I might leave, abandon them, well … Or there could be any number of responses I could imagine, none of them good.”
“All the more reason for you and Ted to provide a united front. You should talk to the residents together, explain, and Ted could make sure they understand. I think they’d be happy for you.”
Pam shrugged, draining her wine.
“It’s all too complicated. That may or may not be the right way to go. I have some people I can ask, counselors at other agencies. They can help. I don’t know if Ted and I will be getting back together—he was hurt, I was hurt, a lot of angry things were said.”
“Oh, Pam, that happens in the best of relationships. People overcome worse all the time—you know that. What’s your motto?”
Pam closed her eyes, shaking her head.
“No, come on. You know every single one of those guys who has come in has lost hope and then they find you. What do you tell them?”
“There’s no challenge so huge you can’t take it on one step at a time,” Pam repeated tiredly, a phrase she’d used a million times with others.
“And?” Joy prompted.
“Okay, okay. Sheesh. And if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.”
Joy smiled, setting her glass on the table.
“I never knew how annoying those sayings were until now,” Pam muttered, and Joy laughed.
“A joke! All is not lost if you can make a joke!” she cheerfully offered one more of the many motivational truisms she’d heard Pam share over the years. Corny as they were, they cut to the truth of things, and they worked.
“This may be more than we can—”
“Stop—no arguing for your limitations, remember?”
Pam sighed heavily, giving in. “Okay. Okay. I’ll find out tomorrow how bad it is, and we’ll get started trying to save face.”
“Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think. You could start by adopting some of Ted’s attitude—while he made an error in making his announcement when he did, he’s right. You don’t have to apologize for the fact that you’re with him. You shouldn’t.”
“I know. I’m used to giving everything I have to the shelter. I’ve done that for years, and I don’t know how to separate it all out.”
“You could start by calling Ted. You two need to talk more now that you’re calm.”
Pam nodded, her eyelids drooping.
“Time for sleep. Tomorrow is a new day,” Joy quipped and offered Pam a blanket.
“Please, stop. I can’t take any more motivation now.”
“Okay, see you in the morning.”
Pam burrowed down into the large sofa, and Joy milled around for a bit, making sure she had settled down before heading to bed.
Looking out her window, she saw the lights on in Warren’s house. Rafe was up at this late hour. Her notion of acting the temptress had her shaking her head as she crawled back into bed. Something was tipping all of their worlds sideways lately. Hell, she’d almost opened the door stark naked to her friend tonight. Poor Pam had saved her from seriously embarrassing herself. She’d have to tell her that when she was feeling better. Maybe.
As Joy lay in bed, she mulled for long minutes on whether she had actually experienced a ping of disappointment when it hadn’t been Rafe at the door, but sleep saved her from having to admit it.
9
RAFE HADN’T SLEPT AT ALL, his body and mind wired from the interaction with Joy. He’d meant what he’d said. He wanted to get to know her, to have some fun, to help her loosen up. No pressure. He’d have someone to share the holidays with, and maybe they could exert a little physical energy together. All good things.
Glancing down at the insistent morning stiffy he had thinking about it, he hoped they might be able to do that sooner rather than later. She was as wound up as he was, and ready to explode. The repressed desire inside of her and the hungry desperation of her kiss told him that they could share a very merry Christmas together, indeed.
After making his way to the shower, his eyes tired from the lack of sleep though he wasn’t as groggy as usual, he stepped under the hot water and thought about the moment by Joy’s door.
He had no doubt they would be good together, in spite of her worries. He soaped himself, wondering who had instilled such doubt in her mind about her own sexuality, and why it had taken such deep root. Whoever it was, the guy must have been a bastard. Joy kissed like an angel, he thought, remembering how soft her mouth had been, arousal shooting through him. Rinsing off, his palm curled around his cock, which was demanding attention.
As tempting as it might be, he resisted, backing off. Taking off a little steam never bothered him, but in this case, he wanted to wait—he wanted to stay in this suspended state of arousal, looking forward to what it would be like when he finally could show Joy how much fun they could have together.
His fingers moved instead to the shower dial, switching the water from hot to cold, solving the problem the old-fashioned way. Within moments he was back out, drying off and reaching for his jeans with a keen sense of expectation about seeing Joy later that day. Tonight would have to be soon enough, and in the meanwhile, he had enough house projects to keep him busy and pass the day.
As he was about to leave the house, however, Joy pulled into her driveway. He stopped and got out of the car, crossing the lawn to meet her.
“Hey—what are you doing home?”
She looked tired, as if she’d been up all night, as well. “I was going to go in late, but Ken actually told me to take a personal day—we had a great day yesterday, and he’s in a generous mood, so I took him up on it. Pam came by in the middle of the night with a problem, and I’m exhausted after staying up with her.”
“Who’s Pam?”
“Oh. A good friend. She runs the organization where I volunteer.”
“Is she still here?”
“No. She left before I got up, but I thought I’d justify my day off by making some cookies for the shelter, so I went to get some supplies.”
“That’s nice. Want help?”
She’d been talking to him over her shoulder as she was taking grocery out of the car, and finally she turned, their eyes meeting in a flash of heat.
“Um, sure,” she said, smiling. He nearly cheered out loud. Progress. “I haven’t baked anything for a while, so I can’t guarantee how successful this will be—do you know how to make cookies?”
“I know how to eat them,” he joked, taking two of the bags and walking with her toward the house.
“You can be the taste tester then. That way we’ll know that no one at the
