suppose it is.” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “I still hold out hope that one day in the near future I’ll find the right person.” What had he said? His mouth flapped without control. He’d spent much of his life preoccupied with everyone but himself. Where had those feelings come from?
And yet he knew. He studied her, admiring her light brown eyes that crinkled when she smiled and her intriguing wavy hair.
“For some people that’s a real hope.” She lifted a finger. “Let me check on the time. I still need to add something to the slow cooker.” She rose and hurried away.
He watched her disappear beyond the door, as if she anticipated another question from him and was dodging it. He wished he could control his mouth and his heart. Nina looked uneasy, and he wished he knew what he could do to make their friendship as relaxed as it had been before.
He rose, perplexed, and wandered to the window, amazed that Kimmy spent so much time and patience in search of bugs. He shook his head. His patience ran amok more times than not. He should learn something from his young niece.
“I’m back.”
He turned and was struck by how lovely Nina was. She walked with an air of confidence, yet she had an amiable aura. Despite her discomfort with personal subjects, she reached out to Kimmy in a sweet manner. That’s what attracted him.
Nina joined him by the window. “I suppose we could go out and look for bugs, too.”
“Or just watch. I don’t want to ruin Kimmy’s fun.”
She chuckled. “Are you one of those men afraid of spiders?”
“I’m not talking.”
With no other comment, she stepped outside to the porch, where two canvas chairs sat on the far end. He settled into one and Nina followed. “What do you do if Kimmy’s sick or if you have to work overtime?”
He drew in a breath, hating to think of those situations. “Thank the Lord, they’ve been rare, but I had to take off work or see if I could get a neighbor to step in for me. In my previous home, I had an older woman close by who usually volunteered. She was a blessing.”
“You know I can often work at home, Doug. If you ever need someone in a pinch—”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that, but thanks for offering. I just pray that she stays healthy, and I can get off work on time. They have a latchkey program at her school so Roseanne had her in that program until she could pick her up. It was only for an hour or so.”
“If you’re sure, but just in case...” She rose and headed into the house.
His jaw sagged at her quick departure. In a moment, she reappeared and handed him a small card. He glanced at it, surprised she had a business card. “I see you’re a public relations consultant. That sounds interesting.”
“That’s why I can work from home at times. It’s a lot of computer work. As long as I get it done and it’s good, that’s all that counts.”
“Can you find me a job like that?” Feeling relief, he sensed their relationship had smoothed out again. He tucked the card into his pocket, pleased to see her cell phone number on it.
“Look, Uncle Doug.”
“I see you found a ladybug.”
“Two of them. Look.”
He slipped his arm around Kimmy and gave her a hug. “Your teacher will be very happy with all the insects you captured.”
Nina glanced at her watch. “I think it’s time to get cleaned up for dinner. The food should be ready soon.”
Doug loved Nina’s manner with Kimmy. He let the two go ahead of him before joining them inside, enveloped in a cozy feeling too often alien to him. The idea of being a family and having children wrapped around his mind and left him with a sense of wholeness. The sensation gave him pause. He’d become too enamored of Nina, and he needed to sort out his feelings. Was it her kindness to Kimmy that brought up these emotions? Or was he truly altering his attitude about relationships...and marriage?
* * *
Nina hit Save on her computer and rose. Her eyes burned from staring at the monitor. She’d worked at home all day, and in the quiet, she’d accomplished one large task for her new client, but she had more to do.
She sank into her easy chair. Though things had gone smoothly on Sunday with Doug, he hadn’t contacted her since. Four days had passed with nothing. She’d thought their friendship had solidified with her apology and Doug’s positive reaction.
When she lifted the footrest lever, she dropped back and closed her eyes, needing to sort her feelings. The word friendship struck her, but something deeper inched into her emotions. Getting involved again frightened her, and she’d set her mind to stay away from even a hint of commitment. Yet, Doug had come along and the idea of companionship cheered her. It aroused a sense of hope that Doug often talked about.
Since she’d moved to Lilac Circle, she had made friends with Angie and El and maybe that was enough. But as soon as she let the thought breathe, she knew the answer. She’d regret it if she and Doug didn’t become true friends.
Friends, even good friends, could enjoy each other’s company without calling it a date. Going to dinner together, talking on the porch, those were pleasant events without imposing two lives into one. That’s what marriage was. The willingness to give of yourself and be one. She could stand on her own without anything more than an enjoyable friendship. The idea sent tension out the window. Good friends. Best friends, maybe. Platonic. That was the word. Platonic friendship. She blew a stream of air from her lungs.
Now to believe it and act on it.
As the friendship idea drifted, Angie’s wedding came to mind. Though Angie had addressed it to her and a guest, she had mailed her RSVP indicating she would attend alone. Her shoulders heaved. Being alone at a wedding made her cringe. She would feel like an elderly maiden aunt who was parked in a chair and everyone had fun around her. What could she do to get out of it now? Illness? She could fake that, but it seemed so obvious. Her shoulder twitched again, and she veered her gaze out the window.
When she shifted her eyes, they lit on the bible. Margie’s bible. El shouldn’t have given it to her. Giving it to someone who would use it made more sense.
Yet her eyes remained on the book, and the verse she’d spotted at El’s came to mind. She flipped to the back and turned pages until she spotted the reference, and then searched through the scripture until she found the verses—Matthew 17:20.
He said: “Because you have so little faith, I tell you the truth. If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there” and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.
But who was the He referred to in the verse? She moved her eyes upward and found her answer. Jesus. Jesus said with the tiniest bit of faith nothing was impossible. How could that be? She closed her eyes. A mustard seed was minute, but she couldn’t claim to have even that amount of faith.
Her cell phone’s ringtone sounded from a distance, and she slipped the Bible onto the table, dropped the footrest and hurried to the computer
