perceptions. Religious people make the connection between spirit and God. The broadest definition is that spirituality is the affirmation of something beyond the physical realm that relates God or a universal entity to a community of people and connects them with a nurturing wholeness.
My Explanations
I make no distinction between a spirit and a soul. I make no claims about which beliefs are true and which are false. To me, all beliefs are possibilities, and eventually science will uncover the truths about life, the universe, whether spirits and souls exist, and if there is afterlife. For the purposes of this book, religious and spiritual proclivities are unimportant, as is the difference between a belief in God as the almighty or God as a universal energy source.
The only assumption I make is that when we pass on, our physical bodies are left behind and our spirits transcend. Focus on growing your spirit while your body is decaying, and you will age gracefully.
Tap into Your Spirit
So, how do you nurture and grow your spirit? As you rely on your five senses (sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell) to nurture your physical body, you should rely on your intuitive perception to nurture your spirit.
Seek out moments that allow your spirit to reveal itself. Create more of these moments as you encounter the marks of aging, and you will feel that sense of calm and infinite peace in your inner self. Harness it; capture the feeling and call upon it often as you age.
How do you create these spiritually nourishing moments? Engage in activities that make it easy and fun to tap into your spirit. You can reach your spirit by clearing your mind through meditation and other spirit-related activities that can be inserted seamlessly into your daily routines.
Just as you exercise your physical body to gain strength and stay healthy and fit, your brain/mind also needs to be exercised so you can tap into your spirit. Someone who has never trained for running would have a difficult time finishing a 26-mile marathon, but with proper training running a marathon is an attainable goal. Similarly, someone who has never trained in a spiritual sense may experience initial frustration but in due time will likely succeed.
To get started, here are some popular ways that people tap into their inner spirit. I used some of these during my battle with cancer.
Tame Your Ego
An untamed ego is your spirit’s greatest enemy. Not surprisingly, your ego responds negatively to overall decline in physical appearance, as well as to decline in bodily functions (e.g., digestive problems). I liken it to a jealous 6-year old boy trying to gain the attention of his parents over his 3-year old sister—the ego steps in front of the spirit at every opportunity. Taming your ego is a mandatory first step in tapping into your spirit, and it comes before employing the other steps for coping with aging.
You begin by becoming aware that your ego heavily influences your thoughts and actions and that your ego makes it more difficult to age gracefully. Then you will realize that you are in control of your thoughts, not your ego. Do not rush the process; your objective is to make a little progress each day at taming your ego.
Hold a picture of your younger self up to the mirror and contrast it to the person you see now. Your ego will long to be young again and might emit a series of emotions like sadness, anger, resentment, and shame.
Take note of everything old about you (e.g., wrinkles, age spots, hair loss), and then just say no to your ego. Instead, view your physical marks of aging as a badge of honor. Feel a sense of pride in reaching this point in your life. Tell your ego that growing old is a good thing; it’s something to be proud of.
MY JOURNEY
During my battle with cancer, I discovered a number of ways to lift my spirit while coping with chemotherapy and radiation treatments, as well as when I was dealing with the anguish involved with the pre- and post-surgery periods.
When first diagnosed with cancer, it was my ego that had a difficult time. My ego was bruised and unable to accept that I had cancer. Other people got cancer, not me. I had to push my ego aside and accept my fate. This was the first step in coping with and battling cancer.
Perhaps you have experienced times when your spirit unexpectedly surged ahead of your ego. For me, one such time occurred when I vacationed in Costa Rica years ago. I was walking in a place where the rain forest meets the ocean. As I strolled on the white sands of the Costa Rican beach, to my left was a breathtaking sight of clear blue ocean waves hitting against the shore, while to my right was a picturesque view of a tropical rain forest—with monkeys jumping from tree to tree and exotic birds boasting the colors of the rainbow perched on tree limbs. In that moment, I was free of past and future thoughts. I felt no anxiety or sadness. I felt happiness and joy and I didn’t have a care in the world.
My spirit had come for a visit and, for a while at least, displaced my attention-seeking ego.
Seek Peaceful Moments
At least two or three times per day, put yourself in a place where you can be “far from the madding crowd” and away from all distractions. This could be in your bedroom, or outside on a back porch, or during a walk in the park. The objective is to capture some moments where you can find peace of mind. These moments better prepare you to summon your spirit.
During my six-week chemotherapy/radiation treatment in Tampa, Florida, I would take long walks at the Residence Inn where I was staying. I found a path that was lined with tall trees that had a calming effect on me. This was my time of reflection, and my spirit led the way.
Walking puts your mind in a relaxed state of clear thought. Walking gives your brain a chance to wander and free itself from any troubling thoughts, which is a prerequisite for tapping into your spirit. I know I’m tapping into my spirit when I walk alone and think.
Meditate
Meditation is a practice that promotes relaxation, builds internal energy (or life-force), and develops compassion, love, kindness, and an overall sense of well-being. It is perhaps the most effective practice of spirituality. Meditation involves focusing on an object, a point in space, or a mantra (in Buddhist or yoga practices). Some physicians and health centers now routinely recommend meditation or yoga and include them as part of integrated health programs. See detailed instructions for meditation in chapter 4, Mindfulness.
Facilitate an Out-of-Body Experience
Have you ever experienced an out-of-body experience? Over 25 percent of adults in the United States claim to have experienced at least one out-of-body experience.
An out-of-body experience, or OBE, is an experience that typically involves a sensation of floating outside one’s body or, in some cases, the feeling of perceiving one’s physical body as if from a place outside one’s body. People who have experienced an OBE tend to hold a strong belief that their spirit is separate from their physical body.
OBEs can be induced by deep meditation, sounds that stimulate the brain, and near-death experiences, among others. However, not everyone believes in the validity of OBEs. Neuroscientists and psychologists regard OBEs as dissociative experiences arising from different psychological and neurological factors.
Some people take OBEs a step further than just believing that their spirit can separate from their physical body. Some believe that once they have an OBE and their spirit leaves their physical body, they have acquired the skills
