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Iphepha lesihloko
THEMBELANI NGENELWA
UKUVUKA KWAM EKUFENI
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Unikezelo
Le ncwadi ndiyinikezela kuzo zonke iintsapho
zamaxhoba obundlobongela. Ndikwayinikezela nakwabo
balala obungehliyo befuna isisombululo sale nkohlakalo.
Langa eli bali linganithuthuzela, linomeleze.
1. Ukuqingqa kwam
Ukuqingqa kwam
Ndazalelwa ndakhulela kwisithili saseNgcobo, enye yeedolophana zaseMpuma Koloni. INgcobo ke le sisixekwana esingqongwe ziilali ezininzi kumhlaba wamaQwathi, kwiphandle elalisakubizwa njengeTranskei ngexesha lobandlululo. Ilali yam yiMadladleni, kwesikaNgubelanga. Ndikhulele apho ke ndiyinkwenkwana ebetha ngezikaTshiwo nenebhongo kakhulu ngokwalusa imfuyo kayise. Ubusakundibona nabahlobo bam sintyontya amakhwelo phezu kwentlambo zomlambo omkhulu uMgwali, sisitya amagontsi nemiqokolo. Ndikhuliswe kule ndawo intle kangakanana ndisazi ukuba umhambi ngumhlobo ongekadibani naye. Sikwakhuliswe ukuba simenzele izibele umhambi, njengoko nentetho yabadala isithi, “Isisu somhambi sincinane, singangentso yentaka.”
Ubomi bethu ke babunzinyana eMadladleni, kodwa sasikhuthazwa ukuba sifunde ukuze sikwazi ukuyiphucula le lali. Ngoko ke abazali bethu babenamaphupha amahle ngathi – besibona siphumelela ebomini. Ke abam abazali babendikhuthaza ngokundixhelela igusha nyaka ngamnye xa ndithe ndaphumelela ibanga esikolweni. Bekusithi ke xa ndiphumelele emagqabini bandithengele izihlangu ezitsha, nditsho ndifumane nokutendwa ngokuthi ndithunyelwe eholideyini kwamakhulu wam uMamfene eChefane. Kumaxesha anje ke yayiba libhaso eliphindwe kubini eli kuba umakhulu yena ebesakundixhelela etyetyisiweyo yona igusha le, exhelela umzukulwana wakhe okrelekrele.
Ekhaya ke sasilusapho olunothando nolumanyeneyo, yaye sasineqhayiya ngokuncinane esasinako, singavumi ukuzithatha njengosapho oluhlelelekileyo. Umzi wakuthi ubulikhaya lamakholwa utata engumvangeli waseWesile kwi-United Methodist Church of Southern Africa – ibandla lamaWesile aManyeneyo loMazantsi Afrika. Ebesaziwa, ethandwa kwaye engumshumayeli onesidima nohlonitshiweyo. UMabhlangwe ke yena, umama, ebengunobhatyi owathi ngenxa yokuzinikela nokuthembeka enkonzweni, wenziwa unondyebo wesekethe. Enyanisweni wena, abazali bam bekunye nomakhulu babengabantu abalungileyo ekuhlaleni nasenkonzweni. Zalelwa kumzi onje ke uza kuwuva umthwalo emagxeni xa ukhula! Noxa nje ukhona wona umvuzo, umthwalo uhlala ukhona, kunjalo nje umkhulu. Abazali bethu babengakholelwa ekusinyanzeleni ukuba siye ecaweni, bekholelwa ekubeni siya kuthi xa sithe sahlabeka siwazi apho ungakhona umnyango wecawe. Nakubeni kunjalo ke kwakulindeleke ukuba siziphathe kakuhle, sikhule sibe ngamalungu okuhlala azixabisileyo, silandele nasekhondweni labo. Lo mthwalo ke ubuthe chatha apha kum, kuba ndiyinkulu. Usapho lwethu lwaluhleli lunethemba lokuba mna nabantakwethu ababini, uChuma noMandisi, sakukhula senze ngcono kunotata wethu, mhlawumbi side sibe ngabefundisi. Umzali nomzali ke phofu uhlala enqwenela ukuba abantwana bakhe bantinge baye phezulu, oku kokhozi. Nalapha ekhaya ke bekunjalo. Nangoku ndisakhumbula abantu ngabantu ababede bayipkhuphe ngemilomo yabo iminqweno yabo. Babekho ababesaya kundixelela ukuba kufuneka ndifunde ndibe ngutitshala, umntu owayexabiseke kakhulu ke lowo elalini yam. Ndandisakuncuma olugoso ke xa kusitshiwo, sendizibona ndithe ntshi iqhina elimnyama thsu, nesuti emhlophe qhwa! Lilonke wena bekulindelwe lukhulu kum, njengoko usazi xa ungunyana wokuqala ekhayeni, de uqwele ngokuba uye kuvela emnyangweni wesikolo.
Ndingumceph’ucandiwe ke nalo mhlekazi ungutata, nto leyo yayisenza ukuba abantu bahlale bendithelekisa naye mihla le. Into ababengayazi ke kukuba lo mthwalo babendithwalisa wona wawundenza ndizive ndikhonkxekile, ndifuthaniselekile. Ndandizifumana ndibekwe idyokhwe enzima emagxeni am, idyokhwe etyabulayo. Ndandihlala ndizixelela ukuba abantu bafanele bandithathe ngokobuni bam, bangandithathi njengesetyana labazali bam. Mandinikwe eyam idyokhwe, hayi eyabazali! Ngenxa yolu mthwalo ke, urheme lo undim wayengayinanze kangako icawa, noxa nje ephuma kwikhaya elingqiyame kakhulu ngecawa. Andisayi kubagxeka ke abazali bam, babesikhulisa ngobuchule, ngengqeqesho nangengqiqo, besibonisa umzila emasiwulandele ngaphandle kokusinyanzela. Babehlala besifundisa ukubaluleka komthandazo nokuthemba uThixo, kodwa mna ngelo xesha umthandazo ndandingawuboneli ntweni ndingawunanzanga kakhulu. Eyokuba umthandazo lunxibelelwano olunzulu noThixo, uMdali wethu, ndandingacingi nokucinga ngayo.
Ndandingomnye waba bantu bathandaza kuphela nje xa bezibona besengxakini, bengayazi into amabayenze. Ndandisithi ke nje ukuba ndibe kude nabazali, ndipetsule ndigeze. Kaloku ebesakwenza njalo onke amakhwenkwana antanga-nye nam. Mna ndedwa ke ndandikhetha ukuya ethaleni ndiye kwalusa imfuyo yakuthi ngomhla wecawa. Ekuphela kweenkonzo endandisiya kuzo zezasebusuku, njengoko uqonda ke mfundi – oyena nobangela yayikukuya ezintombini, hayi enkonzweni. Iinkonzo ezazidume ngeemvuselelo zasebusuku yayiziinkonzo zamaZayoni, apho lalisitsho igubu kunge kuza kugqabhuka isifuba. Ke thina besisakuma ngasemnyango sijonge abaphumayo nabangenayo. Kwakukho nenkonzo yamaPostile aseSt. John’s, apho sasiye sibukele amaPostile engqungqa kuhle ngaloo mixwayo yawo iluhlaza ngokwesibhakabhaka. Kwakuphinda ke kubekhona iinkonzo zosindiso ezazingenela kwimizi eyahlukeneyo. Zonke ke ezi mvaba zaziba neemvuselelo zasebusuku qho ngeMigqibelo nangooLwesihlanu. Ubusakusibona ke singqunga sikhangela into esingayaziyo kude kufutshane. Nazo ke iinkonzo endandizihamba. Phofu nale yakuthi inkonzo ibibanazo iimvuselel zasebusuku kodwa ndandingasondeli nokusondela kuyo kuba kaloku abazali bam babesengandibhaqa kwezo zinto zokukroba ngeefestile. Ngoko ke kuyinyaniso ukuthi inkolo yobuKrestu ndandiyazi, ndiyiqonda kodwa ndandingakholelwa kuyo.
Ndathi ke ndakuphumelela ibanga lesixhenxe kwisikolo saseSikhobeni, ndasityeshela iSikhoba, ndaya kufunda kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, iManzana. Unyaka yayingu-1992. IManzana yayikwakummmandla waseNgcobo, kodwa ithe tyishi noko eMadlaleni. Kulapho ke ndafika ndakhetha izifundo zeMaths nePhysical Science, ndalandela ikhondo lobunzululwazi, ndinyeke ukuphumeza iphupha lam lokuba ngenye imini ndibe ngugqirha ovunyiweyo, ndinyange isizwe. Njengoko besenditshilo ke mlesi, bezimbalwa kakhulu izifundiswa kumhlaba waseNgcobo kwaye ebembalwa amakhondo emfundo esiwaziyo. Besisazi oogqirha, oonesi nootitshala kuphela.
Ngexesha lam esinaleni kuManzana ndandihlala kwimizi eqeshisayo ekwakuhlala kuyo abafundi abangamakhwenkwe, ingakumbi abo bakusuka kwiindawo ezikude nesikolo. Sasisithi ukuyibiza le mizi kusemagxamesini. Kulapha ke apho ndafunda ukuzimela de ndafunda nemikhutyanyana enganqwenelekiyo. Ndandineminyaka elishumi elinesihlanu, ndingugqada-mbekweni wengqithana emfutshane, ethetha kume ngayo phakathi kwabanye abafundi. Ndandikwanesipho soburharha, ndiliqhula elaziwayo kuManzana. Oku ke kwandenza ndaba ngumntu odumileyo, edume ngezizathu ezahlukeneyo.
Kaloku emva ekhaya ndandingumntu apha onamaqhingana angephi, ndiwafihla ke noko. Umzekelo, ndandiye ndinyebelezele ngobusuku ndisiya emitshotshweni nasemidudweni nakwezi nonkonzo sendizichazile. Ndingabonwa tu ngabazali. Kaloku abazali bam, de agqithisele umama yena, babengqingqwa kakhulu, bengafuni nokuva ngale midudo yasebusuku. Iqhinga lam yayikukuzenza owozelayo malanga. Ndandiye ndibe liyosi-yosi ngakumbi xa ziya kweyesixhenxe intsimbi, ndingene ezingubeni kwangoko ndaziwe njengoleleyo. Ndandiye ke ndithi xa bonke belele yoyi, ndivuke ndithi qwa, ndichwechwe ukuya esiyolweni. Ndandisakubuya ngentseni ke apho, bathi bevuka ndibe sendimaxhaphetshu ndizenza lowo ococa indlu yakhe ndibetha umlozi kungekho nobonayo ukuba khange ndibuthi chwe. Ndiyazi ke mfundi ukuba nawe uyayazi le nto ndithetha ngayo.
Kanti ke esinaleni phaya babembalwa kakhulu abantu abayaziyo imvelaphi yam, ngoko ke ndandisazi ukuba kwanto eyenzeka esinaleni iza kuphelela esinaleni, abazali bam soze beve nto ngayo. Ngenxa yolwimi lwam olubetha ngokukhawuleza, nangenxa yoburharha bam, namaqhinga kadyakalashe endandikhule nawo, ndikhawuleze ndaba nentaphane yabahlobo, ndathandwa kakhulu naziintombi ezi. Ndaqala ke apho ndamana ndisiba nalapha ecubeni nasetywaleni. Enyanisweni ayemaninzi amakhwenkwe ayekule ntanga yam ayesenza izinto ezazinokuhlasimlisa abazali bawo. Nam ndadludla nawo, inkululeko yokuba kude nekhaya ndayisebenzisa – kakubi.
