imminent domain or something. Latched on like there was a winning Powerball ticket in it and hurried to his car as if somebody was going to take it from him. But not before he tried to get a little sugar from the lovely Alexis.” Sherri tried not to laugh when she said it, but a few giggles crept out, anyway.
Emily made a face. “He tried to kiss you? Ewwww!”
Sherri couldn’t contain her laughter anymore. “He tried and succeeded, didn’t he?”
“He mumbled something about ‘gettin’ a little sugar from his sugar’ and before I could react his mouth was on me like a vacuum cleaner hose. I’m sure the memory of that impromptu embrace is going to haunt me for the rest of my days,” Alexis said glumly. She brightened up and added, “But he’s gonna remember it, too, because I kneed him right in his party favors. His little favors.”
Sherri was howling with mirth and Emily had joined her, but Alexis didn’t care at that point. It was a funny story, although it wasn’t a testimonial for dating in a modern world. After a few minutes, Alexis reminded Emily that she had more tales to share.
“Well, when the friends-and-family intro program didn’t bear fruit, we tried speed dating,” she reported.
Emily gave a Sherri a surprised look. “Sherri, you went speed dating?”
“No, no, no! You know I’m not going to date until Sydney is at least fifteen. I don’t have the time or the inclination to try and incorporate a man into our lives right now,” Sherri said firmly. Sydney had just turned six and Sherri was determined not to complicate her child’s life with an entourage of strange men. Alexis often told her that a few dates were hardly a parade but Sherri wouldn’t change her mind.
“Sherri didn’t participate in the speed dating. She just dragged me there and loitered around until I had to bolt,” Alexis said. “And before you ask, yes, I absolutely had to get the hell out of there.” She shuddered theatrically as she thought about the night in question. The event was held on a Wednesday evening at a popular restaurant/nightclub. The tables were arranged so the aspiring daters could face each other. In Alexis’s mind it was sort of like what purgatory would resemble.
A couple of the men she talked to seemed nice, but they didn’t strike any chords with her. One man she recognized as the husband of one of her clients. He had no idea who she was, but she definitely knew him. There was no way in the world Alexis could face sitting across from him, so she kept a keen eye on his progress. The bell rang to signal it was time to change partners.
“So I’m barely over the fact that a married man had the gall to show up at a public affair for single people when another guy sat down. He was tall, dark and handsome, believe it or not, and he was in PR or something. We actually had a decent conversation for about a minute until he said that he hoped I wasn’t a democrat. That’s when I noticed the little enamel Tea Party button on his lapel and I got up and walked out. I just couldn’t deal with it,” she said wearily. “Besides, if I’d stayed in my chair, my next ‘prospect’ would’ve been the married man.”
Sherri and Emily knew how seriously Alexis took politics and infidelity so they didn’t suggest that she had overreacted. Emily did have a question for her. “Have you ever thought about online dating?”
Alexis made a face. “Yes, I tried that, too. The results were less than stellar. I keep getting emails from boys who were too young and men who were too old. Lots of white men, for some reason. Why they found their way to a site called Mahogany Singles I don’t know, but I was their pick of the week.”
“Don’t be so close-minded,” Emily chided her. “Are you telling me you wouldn’t date a man from another race?”
“Not if he’s old enough to be my grandpa,” Alexis replied. “I don’t care about race. I just don’t want to date senior citizens. If somebody bought me a Mercedes and it was blue instead of red, I certainly wouldn’t hand back the keys,” she said. “If a man has the right qualifications, who cares what color his wrapper is? I’m just not into antiques, that’s all.”
Sherri tried not to laugh but failed. “That is so wrong, Alexis! An older man might have a lot to offer. Wisdom, maturity, sophistication…”
“Age spots, wrinkles and a lifetime supply of Viagra,” Alexis cut in sarcastically. “If you’re interested, I have several you can email. One of them looks like he played backup for ZZ Top, except his beard is longer.”
They were all laughing when Todd Wainwright came to collect his beautiful bride. Todd seemed to be perfect for Emily in every possible way. He was tall, gorgeous, brainy and he adored her. He cherished her so much that it would have been sickening had it been anyone but Emily on the receiving end of all that love. Alexis felt as if her friend deserved every wonderful thing that had come into her life and she was really happy for the two of them. They chatted for a while, until Todd announced that Emily needed to relax before dinner.
“You ladies will have to come up to see us soon,” he said. “No more flying for her before the babies get here.”
Once upon a time Emily would have had a sarcastic remark to rebut a statement like that, but all she did was smile and agree. “We’re actually cutting it close,” she said. “This is the beginning of my last trimester. I’m due in August but with twins you never know.”
Alexis and Sherri walked the couple out to their car and waved them off. Sherri gave Alexis a one-armed hug and reminded her that she had to pick up Sydney from a play date. She got into her car and buckled her seat belt, but before she drove off, she had to drop some knowledge on Alexis.
“I just figured something out today, Lexie. The reason you’re meeting the wrong men is because you don’t know what you want in the right man. You need to make a list of every single quality you desire and then you’ll know him when he finds you,” she said.
Alexis frowned. “A grocery list for a man? That doesn’t sound very romantic. It sounds kind of desperate, actually.”
“Not really. What happens when you go to the store without a list? You come home with everything except what you went to get. You have to know all the characteristics you’re looking for in a man before you throw yourself into the mating pool. And I figured something else out today, too. You really don’t want to date, you want to get married. You’re looking for a husband, not a playmate. I could see it in your eyes when you were looking at Emily and Todd.”
“No, I don’t,” Alexis sputtered.
“Yes, you do, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t want to get married. You’d make a wonderful wife and mother. But in order to get that, you need to be very specific about the man you want to see first thing every morning. When you make that list, don’t hold back. Include everything you can think of and then put one secret thing at the very bottom of the list. It has to be something that will truly touch your heart that no one else could ever guess. When you see that trait in a man, that’s how you’re gonna know he’s your mate,” Sherri said confidently.
“If you know so much about it, why aren’t you hooked up? It seems to me that you’re the one who should be on her way to married bliss, not me.” Alexis was very fond of having the last word, but so was Sherri.
“Yes, but remember there’s one big difference between you and me, chick. I don’t want to get married. Go inside and start working on your list, I’ll call you later.”
Before Alexis could marshal up a reply, Sherri was backing down
