beat erratically in anticipation, and she turned the light on low, knowing no one else could see down the side of the house unless they were right outside. Or in Rafe’s house. It would be a private show.
Slipping her nightgown from her body, she crawled back onto the bed, lying back and drumming up the courage for what came next, when she heard a knock at the door.
“Wow, that was fast,” she commented with a grin, launching herself out of bed and grabbing her robe on the way downstairs. As she belted it, she wondered if maybe she should abandon it and answer the door naked—that would be fun, right?
It would also mean standing in her doorway with nothing on—while it was the middle of the night, you never knew who might be walking down the street. It was enough that she was naked underneath.
Her hands trembled slightly as she turned the burnished brass knob, feeling like the naughtiest girl alive for beckoning a man from her window. Swinging open the door with a smile, she stepped back, her mind blank with surprise when she didn’t find Rafe, ready and willing, but Pam, sobbing and miserable.
“Pam! What happened? Come in. Oh, my god, honey, what’s wrong?”
Pam’s makeup was streaked and her hair was disheveled, as if she’d run her hands though it repeatedly.
“I broke my shoe on your stair,” she said between sobs, and somehow Joy knew that wasn’t the source of her friend’s unhappiness.
“Come here, sit down. I’m sorry about your shoe, but what happened?”
Joy grabbed a box of tissues on the entry table and handed them to her.
Pam blew her nose noisily and took a few gulping breaths, then managed to croak out a few clear phrases, not looking or sounding like the canny, self-assured woman Joy had always known.
“Oh, Joy.” She took another deep breath, her body shaking with the effort to control her sobs. “I don’t know what’s going to happen now….”
“Listen, how about a glass of wine and we can talk?”
“I—I’m s-so sorry, to w-wake you up….”
“You didn’t—I was awake anyway, and you probably saved me from making an ass of myself.”
Pam looked at her curiously through bloodshot, tear-filled eyes, and Joy shook her head. “Not worth discussing—let me get the wine, and don’t worry, you’re sleeping here tonight.”
Joy knew her friend’s sudden appearance had saved her from making a colossal error in judgment. She didn’t like seeing Pam so upset, but she’d almost made a huge mistake.
She’d told Rafe that she wanted to take things slowly and see what happened. Five hours after saying that, she’d been ready to do a naked peep show for him from her bedroom window. Her wants, needs and desires were seriously confused, and rushing matters wasn’t going to help any.
She poured two glasses of wine, emptying the bottle that she and Rafe had opened for dinner, and handed one to Pam.
“Okay. Now, what happened?”
Joy could swear she’d never seen anyone in this much emotional pain since her mother had walked out the door on her father. Pam was usually so stalwart and strong, not letting much get to her, and Joy had always admired that. Right now, though, her friend looked completely done in.
“Oh, God, Joy. Everything is such a wreck. It was all so perfect twelve hours ago. Well, not perfect, but perfect enough, you know? If only I hadn’t gone to that stupid party …”
Joy leaned in, trying to make sense of the stream of comments.
“Something bad occurred at the party?”
“It was a disaster—well, at first it was wonderful to be out with Ted, dancing, and the place looked beautiful, with all the lights and the tree….” Pam stopped, gulping to control breaking into sobs again.
Joy grabbed more tissues. “Here. Cry away, then talk.”
Through her sobs, Pam managed to tell Joy, in detail excruciating enough that Joy completely shared her friend’s embarrassment and pain.
“That Solese! He’s such a pig—he came on to me, too, back then!”
Pam’s astonishment stemmed her tears. “Are you kidding?”
“Nope. He caught me in the kitchen at the shelter one day, I was packing some lunches, and he got in my personal space a little too much. When I asked him to back off, he asked me out. I turned him down flat, of course. He didn’t like the rejection—I think he might have gotten mad at me, but one of the residents came in, and he left.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“I never thought about it again, to be honest. He was so annoying.”
Pam nodded. “Well, his annoyance translated into a big scene tonight, and that scene might make some serious trouble for me—we could be shut down by the end of January if people stop their donations. If the papers get hold of this, maybe faster.”
Joy threw her hands up. “I don’t get it—it’s not like you house teenagers or vulnerable populations. These are grown men. Ted’s an adult, and you have an adult relationship. How is he doing in all of this?”
Joy knew she’d hit the big nerve when she saw fat tears rolling down Pam’s cheeks.
“H-he … We’re not together anymore.” The last word was choked out on another sob.
“What do you mean you’re not together? How can that be?”
“We were so angry with each other, I guess. We left, and drove down to the Seaport and walked, and he was in his ‘too bad about them, what do we care?’ mode, and I had to remind him that twelve other lives are depending on me and keeping that shelter open right now. His open declaration threatened that—who knows how bad it will be if word gets around?”
Joy sat back, pensive. Pam was in a terrible spot, and she didn’t know exactly what to say to make her feel better, so she chose her words carefully.
“I can see how you were both pushed into impossible corners. I don’t blame him for wanting to come out and say you’re together—he’s right, why should you be ashamed?” Joy said, holding a hand up to stem Pam’s quick response. “I can also see that you’re right, too—it’s about more than the two of you. You have worked so hard to make Second Chance what it is, and it’s directly responsible for how successful Ted has become. He should have realized that.”
Pam raised a hand to her face, quieter now, but seeming almost emptied out.
“He does know, which is making him feel guilty for what he did, though he shouldn’t—you know? It also means the people at the shelter will probably find out, and that could screw things up there. You know how they see me as a mother, or like a boss, at least. This could diminish me in their eyes.”
“Because you fell in love? How can they miss how wonderful this is? They would all be inspired to work for the same in life, I think.”
Pam
