hand trembling, and took another sip of her tea. Then another. And another. Until her stomach calmed and her hand grew more steady.
She let out a breath, feeling her brain frazzled with a million thoughts and emotions.
This course was meant to be an enjoyable busman’s holiday for her. Could she do it with him here?
There’s thirteen of us, including the guide. Surely I can just stay out of Gray’s way?
Beau had been looking forward to this adventure for ages. This was the moment her career and her life would take another direction and lead her to places she had never dared to go.
She’d thought about it carefully. Planned it like a military exercise. She’d excelled in her hospital work and was top of her game in neurology. Other neurologists who felt they could do no more to help their patients would suggest her as the patient’s next course of action. She was very often someone’s last chance at life.
And she excelled, knowing that. She lived for it. The staying up late, the research, the practice, the robotic assistance that she sometimes employed, the long, long and challenging surgeries. The eye for detail. The precision of her work.
Awards lined her office walls at home in Oxfordshire. Commendations, merits, honorary degrees. They were all there. But this...
This was what she craved. A week of living by her wits, experiencing medicine in the wild, using basic kit to attend to fractures, altitude sickness, tissue injuries, whilst hiking through some of the most stunning scenery on the planet.
Forget technology—forget the latest medical advancements. There would be no security blanket here. No modern hospital, no equipment apart from a few basics carried in a first aid kit and what she could find around her.
It was perfect.
Even if he was here.
High grey-white mountains, lush expanses of sweeping green and purple, firs and shrubs, thickets of trees hiding streams and geysers. It was a vast emptiness, an untamed wilderness in all its glory, and she would try to beat it. No. Not beat it. Work with it, around it, adapt it to her needs so she could succeed and get another certificate for her wall. Another trophy so that she could think about applying for Base Camp, Everest. So she could work at the hospital there.
That small medical tent, perched on the base of one of the world’s greatest wonders—that was her real aim. Her next anticipated accomplishment.
And there was no way she was going to let all that be ruined by the one man she’d once stupidly fallen in love with and given her heart to. The one man who had broken her into a million pieces. Pieces she still often felt she was still picking up.
She was still trying to prove to the world that she did have value. That she was the best choice. The only choice. His rejection of her had made her a driven woman. Driven to succeed at everything. To prove that he’d made a mistake in his choice of leaving her behind. To prove her worth.
Because I’m worth more than you, Gray. And I’ll prove it to you.
* * *
‘Yellowstone National Park is a vast natural preserve, filled with an ecosystem and diverse wildlife that, if you’re not careful, is designed to kill you.’
Mack, the ranger leading their group, tried to make eye contact with each person standing in the room.
‘There is danger in the beauty of this place, and too many people forget that when they come here and head off-trail. They’re so in awe of the mountains, or the steaming hot geysers, or the dreamlike beauty of a wild wolf pack loping across the plains, that they forget to be careful. To look where they’re going. We are going to be traversing land millions of years old, trying to be at one with nature, but most of all we are here to learn how to look after one another with the minimum of resources. Yes, this could be done in a classroom, but...’ he paused to smile ‘...where would be the fun in that?’
There was some laughter, and Gray noticed Beau smile. It was exactly the way he remembered it, lighting up her blue eyes.
‘Each of you will be issued with a standard first aid kit. When you receive it, you need to check it. Make sure it’s all there. That’s your responsibility. Then we’re going to buddy up. The buddy system works well. It ensures that no one on this adventure goes anywhere in the park alone and that there is always someone watching your back.’
The likelihood of Gray being paired up with Beau was remote. And he certainly wasn’t sure if it was something he wanted. But he caught her glancing in his general direction and wondered if she’d thought the same thing. Probably.
Mack continued. ‘Today we’re going to be hiking twelve miles across some rough terrain to reach the first scenario, where we will be dealing with soft tissue injuries. These are some of the most common injuries we see as rangers, here or at the medical centres, and we need to know what to do when we have nothing to clean a wound or any useful sterile equipment. Now, one final thing before we buddy up... We will not be alone in this park. There are wild animals that we’re all going to have to learn to respect and get along with or stay out of their way. I’m sure you all know we’ve got wolves and grizzlies here. But there are also black bears, moose, bobcats and elk, and the one animal that injures visitors more than bears...the American bison.’
He looked around the room, his face serious.
‘You see one of those bad boys...’ he pointed at a poster on the wall behind him ‘...with his tail lifted, then you know he’s going to charge. Keep your distance from the herds. Stay safe.’
Gray nodded. It wasn’t just bison he’d have to watch out for, but Beau, too. She didn’t have horns to gore him with, but she certainly looked at him as if she wanted him dead.
She was angry with him, and for good reason. He had walked away from their wedding and it had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. Knowing that she would be left with the fallout from his decision. Knowing that he was walking away from the one woman who’d loved him utterly and completely.
But life had been difficult for him back then, and there was a lot that Beau didn’t know. All she’d seen—all he’d allowed her to see—was the happy-go-lucky, carefree Gray. The cheeky Scot. But the man she’d fallen in love with hadn’t existed. Not really. It had been a front to hide the horrible atmosphere at his home, the problems within his own family: his father’s drinking, his mother’s depression, the constant fights...
Gray’s parents had hated each other. Resented each other. His mother had been trapped by duty with a man she detested. With a man who had suffered a tragic paralysing accident on the actual day she’d decided to pack her bags and leave him.
Being in the same house as them had been torture, watching and listening as they had systematically torn each other apart. Each of them trapped by marriage. An institution that Gray had vowed to himself never to get involved with.
‘Love fades, Gray. Once that honeymoon period is over, then you see your partner’s true colours.’
He could hear his mother’s bitter words even now.
So why had he ruined it all by proposing to Beau? He hadn’t wanted to get married—ever! And yet being with Beau had made him so happy.
The day he’d proposed they’d been laughing, dancing
