style="font-size:15px;"> He shouldn’t have left her to wake by herself, because something had happened to set off her doubts. He shouldn’t have stood there silently judging her when she still hadn’t told him her fears about the birth. These were huge fears for her, and she’d needed to feel totally safe before she shared them. He’d needed to earn that trust. And now she’d run away because she was used to being alone. Because she thought she still was.
That broke his heart.
How could he expect her to open up to him the way he wanted when he hadn’t done the same? He’d shut her out from how he really felt. So often when they’d verged on true intimacy he’d turned things physical. Kept her close, but kept that last bit of himself distant. Safe. Until last night.
Those kids he’d seen at the hospital today kept on fighting. They faced things far more fearful. He’d been a coward. After that day on the beach he’d been too proud to chase her—in reality he’d been too much of a chicken. Because he’d been as freaked out by the intensity of that afternoon as she had. Only he hadn’t been man enough to admit it—not even to himself.
Then fate had given him a second chance, and he’d gladly taken advantage of it.
Yet he’d still screwed it up.
So he’d damn well find her. But as soon as he knew she was okay he’d set her free. If she still wanted to, she could live overseas. He’d find her a safe haven. His heart tore at the thought of letting her go, but he’d do whatever was necessary to ensure her happiness.
‘You all right? You’re breathing funny.’
The General was staring at him as if he’d grown an extra head.
‘I need to find her.’
‘You should already know where she is,’ her father said. ‘She’s where she always goes when she needs time to think.’
She wanted to think? Hope bubbled up within him. If she needed to think then it might not be too late.
Now he tried to think. Stella’s answer to everything was exercise. She always went for a run. Or a swim.
The answer hit like a lightning bolt and he almost laughed at the simplicity. The obviousness. More hope bubbled. He didn’t deserve her if he wasn’t right. If he took the Maserati he could get there in less than half an hour...
But his way out of the palace was blocked by his brother, standing in the high-studded, gilded atrium, clad in an Armani tuxedo and adjusting a gleaming cufflink.
‘Are you ready?’ Antonio scowled at Eduardo’s jeans.
He’d forgotten about the opening night of the freaking opera and the damn politicians he was supposed to schmooze. ‘Antonio, I can’t right now.’
His brother looked implacable. ‘All I need you to do is—’
‘I can’t go with you.’ Eduardo interrupted shortly.
His brother’s expressionless eyes narrowed. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘It’s Stella. She’s gone.’
‘Already?’
‘Be human!’ Eduardo shouted. ‘Be human for one goddamn minute.’
Antonio stood so rigid he looked as if he’d been cast in metal.
‘I’m sorry that you lost Alessia.’ Eduardo gazed at his brother and offered his wretched apology. ‘I am so sorry I never told you she was sick. I will always be sorry that I never told you.’
His lungs hurt with the effort of breathing. With the effort of not pushing past Antonio and combing the streets in a desperate, hopeless, fear-filled search.
‘I know you put the Crown first. But I’m not you. I can’t do that. Stella comes first for me now and she always will. I can’t be here. I can’t do this. I have to go after her.’
As he went to go past him Antonio gripped his arm with a vice-like hand. Eduardo turned and looked into his brother’s face. They almost stood eye to eye.
‘I don’t blame you for my not going to see Alessia sooner.’ Antonio spoke with quiet, lethal intensity. ‘I could have gone. So many times. And I didn’t. That was my decision. My fault. My guilt.’
Eduardo shook his head. ‘I should have told you. I should have made you go. I should have been a better brother. To you and to her.’
A muscle jerked in Antonio’s jaw. But then he lifted his hand and ruffled Eduardo’s hair in that old tease of years ago. ‘It’s still too long, but it suits you.’ He released Eduardo with a small, wry smile. ‘Go. Get out of here. Do what’s right.’
Eduardo heard Antonio’s quiet words behind him as he strode away.
‘Do what I didn’t.’
THE TIDE HAD TURNED. Waves rushed higher. In another hour there’d only be a narrow strip of dry sand left at the base of the cliff. She needed to walk back around the rocks to the bay. She wasn’t going to risk free-climbing up the cliff now she had a baby on board.
She splashed in the water, her sandals wet. Her father’s man was waiting around the next bay, ready to drive her wherever she wanted to go. She just had to decide where that was going to be.
To Eduardo? Or to anonymity on an island a thousand miles away from this one?
She knew where he’d gone. Her father had told her. And even though it was for a good cause it had made her angrier. She’d have gone with him if he’d asked her to. If he’d told her. But he hadn’t asked. And she hadn’t said anything either. She hadn’t told him so much. Neither of them had.
That was when it finally hit her. Everything that was wrong with her father was also wrong with her. She’d been so uncommunicative it was unfair.
She could create a good life for herself here. She could be brave. She could tell Eduardo she’d fallen for him and ask him to be gentle when he wanted out of their marriage. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t love her. He desired her. He respected her. Couldn’t that be enough to make this a success?
Not if she kept acting like a sulky, spoilt child.
She’d spent her life trying to please her father, instead of letting it go and just being herself. Pleasing herself. Her life could have been so much richer if she hadn’t tried to control herself and remained so intensely focused on that one goal. She’d been without friends and lonely for so long because she hadn’t let people in. She could have joked with some of her fellow soldiers about the General being her dad. Instead she’d isolated herself by trying to prove herself for so long.
Eduardo was lonely and isolated too. Mired in that conflict between duty and desire. As Giulia had said, they had much in common.
So
