heartache this man had caused...
He looked a little different from the way she was used to seeing him. Back then he’d been fresh-faced, his dark hair longer and more tousled. Today his hair was cut shorter than she remembered, more modern, and he had a trim beard that was as auburn in colour as her own hair. And he was staring at her with as much shock in his own eyes as she was feeling.
But I’m not going to let you see how much you hurt me!
Deliberately she tore her gaze from him, tried to ignore her need to hurry to the bathroom and slick on a few more layers of antiperspirant, and walked over to one of the other hikers—a woman in a dark green polo shirt.
‘Hi, I’m Beau. Pleased to meet you.’
She turned her back on him, sure that she could feel his gaze upon her. Her body tensed, each muscle flooded with more adrenaline than it needed as she imagined his gaze trailing up and down her body.
Resisting the urge to turn around and start yelling at him, she instead tried to focus on what the other hiker was saying.
‘...it’s so good to meet you! I’m glad there’s another woman in the group. There’s three of us now.’
Beau smiled pleasantly. She hadn’t caught the woman’s name. She’d been too busy trying not to grind her teeth, or clench her fists, whilst her brain had screamed at her all the horrible things she could say to Gray. All the insults, all the toxic bile she had once dreamed of throwing at him...
All the pain and heartache he’d caused...she’d neatly packaged it away. Determined to get on with her life, to forget he’d ever existed.
What was he even doing here? Surely he wasn’t going to be on this course, too?
Of course he is. Why else would he be in this room?
Months this trip had taken her to plan and organise. Once she’d realised that she needed a change, needed to escape that cabin fever feeling, she’d pored over brochures, surfed the Net, checking and rechecking that this was the perfect place, the perfect course, the perfect antidote to what her life had become.
It was far enough away from home—from Oxford, where she lived and worked—for her to know that she wouldn’t run into anyone she knew. Who did she know anyway? Apart from her family and patients? And her colleagues? How many of them had planned a trip to Yellowstone at the same time as her? None. The chances of him doing the same thing, for the same week as her... Well, it had never even crossed her mind.
Why would it? She’d spent years forcing herself to not think of Gray McGregor. The damned Scot with the irrepressible cheeky grin and alluring come-to-bed eyes!
Eleven years. Nearly twelve. That’s how long it’s been.
Eleven years of silence. Why had he never contacted her? Apologised? Explained?
Like I’d want to hear it now anyway!
Outwardly she was still smiling, still pretending to listen to the other hiker, but inwardly... Inwardly a small part of her did want to hear what he had to say. No matter how pathetic it might be. Part of her wanted him grovelling and on his knees, begging for her forgiveness.
I’ll never forgive you, Gray.
Beau straightened her shoulders, inhaled a big, deep breath and focused on the other hiker—Claire. She was talking about some of the trails she’d walked—the Allegheny, the Maah Daah Hey.
Focus on her, not him.
‘That’s amazing. You walked those trails alone?’
‘Usually! I think you can take in so much more when you’ve just got to entertain yourself.’
Was he still looking at her? Was he thinking of coming over to speak to her? Beau stiffened at the thought of him approaching.
‘What made you come on this course?’ she asked.
‘Common sense. A lot of walkers I meet on trails are...shall we say, older than me? And when I was walking the Appalachian, this guy collapsed right in front of me. In an instant. I didn’t know what to do! Luckily one of his group was an off-duty responder and he kept the guy alive until the rescue team arrived. You never know when you’re gonna be stuck in the middle of nowhere with no medical assistance!’
Beau nodded.
‘What about you, Beau? What made you come on this course?’
‘I just wanted to get out and about, walking again. Somewhere beautiful. But somewhere I can still learn something. I want to work in the hospital tent on Everest at some point.’
‘Oh, my Lord! You’re braver than me! Are you a nurse, then?’
‘A doctor. Of neurology.’
‘My, my, my! You’ll no doubt put us all to shame! Promise you won’t laugh at my attempts to bandage someone?’
Beau didn’t think she’d be laughing at anyone. The mood of her trip had already changed. Just a few moments ago she’d been carefree and breathing in the mountain air, assuring herself that she’d made the right decision to come here. But now...? With Gray here, too?
She would make him see that she was not amused by his presence. She wasn’t anything! She had no energy to waste on that man. He’d been given more than enough of her time over the years and her life had moved on now. She was no longer the heartbroken Beau whom he had left standing at the altar. She was Dr Judd. Neurologist. Recommended by her peers. Published in all the exclusive medical journals. Award-winning, innovative and a leader in her field.
She would have nothing to do with him this next week, and if he didn’t like her cold shoulder, then tough.
Beau slipped off her backpack, put it to one side and went to make herself a cup of tea at the drinks station. It would probably be the last decent cup of tea she’d experience for a while, and she didn’t want to miss having it. They had time before they set out.
She kept her back to the rest of the room, studiously ignoring Gray.
He would have to get used to it.
* * *
Yellowstone National Park. Over three thousand miles away from his native Edinburgh. He’d travelled over the North Atlantic Ocean, traversed mile upon mile of American soil to make it here to Wyoming, this one small spot on the face of the whole planet, and yet... And yet somehow he had managed to find the one small log cabin in the huge vastness of a national park that contained the one woman he could not imagine facing ever again.
Why would he ever have expected to find her here? This wasn’t her thing. Being outdoors. Hiking. Roughing it in tents and having to purify her water before drinking it. Beau was an indoors girl. A five-star hotel kind of girl. Life for her had never been about struggle and survival. This should have been a safe place to come to. The last place he would have expected her to be. Wasn’t she a hotshot neurologist now? Wasn’t she meant to be knee-deep in brains somewhere?
Seeing her walk into the room had almost stopped his heart. He’d physically felt the jolt, unable to take in oxygen. His lungs had actually begun to burn before
