are prepared to deal with its realities. No one teaches us how to deal with wrinkles, loss of mobility, or fading eyesight, and certainly no one prepares us to deal with life-threatening diseases. Moreover, trying to age gracefully and with dignity, feels like swimming against the tide of today’s forever-young society, where the young are perceived as beautiful and energetic while the old are seen as stale and useless.
In this society, wrinkles are ugly, and wheelchairs represent helplessness. No wonder many seniors are ashamed or embarrassed to display marks of aging, and no wonder more than 6.5 million seniors in America are diagnosed with some form of depression.3 Like golf-ball-sized hail coming at us with a reckless abandon, every mark of aging can chip away at our self-worth.
But we don’t have to measure our self-worth by our youthful skin tone or our ability to run marathons. Aging—and its accompanying physical and mental challenges—may be inevitable, but our later years do not have to be miserable. How we effectively cope with serious physical and mental decline is the raison d’être for this book and is the subject this book’s comprehensive program addresses. As a cancer survivor, I have discovered the extraordinary power of practicing positive aging, and I want to share this recipe for experiencing a more joyful life in your senior years.
It is important to emphasize that practicing positive aging can begin at any age and is especially beneficial for people over 50 years old when serious age-related decline becomes a reality.
CHAPTER ONE
Why Positive Aging?
At 63 years old, I looked in the mirror and saw a thin and drawn face with a hopeless and almost vacant demeanor. I saw loose skin bundling below my chin. My self-worth was eroding by the day.
I was petrified about my life. I had survived stage 3 esophageal cancer and was now one of the walking wounded. The aftermath left me thirty pounds underweight, precariously living off a feeding tube, and incessantly coughing and gagging throughout the day. Further, my mind often felt foggy and was no longer the spry tool it once was. I was aging rapidly and didn’t know how to cope with my sudden physical and mental decline.
I realized that everything I had learned and done with my life was no longer a “fit” in my altered state of existence. Of course, my doctor’s solution was for me to see a psychiatrist. He believed I was deeply depressed about my post-surgery life, and thought I needed psychiatric therapy sessions to help me better cope with my new normal.
I ignored his diagnosis and prescription and took another route. I embarked on a journey of discovery and I found the power of positive aging. I came to understand that positive aging is a way of living life—a combination of developing certain mindset changes and physical and spiritual improvements—that I believe is a genuine solution to successful aging. It literally saved my life by helping me cope under the most trying conditions.
I’m convinced that the practice of positive aging is destined to enhance quality of life for everyone facing the marks of aging—whether it’s a serious life-threatening disease like cancer; or a disease that lowers quality of life like arthritis and diabetes; or a mark of physical decline like mobility and hearing loss; or a mark of mental decline like dementia.
But before we go knee deep into the practice of positive aging, let’s define what it means to achieve “successful aging” and how positive aging gets us there.
Successful Aging
Everyone wants to age successfully, but what is meant by “successful”? This question has been the subject of research for decades. However, the discussion over successful aging takes on greater importance today because the large baby boomer population is becoming senior citizens at a rapid pace and enjoying—along with everybody else—a significant improvement in life expectancy numbers.
Fortunately, doctors Elizabeth Phelan and Eric Larson conducted a review of over four decades of successful aging literature in order to present a consensus definition.4 Later, working with two colleagues, they expanded on the previous study.5 From the literature identified, they presented nine major elements of successful aging:
1. Life satisfaction
2. Longevity
3. Freedom from disability
4. Mastery/growth
5. Active engagement with life
6. High/independent functioning
7. Positive adaptation
8. Psychological health
9. The importance of interpersonal relationships
In summary, successful aging refers to a multidimensional involvement with life that is inclusive of physical, functional, psychological, and social health.
Based on my own experience, I would add a tenth element to the definition of successful aging:
10. Spiritual health
Positive Aging
While the literature is filled with different versions and meanings of positive aging, and while there is no set definition of positive aging across cultures and nations, there is universal agreement that growing older has a psychological impact on us. In general, positive aging covers our ability to maintain a positive attitude, stay in the present moment, feel confident about ourselves, keep fit and healthy, and engage fully in life.
That’s why I believe that positive aging embodies all ten of the elements of successful aging. When embraced with enthusiasm, positive aging becomes successful aging, and allows us to write a fulfilling final chapter to our lives.
As we age, the practice of positive aging helps us better control our ability to cope with physical and mental decline. It also provides us with the wherewithal to fight off the stereotypes of ageism that could erode our self-worth.
Simply stated, positive aging is adopting a positive mindset of aging as a natural way of life. Rather than viewing aging in a negative light as something to be endured, aging is viewed as a positive journey of transition. Positive aging encompasses the elements of psychological, spiritual, physical, and social support. And beyond practicing positivity and holding a positive mindset, it also includes all the other beneficial things someone does because they are in a positive frame of mind, such as exercise, healthy diet, social interaction, and so on.
So, as you will see throughout this book, I set out on a journey to cope with the horrors of my cancer battle, and on the way I discovered useful notions and techniques that introduced me to the practice of positive aging. You will see boxes labeled “My Journey” scattered in subsequent chapters to demonstrate how I applied positive aging practices to my encounter with cancer.
I’ve come to believe that positive aging is a belief system that helps individuals better cope with the inconveniences one experiences throughout the aging process. The system’s emphasis on an individual’s psychological and spiritual health, as well as on developing and maintaining meaningful interpersonal relationships, creates a powerful defense system against the inevitable slings and arrows that life throws at us as we age.
The positive aging movement—led by educators such as Jan Hively, Encore.org; Meg Newhouse, Life Planning Network; and Dorian Mintzer, Revolutionize
