so he hud tae be a ram wi huge curly hoarns, jist like the Egyptian god ae the underworld. Very appropriate, that. And ah wis jist tryin tae work oot whether the heidie wis mair lik the Sun god or a sphinx, when he swept intae the room.
Miss Niven, the Quality Assurance Unit will be visiting the school next Tuesday, nothing to worry about, just an informal visit to pick out good practice.
Will they want to see my planning sheets?
Yes, but I’m sure all your paperwork is up to date, and there is evidently splendid work going on in the room. But what is this child doing drawing pictures of Egyptians? Should she not be on to the ‘Victory for Democracy’ unit by now?
So the next day ma felties an cardboard were pit away and ah hud tae dae a worksheet on the Russian front. She let me keep the wee fine black pen though. She’s dead nice, Miss Niven.
But Skelly Kelly wis still a bastard and ah got him every day a the week. And his teachin wisnae even as modern as the ancient Egyptians, oot the ark, mair like; aw ye did wis write, write, write till yer airm felt like a big balloon or ye hud tae dae grammar exercises and interpretations, and he never read us stories like the ither English teachers. And because ah couldnae dae aw the writin in time, ah ended up takin piles a stuff hame tae copy up every night, then he took the jotters in wanst a week and mines came back covered in red marks. Ma writin looked a bit like wee scarab beetles scurryin aboot the page and when he corrected it, it wis as if the wee beetles hud aw startit bleedin.
Once again, Mary Ryan, I can barely read a word of your writing.
Ah couldnae unnerstaun a word of whit he wrote on ma jotter either but ah couldnae very well say that, could ah?
And then wan day ah couldnae take it oany longer.
Today you will be doing a timed composition. This is to give you practice for your examinations. The question is on the board. You have precisely fifty minutes. Begin.
Imagine you are going on a journey. Describe where you are going and what things you would take with you.
So ah startit tae write aboot ma journey tae the next world and the hings ah wid take wi me, aw in wee pictures. Ah drew me and ma mammy (ma da might as well be in the next world fur aw ah see of him) and ma sisters, Catherine an Elizabeth, in a wee boat fur ah hud some idea that ah wanted ma journey tae be ower the watter. And we took nice stuff tae eat, big plates a mince an tatties (ah know ye couldnae really keep them hot but it kinda makes sense the way the Egyptians dae it) and ice cream fae the café an bottles a ginger and sweeties and that.
Ah spent a long time thinkin oot whit else ah wanted tae take, fur a loaty the hings we huv in this world might no be oany use tae us in the next. After aw, whit use are CDs if there’s nae electricity? So ah decided tae gie each ae us three hings tae take in the boat fur ye widnae want that much stuff that the boat wid sink, an oanyway three is wanny they numbers that’s gey important in stories. Who ever heardy emdy gettin five wishes aff their fairy godmother or the two blind mice or seventeen wee pigs?
Elizabeth’s three hings were easy fur she’s only four an she aye cairries a bitty auld blanket roond wi her, and she’ll no go oanywhere wioot her teddy or her Sindy doll. Catherine’s eight but she would need tae take her teddy too and her new blue jumper wi a picture of a wee lamb on it an her deelie-boablers; ye know they hings ye pit roond yer heid like an Alice band but they’ve got wee antennas stickin oot fae them an they make ye look lik sumpn fae ooter space. Ah know these kindy hings go in and ooty fashion and two weeks fae noo she’ll feel like a real chookie when she minds she wanted tae go tae mass in them, but at the moment she’d want tae take them. And ah’d take some paper and the black pen fur daein ma hieroglyphics, and ma picture ae a wee spaniel pup that ah cut oot of a magazine and keep on the wall by ma bed, fur we couldnae huv a real dug doon ma bit.
But whit would ma mammy take wi her? Aw ae a sudden it came tae me that ah didnae know whit ma mammy wid take on her journey tae the next world, it wid need tae be sumpn private and jist fur her, and mammys don’t tell ye these things fur they’re too busy workin and bringin ye up tae huv a loaty time fur theirsels. And then auld Kelly told us tae finish off, it wis time, so ah hud tae leave her wi naethin. But mibby no, fur ah hink if ah’d asked her, ma mammy wid say we are her three best hings; Catherine and Elizabeth and me.
Mary Ryan will collect in the compositions.
Ah walked roond the class, gaitherin in the bits a paper, lookin at each wan as ah picked it up. Aw they different kinds a haunwritin; squinty, straight, big or wee, different sizes and shapes on the page. Then ah picked up ma ain story wi its neat wee black drawins and noticed ah hudny pit ma name on it. So ah drew a wee picture of masel wi a cheery face on it, pit ma story right on tap ae the pile and planted the whole lot doon in the centre of his desk.
Thon wee wifie brung them in, the wan that took us for two days when Mrs McDonald wis aff. She got us tae make Christmas cards wi coloured cardboard and felties, which is a bit much when we’re in second year, but naebdy wis gonnae say anythin cos it’s better than daein real work. Anyway ah like daein things like that and made a right neat wee card for ma daddy wi a Christmas tree and a robin and a bit a holly on it.
That’s lovely, dear. What’s your name?
Clare.
Would you like to use the glitter pens?
And she pulled oot the pack fae her bag.
Ah’d never seen them afore. When ah wis in Primary Four the teacher gied us tubes of glitter but it wis quite messy. Hauf the stuff ended up on the flair and it wis hard tae make sure you got the glue in the right places. But these pens were different cos the glue wis mixed in wi the glitter so you could jist draw with them. It wis pure brilliant, so it wis. There wis four colours, rid, green, gold and silver, and it took a wee while tae get the hang of it. You had tae be careful when you squeezed the tube so’s you didnae get a big blob appearin at wanst, but efter a few goes ah wis up an runnin.
And when ah’d finished somethin amazin hud happened. Ah cannae explain whit it wis but the glitter jist brought everythin tae life, gleamin and glisterin agin the flat cardboard. It wis like the difference between a Christmas tree skinklin wi fairy lights an wan lyin deid an daurk in a corner.
Ma daddy wis dead chuffed. He pit the card on the bedside table and smiled.
Fair brightens up this room, hen.
It’s good tae find sumpn that cheers him up even a wee bit because ma daddy’s really sick. He’s had a cough fur as long as ah can remember, and he husny worked fur years, but these past three month he cannae even get oot his bed. Ah hear him coughin in the night sometimes and it’s different fae the way he used tae cough, comes fae deeper inside him somehow, seems tae rack his hale body fae inside oot. When ah come in fae school ah go and sit wi him and tell him aboot whit’s happened that day, but hauf the time he looks away fae me and stares at a patch on the downie cover where there’s a coffee stain that ma ma cannae wash oot. He used tae work strippin oot buildins and he wis breathin in stour aw day, sometimes it wis that bad he’d come hame wi his hair and his claes clartit wi it. He used tae kid on he wis a ghost and walk in the hoose wi his airms stretched oot afore him and ah’d rin and hide unner the stair, watchin him walk by wi the faint powdery whiteness floatin roon
