housework and children without the father’s help. When a man refuses to do so-called “women’s work”, this usually results in friction because the woman ends up being overworked, and the whole family suffers.
Although some men cannot resist acting in a chauvinistic manner at work and making unwelcome sexual advances to their female colleagues, a woman with a strong case can take such a man to court.
Your feminine nature enables you to do so much. You have every reason to be proud of being a woman. It is also very important to realise that a feminine figure alone doesn’t make a girl into a woman. True femininity isn’t learned, but is part of your being. It’s within you, it’s part of your heart and soul and is reflected in everything you do. In the meantime you must learn to adjust to the most important early sign of your womanhood, menstruation.
Get advice from your mother or doctor about any aspects of menstruation that you don’t understand, but don’t listen to old wives’ tales. It is not true that you will catch a cold or suffer some terrible fate if you bath, wash your hair or walk barefoot during your period. After all, menstruation is not a disease but a normal bodily function.
Although the length of the cycle, regularity, duration of menstruation and the amount of blood lost vary from one woman to the next, and even in the same woman, menstruation seldom causes so much discomfort that it completely disrupts your life. The flow of blood is initially fairly insignificant and brief, lasting from three to six days, and is normally so slight that it seldom causes weakness or anaemia. In a healthy girl it is replaced within a few days by the increased production of blood in the bone marrow. It might, however, help to take a vitamin or iron supplement during menstruation.
Tests conducted by sports physicians have shown that the performance of sportswomen (athletes, tennis players and even swimmers) is not affected by menstruation. Many world records have been set by women while they were menstruating. Stage actresses, film stars and photographic models cannot afford to let menstruation interrupt their work. The old-fashioned belief that a girl is “unclean” at that time of the month has long since been rejected (even though some cultures retain these beliefs and practices).
Dysmenorrhoea (painful menstruation) can usually be relieved with ordinary painkillers, such as those taken for headaches. The warmth of a hot-water bottle, placed on the abdomen, might also bring relief. It is better not to stay in bed because of dysmenorrhoea, or to use it as an excuse not to go to school or carry out some unpleasant task. You might develop the bad habit of being lazy during menstruation and it could affect you psychologically if you always act the martyr.
You do not, however, simply have to put up with acute dysmenorrhoea. If you really suffer during your period you should consult a doctor. There may be some cause that can be treated, or the doctor might prescribe stronger painkillers.
If you are one of those people who are scared of the doctor, get nervous in the waiting room and feel petrified on entering the consulting room, you must try to get over your fears. If you’re scared of an injection or embarrassed about a medical examination, remember that many girls feel just like you. Be brave. Doctors don’t inject their patients without good reason, and in these enlightened times there is no need for exaggerated shyness when your health is on the line.
A doctor is aware of a young patient’s fears and keeps them in mind. If you suffer from unmanageable ailments or problems and your mother cannot help, you should not hesitate to consult a doctor. Visit your doctor if your menstruation bothers you because it is very painful or lasts too long, especially if you really worry about it. You can also, of course, in many cases opt to see a female doctor. Doctors are not only there to cure illnesses, but also to give information about health matters. The doctor will listen sympathetically and examine you carefully, without making you remove clothing unnecessarily. You could take your mother along for support the first time. Later you should go on your own, so that you can explain the problem yourself and gradually build up a good relationship with the doctor of your choice. Once the ice has been broken you should make it a habit to visit her regularly, about once a year, whether there is something wrong with you or not.
You already know that you need not avoid soap and water when you menstruate. Another important aspect of personal hygiene you should keep in mind is that it’s not only your sexual glands that start working during puberty. Your other glands, especially your sweat glands, also start to work overtime. Stale sweat in the armpits and groin smells very unpleasant, so you should wash these areas regularly and thoroughly. Be sure to wash your armpits and genitals after exercise and on hot days, to ensure that you smell fresh.
After that you could use an underarm deodorant to help you stay fresh. Try to avoid the kind known as antiperspirants, unless you sweat a lot. The ingredients in an antiperspirant could cause an allergic reaction in someone with a sensitive skin. When you wash your genitals, use only soap and water. Do not use disinfectants or deodorants, as the strong chemicals in them could damage the sensitive mucous membrane that lines the vagina.
Protecting your clothes during menstruation has become easier due to the absorbent qualities of synthetic materials. No girl need fear that she will embarrass herself. There are different kinds of protection available to absorb the flow – worn externally or internally, and which are disposable.
The first kind is a sanitary towel worn between the legs. It has a strip of glue on the underside so that you can stick it to your panties. Sanitary towels are available in various sizes and thicknesses and are therefore equally suitable for young girls and mature women and during days with a heavy flow or when the flow has eased.
There are advantages and disadvantages to sanitary towels. The main advantages are that they are easy to replace and that two can be worn at once when the flow of blood is particularly heavy. A disadvantage is that the gauze layer, which feels soft against the skin when the towel is first put on, could chafe the groin when damp. If the towel is worn for too long because there is no chance to replace it, it could give off a slight smell.
The other kind of protection, a tampon, is worn internally (inside the vagina). One type of tampon comes enclosed in two thin cardboard tubes. A string is attached to the tampon and hangs out of the smaller tube. Both tubes are placed in the vagina, the tampon is pushed in with the smaller tube and the cardboard tubes are then removed. The string now hanging out of the vagina is used to pull out the tampon when it becomes saturated. The other type of tampon is not enclosed in cardboard tubes, but is inserted by hand into the vagina, with the string at the bottom.
There is no scientific opposition to the use of tampons by young girls, as long as they replace them regularly, insert them correctly and ensure that they fit properly. If a tampon is inserted correctly you will hardly be aware that you’re wearing one. Tampons have other advantages too: they are small enough to carry unobtrusively in a handbag during sporting or social events, they can be worn invisibly (a great advantage in activities such as swimming, athletics and dancing), and they are easier to wear than sanitary towels.
There are many girls, however, who do not manage to insert a tampon. The most common reason for this is that the opening in the hymen is too small (see page 38). Other possible reasons are fear or nervousness, incorrect technique or an infection at the mouth of the vagina.
If a girl wants to use tampons but finds she can’t because of the narrowness of the hymen opening, she could ask a doctor to stretch the opening. This is a simple procedure involving little or no discomfort.
If you are uncertain about how to insert a tampon, you should either read the instructions on the packet carefully or else ask your mother’s advice. You also need to know about the female anatomy.
Study your genitals using a small mirror and experiment with a lubricated index finger. Remember that the vagina runs diagonally towards your back. Crouching with your legs wide apart is the most comfortable
