the most masculine male she could ever remember meeting.
Not that it mattered. Even if she hadn’t been extremely pregnant, she was never going to allow herself to think of a man that way again. Especially not a man like Holt. He was the type who could swallow her soul and mangle it, when she had barely escaped her mistake of a marriage with her soul intact. Still, with her retreat she felt her grand plans evaporating. Holt wasn’t going to help her. She would have no project to her name, nothing to put on her résumé, probably no means of supporting herself and her child once the clinic closed. And her friends she wanted to help … that wasn’t going to happen, either. She was going to fail at all of that. Just because of this stubborn man.
No, that wasn’t right. It wasn’t him. She was the one who had to convince him to help her. Winning others’ cooperation would be a big part of her job if she ever managed to get a job in her field. This was her proving ground.
Kathryn forced herself to look straight into Holt’s eyes. “Don’t you care about the people of the town?”
He didn’t answer that, but his brows drew together in a scowl.
“I see them,” she said. “Every day. People who come to Dr. Cooper with serious, frightening problems.”
As if she’d said something offensive, his expression turned colder. Without thought, she shoved her hand out and blindly touched his shoulder. Instantly, his muscles flexed beneath the pads of her fingertips. Her hand tingl her heart took an extra beat. Kathryn jerked back as if she’d touched fire.
The look in his dark eyes was deadly. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m going to discuss my feelings.”
No, she could see that would be a mistake. “I won’t, but—”
He raised one dark, sexy brow, and Kathryn had to work to stay focused. “But what do you think will happen if people don’t have a clinic or a doctor in Larkville?” she continued.
“It’s not something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about.”
“Of course not. You’re clearly an incredibly healthy man.”
He blinked, as if she’d said something shocking when all she’d said—did he think she was ogling him?
Most likely. Women would. She had in the past, and if her circumstances and her life and her entire world hadn’t turned out the way it had … No, no, no.
“I only meant that you’ve obviously not spent a lot of time in doctors’ offices,” she said a bit too quickly.
He didn’t respond.
“But there are people who need regular treatments or who need help quickly. If a doctor isn’t nearby, they may put off going at all. They might even die. Think about that.”
He frowned at her. “I’m thinking,” he said. And clearly what he was thinking wasn’t anything good. Why, oh, why was Holt the man she had to work with in order to get this thing done?
Holt felt as if he’d been kicked in the gut. By something a lot bigger and more lethal than this fragile woman standing before him. Kathryn wasn’t just looking for a favor. He was used to doing small favors. Like it or not, they were part of the ranch’s role in the community. But Kathryn wanted more than a small favor. She wanted him to ask for favors, and that wasn’t his style. The thought of opening himself up that way, begging, burned him like fire. What’s more, for a minute he had thought she’d wanted him to discuss his feelings. And he definitely wasn’t that guy. He worked, he did his duty, but discussing what he felt—or did not feel—was for other men. Actually, indulging in those deeper emotions was for other men, too.
Still, he looked down into those pretty eyes and realized he could no longer ignore her request for a favor. His father, Clay, had died of pneumonia when he’d refused to see a doctor until it was too late. And his friend and former ranch hand, the one he’d been with these past few months … what if Hank had gone to the doctor and found his cancer sooner?
Holt swore beneath his breath.
Kathryn wrapped her arms around her abdomen as if those slender arms could protect the child inside. That single movement made him remember things, feel raw inside. He didn’t like that one bit.
But as if his swearing had unleashed something in her, she changed before his eyes. “Okay, I get it. You’re never going to help.” Her eyes flashed fire, and suddenly she didn’t look so fragile anymore. She looked a bit like a miffed tigress. “I hate to say this, Holt, but sometimes I don’t like men very much.” With an accusing look, she swung her head and turned to go, her blond hair catching on the pale pink collar of her blouse, exposing her long, slender neck. And whether it was her tigress ways or that beautiful neck, a jolt of physical awareness shot through him.
Don’t notice that, he told himself, trying to ignore the instant heat that her innocent manner and her movement had called forth in him. Don’t think of her that way. Kathryn was a woman on a mission, a woman dedicated to passionate causes, and a woman with a baby on the way. She wasn’t in the market for anything short-lived or based on physical chemistry alone, while he wasn’t open to anything more. He didn’t get involved with women who wanted too much from him. After Lilith, he especially didn’t get involved with pregnant women. The fact that Kathryn was both passionate and pregnant made her radioactive. A woman to steer around, not get close to.
And yet, here he was, thinking about the long, naked column of her neck and trying not to think about any more of her naked. Holt wanted to swear again. He held back.
At that moment, Blue, Holt’s German shepherd mix, wandered near. Blue was big and slobbery with a torn ear. He looked like a dog who could eat humans just for fun, and most people kept their distance when they first met him.
Kathryn bent over and held her hand out to him so he could sniff and make up his mind about her, then rubbed him behind his ears just as if he was a cute little puppy. Blue looked as if he was in ecstasy.
“He’s a killer,” Holt said, disgusted with Blue, but mostly with himself.
“I can see that. You trained him to go for the throat?”
Holt raised one brow. “I trained him for a lot of things. Right now he seems to have forgotten all of them. I guess you’re better at schmoozing than you thought.”
She glanced up quickly and evidently noticed him staring at her. A delicious pale pink climbed her throat, making him want to groan.
Kathryn quickly looked at Blue. “No, he just likes to be rubbed.”
“Who doesn’t?” Had he really said that? Oh, yeah, he had. The startled look in her eyes left no question. The woman was shocked. Just yesterday he would have been glad. But today she had made him think about things he couldn’t ignore. He was going to say yes. The truth was that he couldn’t have anyone else on his conscience. He already had a whole lot to answer for, things he struggled not to think about every day, and like it or not, he was going to have to get mixed up in Kathryn’s passionate project and do a bunch of things he didn’t like.
But two things he wouldn’t do. He wouldn’t expose his soul, his demons, that part of himself only he was privy to, by letting her know just how she’d talked him into this. And he wouldn’t let her be in control the way it had gone down with Lilith.
Time
