and drowned in her bed. At her grave Reverend H, with his sunglasses and diamond ring, gave a speech that made everybody cry. Then the wind started blowing and lifted his robe. Underneath it he was wearing the tightest pair of black leather pants. It looked like the bottom half of Tom Jones. I had to pick up a stone and chew on it so I wouldn’t scream.
People just sighed and threw their hands up in the air.
It’s the Change Of Life! they said, Pathetic!
To this day I don’t know why people are so negative towards the Change Of Life. My Change Of Life started the day I earned my first money. I bought a pair of enormous black sunglasses. A month later I bought the biggest ring I could find and a pair of leather pants.
People talk about ageing, maturity, dignity and grace. But it’s all panic and desperation. Have they learned nothing? If you’re hot, you’re hot. That’s all. The rest is for beginners.
(from the Honeybee stage production, 2013)
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