we learn the personal skills and tools needed to develop strong, positive human relationships. Because we have practiced skills in a safe, democratic place, we are empowered to try them on our own.
Helen Harris Perlman in her book, Relationship: The Heart of Helping People4 calls groups a “relationship laboratory” where individuals may practice new behaviors in a safe environment. The group helps individuals learn how these new behaviors may lead to better relationships because of how others react. The group demonstrates such behaviors during its interactions so individuals learning new behaviors can see them modeled. The group promotes more acceptable and appropriate behaviors, so new members and those without such experiences learn what works.
When we incorporated social group work into programs serving predominantly African American children and adults, we knew we had similar issues to address as those settlement houses faced with immigrants. Even though African Americans have been in this country for hundreds of years, they are a people still not welcomed into “the group”. Helping low income, African American children and adults process acceptable and appropriate behaviors for school, work, on the street and in the home improved our neighbors’ chance of successfully navigating white culture. This was the kind of work we hoped would improve the chances for social mobility among our neighbors.
Through our contacts with children and families, we realized there needed to be group activities which would socialize children to school and home. Building strength in their decision-making, relationships with their peers and reasonable obedience to adult expectations would be the experience of youth groups. We knew “play is the work of children”5 and learning which was fun would teach social skills. The ability to wait their turn, share their crayons or markers, follow directions, listen to their peers and successfully interact with adults was the only way children could succeed in school and help create a better home environment for overly stressed or working parents. Group work with children and adolescents had the ultimate goal of creating good citizenship so youth could grow into the world; a world which often kept them apart.
For adults, the goal of group work was to create a different path helping neighbors consider and overcome the fear and isolation caused by poverty. We wanted African American adults to understand certain societal expectations and increase social mobility. Part of the reason poverty affects so many African Americans is the white culture does not allow participation in developing these social norms. African American families are segregated by housing, income, schools and prejudice. They are kept from seeing and participating in what is thought of as mainstream
Social groups like the MIDTOWN Mamas and Men’s Club gave neighbors a chance to interact with their peers in a safe and protected group. Staff ensured there would be no judgment of others, no personalities allowed to dominate and openness to differences. Participants had a chance to learn to accept others-- whether their ability to develop relationships with other people was adequate or not. Staff stressed “together we build a peaceful community”. People learned; in groups we did not have to compete with each other over scarce resources, working together we would create more than enough for everybody.
The use of social group work was the most important component of our work. The intentionality of each group and all the activities involved were what allowed us to build individual relationships with our neighbors. These ongoing positive relationships were what led to a stronger community—a community where diversity of experiences fostered growth.
I cannot sit idly by in Atlanta and not be concerned
about what happens in Birmingham.
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality
tied in a single garment of destiny.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Letter from a Birmingham City Jail
COMMUNITY ORGANIZING AND SOCIAL ACTION
Community organizing and social action have historically been a part of social work, even when the field does not recognize it as so. Community organizing works to help groups of people address unfairness and inequities in societal institutions. The macro level includes public action—such as the March on Washington. The meso level deals with community issues such as housing development and gentrification. The micro level may be getting a stop sign placed at a dangerous corner on your block. This is how St. Louis aldermen most often respond to community complaints—by creating more stop signs than any other city its size and the famous St. Louis roll.
The organizer helps people who are ready and able to improve their block, neighborhood or community. The worker helps when a few residents or organizations have found issues. The group discovers its goals and identifies leadership with guidance from the organizer. The organizer supports but does not direct the group’s goals. Often, the organizer brings their connections and experiences with power and institutions to the group. To help people learn techniques for addressing the influence and control such entities may exert against their goals, the worker speaks to their experiences. The role of the organizer is one of support, information-gathering, dissemination of decisions, practical application of methods, and insuring a democratic process.
At MIDTOWN, there were no plans to become involved in community organizing. Our main focus was helping people learn to do their best in the extremely difficult circumstances of poverty and racism. However, the people in the neighborhoods got us going. In two neighborhoods, threatened by gentrification, neighbors asked us to help ensure they would be part of the process, beneficiaries of positive changes and not be forced to move. I agreed to help, even though we did not have a community organizer on staff. I needed to share one very important truth with our neighbors asking for help--I did not think we could win against the organizations promoting redevelopment. People trusted us enough, after years of services, programs and home visits, to believe we would stand with them. However, I didn’t think neighbors knew what we would be fighting for and who we would be fighting against.
Only he who learns to love one by one reaches,
in his relation to heaven,
God as the God of all the world…
For he learns to love the God of the universe,
the God who loves his work,
only in the measure in which
he himself learns to love the world.
Martin Buber
We are each of us angels with only one wing.
And we can only fly embracing one another.
Laceano de Crescenzo
RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING
The one connecting piece in our approach was relationship building. Everything we did was done to build positive relationships with our neighbors. There were many reasons for this, including overcoming the superficial difference of race, and the real differences of class and status. I believe people only change when they have someone to change for beside themselves. Whether this is a family member, spouse, co-worker, minister, social worker, teacher or friend, the relationship with this other is the key to change. Although people do stop using drugs or alcohol, and end spousal abuse on their own, the rate of recidivism is high. Without changing one’s social environment—that is the relationship one has to other people--it is very difficult to find the inner strength needed to change on one’s own. Helen Harris Perlman wrote in Relationship The Heart of Helping People, that relationship is the foundation of social work. I believe her book is the “bible” of social work.
