baby. Her fears had been for herself. She’d been in lust with him from the start, but once she’d got to know him she’d fallen hard, and it hurt to know he didn’t feel the same. But she had to grow up—she was stronger than this. She had to go back.
She turned, walking ankle-deep into the water again to walk around the bay. But she’d taken only a few paces when she saw him splashing towards her. His jeans were half soaked, his hair a tousled mess, but he looked magnificent. Fiery, full of energy, he almost crackled as he moved. He strode towards her, his arms lifting as if he was about to pull her hard against him. Only he checked himself, lowering his hands and shoving them into his pockets. He opened his mouth, but then blew out a deep breath rather than saying anything.
‘Did he tell you where I was?’ she asked.
‘No. He didn’t let you down.’ He looked at her sodden sandals and the wet half of her skirt. ‘You’ve been swimming?’
She shook her head. ‘The rip is too strong, I wouldn’t want to get carried away.’
He nodded, his eyes hollowed and burning. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Why are you here?’ Her heart stalled while she waited for his answer.
‘I’m sorry you have to ask that.’ He splashed closer. ‘I’m so sorry, Stella.’
Her heart pounded, pushing hope in small pulses around her body. ‘My father told me where you went this afternoon. Your private schedule. The hospital. He said you call in there all the time. That you know some of the kids really well.’ Her voice faded.
‘Don’t go thinking I’m any kind of hero,’ he said. ‘I only do it because it makes me feel good.’
‘Because you like them fawning over you? It’s some ego trip?’
He pressed his lips together again. She knew he wasn’t going to defend himself against the stupid suggestion. And that was so typical of him.
‘I know it’s not that,’ she said softly. ‘I think it’s because you like to see them smile.’
He liked to see lots of people smile. He was kind that way.
‘It’s nothing, Stella,’ he muttered.
‘It’s not nothing.’ She hated it that he belittled what he did. That he didn’t believe in himself. What he did mattered to so many.
For a second he looked so vulnerable it broke her heart all over again.
‘You mostly spend time with the young adults. The ones like Alessia,’ she added. ‘That can’t be easy for you.’
‘It’s—’
‘Don’t say it’s nothing again, or I’ll have to hurt you.’
A smile glimmered in his eyes, then it faded. ‘I can’t ever make it right.’
Was he always going to punish himself for that? ‘You were young, and it wasn’t a fair secret you’d been asked to keep.’
‘There’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have told my girlfriend.’
‘You should have been able to trust her. It’s good to be able to talk to the people you love. To share your burdens... She was in the wrong. Not you.’
And he’d been paying for that mistake ever since. That was why he did everything his brother asked of him. Why he didn’t push for more freedom. He didn’t think he deserved it. He felt he owed.
‘He is the loneliest person, and there is so little I can do to help him.’ Eduardo lifted his head and looked directly into her eyes. ‘Why did you leave? You want to leave San Felipe for good?’
‘Not San Felipe.’ She gazed up at him, her heart melting, and yet now the moment was here she was more scared than ever in her life before.
‘Me,’ he said heavily. ‘You don’t want the baby to end up like me.’
‘No...’ she whispered, shocked that he’d ever think that. ‘I thought I needed—’
‘You need—’ Eduardo interrupted, then pulled up short. For a second that old arrogance flashed over his face. But then it faded. ‘I don’t want to fight this any more, Stella. I surrender.’
She stared for a moment. ‘Surrender what?’ She suddenly lost the battle to contain her emotions. ‘Our marriage? What you want for the baby?’ Had he given up on her already?
‘No. Neither of those things. Or both of them, if that’s what you want.’ He stopped and shrugged. ‘The decision is yours, Stella. Our future is in your hands.’
‘What?’ The faintest whisper.
His hands gripped her cold ones. ‘I was so angry when I found out you were pregnant. Because you hadn’t told me. You hadn’t come to me. You were just going to walk away and not let me have any kind of say—’
‘I hadn’t even had a chance to think about what I was going to do,’ she interrupted.
‘I know that now, but back then I’d made my plan and I thought it was perfect. I thought I could control what was between us—lust. Controllable. Finite. It always has been before. And I thought I could control you. The palace officials wanted either Antonio or me to marry—but it was always going to be me. This way I got to present them with a fait accompli before they started parading prospective brides in front of me. My woman, with an heir already on the way and an end in sight when we’d had enough. I thought I’d risen above that anger and turned the situation to my advantage. The perfect solution.’
He squeezed her hands gently.
‘But I hadn’t thought through the impact of any of it on you. I hadn’t thought about your needs at all. I was so arrogant. What woman wouldn’t want to be my Princess, right? What an honour...what an amazing lifestyle... And a fat pay-off waiting for her at the end as long as she kept quiet and obedient. I thought I was doing you the biggest favour and that you should be grateful.’ He grimaced. ‘I was an asshole. I’m sorry.’
‘I did want to be your Princess,’ she said quietly. ‘I liked it.’
‘But it’s not what you wanted.’ He looked down. ‘I’m not what you wanted.’
‘I slept with you within ten seconds of meeting you,’ she reminded him with a wry smile. ‘How can you say you’re not what I wanted?’
His lips twisted, but it was a sad-edged smile. ‘Lust.’
‘Uncontrollable,’ she whispered bravely. ‘Infinite.’
‘Stella—’ He lifted one hand to cup her jaw.
‘It was a good plan.’ She overrode him, speaking quickly, because she needed to have her say before he said something that would stop her. She feared his pity more than anything. ‘In some ways it was the only possible plan.’
‘But you left.’
Again.
