come by just wanting it. Only —by making it happen. For instance, here, you could only make it happen by killing Crispus and me and—the others.’ He didn’t want to say her name.
‘No!’ said Argas. ‘If we did that it wouldn’t come. Because we mustn’t ever do anything wrong to hurry it. We don’t murder, we Christians. We don’t steal. We—we want not even to hate or envy. And often we don’t.’
‘Clever chaps!’ said Beric, and then, ‘But how are you going to get your Kingdom if you don’t mean to kill?’
‘Well,’ said Argas, daring, ‘You didn’t want the Kingdom an hour ago, and now you do. Though you are my master.’
‘What makes you say that?’
‘You called me brother,’ said Argas haltingly, ‘and now it’s going to be difficult for you, ordering me about and all—not, I don’t mean, that you’ve ever been hard on me, I don’t mean that—’
‘I cut your face open with a book.’
‘Well, you might feel bad if you did that tomorrow—not that I care, at least, not about getting my face cut, only—’
‘If I ever do it again, you can throw it back at me. That’s what you’re after, isn’t it, Argas?’
‘Just that. And that’s a bit of the Kingdom.’
‘Equality. That’s Stoic doctrine you know, Argas, only carried a bit further.’ He puzzled over it, talking half to himself. ‘The Stoics didn’t say anything about having to be poor; only that if you happened to be poor you could still be free and the equal of anyone. But Lalage said you Christians couldn’t be rich.’
‘I don’t see a Christian being rich,’ Argas said, ‘or if he started rich, he’d soon be poor, if he lived like a Christian, because he wouldn’t be able to keep anything for himself.’
‘Wouldn’t be able? You mean, you wouldn’t let him?’
‘He just wouldn’t want to. You’ll know if—if you do join us. Claudia Acté gives away all her money.’
‘Is she a Christian?’ said Beric, startled, then, ‘No, it’s all right, Argas, you haven’t made a mistake. I shan’t tell the police.’
‘I didn’t think you would, sir. Only—’
‘As soon as you get frightened, you start sir-ing me again. Idiot!’ said Beric amicably. ‘You’d better call me by my name. I suppose you’ve got a nickname for me, too?’
‘We didn’t have any nasty name for you—truly—only The Briton.’
‘What did you have for the others?’ asked Beric, amused and wanting to hear it all.
But Argas suddenly realised that he must not hear the name for Flavia; that would hurt; that would interrupt. He said, ‘No. I can’t tell you.’
‘You’ve got to!’
For a moment Argas was afraid again, with the Briton glaring at him, really annoyed; then he saw that he needn’t and mustn’t be. His fear was only something left over. ‘How are you going to make me tell you—now?’ he asked. ‘I’m not going to do a thing more for you except of my own free will!’
Beric suddenly began to laugh, threw himself back on to the cushions in fits of laughter. ‘Then I shall have to fill my own bath!’
Argas was rather shocked; he said, ‘I shall go on doing my proper work. Because I choose. Can I go on telling you about our prayer, or are you going on laughing?’
‘It makes me feel like laughing,’ Beric said, ‘the whole thing. I like laughing. I laugh at things I like. I think I see what you’re after about this Kingdom, you and Lalage. And you think it’ll come?’
‘We know it’s coming. That’s the Will of God that we ask to be done. It’s—it’s reason, the Kingdom. It’s the only thing that makes sense of people being in the same world with one another. It isn’t sense, is it, some having all the money and powers and others slaves all their lives and never getting a chance of being real people?’
‘It’s always been like that,’ said Beric slowly. ‘I don’t know about being sense. I never thought about sense in the way people are arranged.’
‘That’s because you were on top. You didn’t have to. I’ve had to, and I know it’s nonsense as it is. It’s wasting people all the time. Men and women.’
‘You want a world then, where all are poor?’
‘Yes. Where money and power aren’t being used any longer to make nonsense of the way we live with one another. With making friends. A world where you and I can be friends.’
‘Can’t we be friends as it is?’
‘We’ll see. I—I wanted a lot to be friends with you ever since—well, ever since you bought me. I’ve read plenty of books and that. I’m not a fool. Only you never gave me a chance till now. You made nonsense of me wanting it.’
‘I’m sorry, Argas,’ said Beric, not laughing any more.
‘Well then, God’s will must be reason: and that’s what the Kingdom is. That’s why we ask for the Will to be done, even when we don’t understand how it’s working. And when we ask for daily bread, that means security. Just knowing from day to day where we shall be. One can’t make the Kingdom without that much.’
‘I don’t think I want security,’ said Beric. ‘That’s a Roman thing. I want adventures.’
‘You’ve never not been secure,’ said Argas, ‘never been at anyone’s mercy for everything. Punished for what you hadn’t done. Yes—it wasn’t me that broke the wine jar last week! Oh, it doesn’t matter, truly, it doesn’t matter now! But they stole half my savings and nobody cared, and I had a book—and it was torn up, and… If you hadn’t bought me at the beginning of last year, my master would have taken me off to Gaul, away from the Church here and everything I cared about. That sort of thing happened twice before. But you were part of the Will. Don’t laugh, no, don’t laugh at me! It’s true. And then, after that, we remind ourselves to be always forgiving one another. And how we’re always doing things ourselves that need forgiveness. That’s important. And sometimes it’s difficult.’
Beric thought about it, lying back on the couch, one knee up, the other crooked over it, swinging. ‘Not one’s enemies? You don’t mean you try to forgive them?’
‘Yes,’ said Argas. And then, ‘You could forgive Aelius Candidus if you tried.’
Beric sat up sharply. ‘That’s none of your business!’ he said.
But Argas wasn’t going to let himself be frightened now. ‘If I’m your friend, it is my business,’ he said. ‘We all saw and it’s no good pretending we didn’t. And we were all on your side. Though I knew you’d kick me if I said so.’
‘Hell,’ said Beric. ‘I would have. I know I would. And then you’d have had
