minds — the ability to change and evolve our belief systems through our experiences at any point in our lives. The more new experiences we have, the stronger our propensity to learn. The more we learn, the more we realize that we have so much more to learn.
Our introduction (or reintroduction) into motherhood does just that for us. This beautifully terrifying moment is one that has the capacity to better the rest of our lives, should we choose that perspective. Should we choose happiness and excitement and embrace the joys (and struggles) of pregnancy, the more likely we are to carry forth those feelings into the rest of our lives.
If you’re not already pregnant, but in the stages of simply learning about motherhood beforehand, then congratulations on having an exceptional head start. You’ll be able to learn about varied topics surrounding pregnancy and the nuances that often go overlooked by mainstream conversation. With approximately 90% of Millennial moms (which in the next decade will account for 80% of all new moms) sharing personal stories and information online, women are more inclined to expose the truths of pregnancy.
The beauty of this new desire to share so much inspiration is that we will be encouraged to learn more about our bodies versus relying on others to dictate the appropriate direction for us. If you are immersed in the journey already, your timing is still perfect! Wherever you are, it’s never too late to educate yourself further or embrace changes in your current approach to various areas of your experience.
Healthy living is imperative to all of our choices and that health goes beyond simply what we eat. It’s inclusive of who we surround ourselves with, where we decide to take our bodies, the atmosphere we create during pregnancy and labor — things that effect our mental states of being. And these choices can have a direct impact on our bodies during each phase of pregnancy. Trimesters are the three divided phases in which pregnancy creates significant changes in our bodies. Whereas the most accepted notion of a “normal” pregnancy constitutes 40 weeks, full term is anywhere between 38-42 weeks of gestation. Though there isn’t one set standard which dictates each trimester, they are usually defined as follows:
First Trimester: Typically, the time of conception through week 12 or 13 (1-3 months)
Second Trimester: Typically, week 14 through week 27 (4-7 months)
Third Trimester: Typically, week 28 through week 40 (7-9 months)
Each trimester comes with its own set of hurdles, joys, adversities, bodily and emotional changes. Being physically, mentally and spiritually fit prior to conception is ideal for optimum results in pregnancy (taking into account anomalies of course). But the beauty of it all, is that wherever you are in your journey, it’s never too late to work towards discovering and becoming your best self.
So — let’s begin!
Chapter 3
Roughly one in four women experience miscarriages in our motherhood journeys. While millions of women are impacted by the psychological trauma that can stem from it, when it happens to you, it’s possible to feel completely alone. Even in knowing that you aren’t alone in your experience, it can be hard to find the right support system — those who can find the right way in which to empower your fragile, and possibly broken, heart and soul.
