to find the right time all week.” He fidgeted with his watch, turning it on his wrist. Then shyly glancing at Marcie, he asked, “Marcie, would you be my exclusive girl, go steady with me, go only with me and no one else?”
Without hesitation and so thrilled I could scarcely get my breath, I replied, “Oh, Brian, of course I will. You’re the only person I want to date, the only guy I want to be with.”
“And I only want you, Marcie.” He hugged me tightly for a long moment. “I’m so glad you agreed. Now you are my girl–you belong only to me.”
I had felt I was already Brian’s exclusive girl since neither one of us dated anyone else, but I was glad Brian wanted to make it official. Going steady meant he would give me his miniature gold football to wear on a chain around my neck. I had always envied the other girls in school who dated football players and had gold footballs dangling down the front of their sweaters.
The gold footballs were given to the players as a token of their contribution to the football team, and the guys always gave them to their steady girls. Soon I would have one, and how proud I will be to wear it!
The song, “Because Of You,” was softly playing over the radio. “Let’s listen to the words.” I whispered. Snuggling closer to Brian. “Because of you there’s a song in my heart...,” the singer crooned. “The moon and stars will say you’re mine, forever and never to part.”
“That’s such a beautiful song. Let’s have it for Our Song,Brian. Whenever we hear it we can remember the night here on this river bank when we agreed to belong only to each other.”
“I do like that song, and the words describe our feelings. It will be Our Song, and no matter where I am, I will think of you, Marcie, when I hear it played, even years from now when we are old and gray and still in love.”
“Brian, do you know what soul mates are?”
“No, I don’t think I do.”
“Soul mates are two people who connect in their relationship, their feelings, their desires, in a way they could not connect with anyone else. When true soul mates find each other, they experience completeness, a warmth and joy that stays with them for their whole lives. Their relationship is very harmonious, each feeling what the other does about most things, and especially about their commitment and love for each other. Actually, it is rare for people to find their soul mates; only a lucky few do. Sometimes soul mates meet but, for one reason or another, their lives go in different directions, ending with each making a life with someone else. However, the memory of their soul mate is carried always in their hearts, and all those old feelings can be brought to the surface by a song, a fragrance, by many things.”
“How do you know all of that? That’s not something you learn in school.”
“I read about it in a magazine before we started dating. I was intrigued by what the article said and wondered if I would be one of the lucky ones to meet my soul mate. We can’t be sure we are soul mates; maybe we’re too young to know. I guess only time will tell. Do you think we are, Brian?”
“What you just said could describe our feelings right now, but as you said, maybe it’s too early to know. I just know that you mean a lot to me, Marcie, that I like to be with you, and I hope those feelings continue.”
We lay back on the cool ground, enjoying the nearness of our bodies. Rarely were we alone together since we didn’t drive, and my brother and sister were usually around the house somewhere when we were there. Our love making consisted merely of heavy kissing with our bodies close together. Those limited contacts had awakened longings deep within us.
Lying on the bank that night after Brian asked me to be his steady girl, our kisses ignited new fires. We became more passionate, and a feeling of excitement pierced through my body from my chest to my groin. Brian’s hands began to roam over my body. Suddenly, a warning bell seemed to go off inside my head.
“Brian, we can’t do this.” I jumped up, straightening myself with shaking hands.
“We can, Marcie. It feels so good. Your skin is as soft as satin, and I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Brian, but I cannot do this. I’m afraid of the consequences; you know where this could lead.”
I sat up and began to nervously wring my hands. “There is something I must tell you. It’s something I’ve tried to put out of my mind but can’t seem to do completely. My cousin, Sarah, who used to live next door, became pregnant in high school and had to go away and have the baby. These feelings we are having tonight could get out of control. I don’t want what happened to my cousin to happen to me.”
The memory of all the agony my aunt and cousin had suffered that year came rushing back to me. I had always been close to Sarah. We were almost like sisters, although we were four years apart. Often Sarah would stay overnight with us. When we were small she would read to me and my brother and sister and play games with us. She became a very special person in our lives. I began to notice a tension between Sarah and her mother. In fact, Sarah seemed to have changed. She seemed quiet and withdrawn and so sad. Often her eyes would be red and swollen. Also, she was gaining weight.
One evening I asked my mother if she had noticed the change in Sarah, and my mother told me Sarah was pregnant and would soon be going away to have the baby. She briefly explained Sarah’s situation and how she was going to give the baby up for adoption.
Not long after that, Sarah did go away, and my mother and I later visited her at the Home For Unwed Mothers. Never would I forget that experience! There were young girls in various stages of pregnancy sitting or walking around. Some were embroidering or knitting, others were reading, many just staring. I had imprinted upon my mind the sad and forlorn look in their eyes. They had been rejected, pushed aside to suffer together or alone. They had no way out; abortion was unlawful and unacceptable by most. Their faces would haunt me for years; I was permanently affected by the experience.
“Brian, when I visited Sarah during her pregnancy, I silently pledged I would not let myself get in her position. What we’re doing now may very well have the same dire result.”
“Okay, Honey. It’s just that I love you so much and it feels so right.” I could tell Brian was trying his best to put aside the strong feelings churning inside him, both emotional and physical. He wanted to be understanding of my worries and concerns.
“Brian, do you realize this is the first time we have said we love each other?”
“Yes, its, the first time we’ve said it, but I’ve felt it since our first kiss.” Brian planted a soft little kiss on my nose.
“I will always love you, Brian, forever and ever,” I whispered, with a sincerity that came from deep within my heart. We kissed a long and undemanding kiss and then walked back to my house.
“I’ll see you in school tomorrow, and before long I’ll have my gold football to give you. I love you, Marcie. Good-night, Sweetheart.”
“I love you, too, Brian. Be careful walking down those dark streets.” I waved as Brian started down the street in a run.
Every day Brian and I either saw each other or talked on the phone. He was constantly in my thoughts. I wrote his name again and again in my books and spent hours going over every detail of the times we were together. My heart was full of love for him. One Sunday afternoon I was lying on my bed listening to the radio. The song, “They Tried To Tell Us We’re Too
