Draining the last of her tea, she rose and set the empty cup in the kitchen, grabbed her house key and stepped outside. The quiet of the street spilled over her, as empty as her teacup. The block party had resounded with voices, children laughing and music playing on a speaker somewhere. A few people had danced in the circular area of the street.
How long had it been since she’d danced? Forever. She recalled Doug saying life had got in his way. She stood on her sidewalk, her eyes closed for a moment, picturing the friendly atmosphere of the Friday block party.
As she walked, she spotted El sitting on a wooden glider in his front yard. Though she regretted not having a treat to offer him, she headed that way. Flowers bloomed in his flower beds, and she wanted to ask about them. Maybe he could offer her ideas on what would be good to plant this time of year.
Thoughts returned again on her rudeness to Doug. She’d startled him as well as herself. Nearing El’s, she realized her motivation for coming was feeling alone. El had mentioned loneliness once, and today it overwhelmed her, a strange emotion with no solution other than to seek company. For years, she’d avoided company after Todd left, saying she didn’t care.
Her heart skipped as she neared Doug’s house. His car sat back in the driveway signaling he was home, but she saw no sign of him. She should be relieved to avoid a confrontation, but instead, a guilty sting burned through her. She’d behaved terribly.
El saw her coming and raised his hand in greeting. She waved back, glad for the distraction. As she stepped onto his lawn, he rose, planting his feet on the ground while hoisting himself from the glider without losing his balance.
He grinned. “How are you this fine Sunday?”
She nodded at his welcome and ambled toward him, hoping to look casual and not unnerved. “Beautiful day, isn’t it?”
“Couldn’t ask the Lord for better.”
The reference helped her understand El’s ways. He lived by the rules that people of the church took for granted. She’d known a few things about faith once, but she’d let her curiosity die. Had her divorce triggered her hopelessness? She couldn’t recall what ended her interest. Yet she sometimes envied those who had faith. They lived with the philosophy that life never ended. This world was only a stepping stone to something better. The idea that life held more than the here and now, though strange, had a comfortable ring to it. A spark warmed her again.
El patted the seat on the swing. “Join me a minute.” He grasped the arm and sank back onto the slats.
With her growing curiosity, she did as he suggested and sank beside him. “You have pretty flowers, El.” She twisted on her hip to face him. “You don’t mind that I call you El?”
“Mind.” He tossed his head back with a chuckle. “That’s my name, and I’m hanging on to it.”
He made her grin. “Okay, then. In case you forgot, I’m Nina.”
“Pretty name. I wouldn’t forget that one.” He gave her arm a pat. “Thank you for mentioning the flowers. My wife always urged me to plant flowers. I was smart enough to learn that urging was one of those things that women did rather than just demand their husbands do it.”
This time she chuckled. “Did your wife have favorite flowers?”
“She sure did. She loved the ones that came up year after year. That’s mainly what you’re looking at—daisies, coneflowers, asters, and those purple ones are called catmint. I added a few geraniums. They’re faithful flowers, growing in nearly every environment.” He winked. “They’re not fussy.”
“That’s one of the few flowers I know by name. But now I recognize the white daisies.”
“Coneflowers are the colorful ones there.” He pointed to a bed of daisy-like blossoms. “Pretty things in so many colors.”
“I want to do some planting. I have a few clumps of flowers in the front. I’m not sure what they are, but...” She relaxed against the seat back. “I finally have my new house organized.” She eyed him. “Sort of.”
He chuckled, his gaze washing across her face as if he had questions but didn’t ask.
“How did your meal go with Birdie on Friday?”
“Fine. I think she appreciated the company and that I accepted her invitation.” He chuckled again. “She asked if we could eat together, but she didn’t have a table or chairs. That means she sort of urged me to ask her.” His eyes glinted with his joke before he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, hands woven together. “Birdie’s been standoffish until recently. That’s a lonely life for a woman who still has years to enjoy each day.”
His words swept over her. “To be honest, El, I’ve been somewhat that way, too.”
He nodded while a faint crooked grin grew on his face. “I sensed that, Nina. You know, whatever happened in your past is just that. It’s passed. Ahead of you is a future, but you have to participate in it.” He stopped and shook his head. “This is just ramblings of an old man, but sometimes I see things and...” He sat a moment his head hanging. “I see you and sense you have regrets and sorrows that you’re clinging to. Ask yourself if they’re worth it.”
Worth it? Though his first words rankled, she forced herself to listen, and a sense of possibility hung over her, nebulous but there.
“Please forgive me. How you live your life is none of my business. Birdie got in trouble nosing around other people’s lives, and I’m doing the same thing.”
She touched his arm and squeezed. “El, you’re not a gossip. You’re not spreading rumors. You’re talking to me like a father might. That’s something I never had.” The admission spilled ice water through her body. “You’re right. I had a bad marriage, and I have other issues that formed my judgment. Marrying again is basically not a possibility. I guess the reality makes me a little empty...and what you just said. Lonely.”
“Nothing could be so bad it stops you from falling in love again. Are you sure marriage is out of the question?”
His tender look rent her heart. “I’m sure. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to talk about it. I know how I feel, and I think that’s how it will be.” Without warning, her gaze flashed back down the block toward Doug’s. Her pulse skipped when she spotted him outside with Kimmy.
“Then I’ll pray for you to find an answer to your problem, Nina. Do you pray?”
His question stopped her. She almost felt ashamed to answer him. “I’ve never learned to pray.”
“You don’t learn it, Nina. What are we doing right now?”
She eyed him, trying to decipher what he meant. Thoughts surged. They had talked about the flowers, her attitude toward marriage. “We’ve talked about a lot of things.”
“Yes. That’s it.”
“That’s it?” Her head spun. “Talking?”
“Yep. Prayer is just talking to God. Tell Him about your day. Ask Him for answers to your questions. Thank Him for His blessings. And then listen.”
“Listen?
