flicker of emotion momentarily clouded his features, and Kat thought Luke was about to lose his cool. For a second, his eyes held hers and she saw such pain in their depths that it suddenly occurred to her that maybe Luke Travis was scared...but scared of what? His steely demeanor returned and he looked away.
“Don’t get too far ahead, children,” she called, increasing her pace.
They all waited for her and Luke to catch up before heading onto the narrow pathway that ran up the cliff to Flight. To her surprise, Ben fell in beside her, his small hand shyly clasping hers. She closed her fingers around his, then glanced back at Luke. He was watching them intently, his mouth set into a grim line. She felt a jolt of sympathy for him. She couldn’t help thinking that perhaps beneath his tough exterior was a man who was more than a bit out of his depth.
* * *
WHEN THEY ARRIVED back at Flight, squelching in through the imposing front door of the large, converted country house, Hilda, the pleasant, round-faced care worker, was horrified by the state of them.
“You go and get a shower, and I’ll see to the others,” she told Kat. Luke had stalked off somewhere the moment they’d stepped inside. “It’s nearly teatime, anyway. And Ben needs a shower, too, by the looks of him. What happened—did you fall in the sea or something?”
Ben squirmed, shamefaced, and Kat smiled. “Something like that,” she said. When the little boy flashed her a grateful glance, warmth flooded her heart. Luke Travis might be his dad, but he was wrong about Ben. It was love the boy needed, not discipline. Shame he couldn’t see that.
Kat went to shower and change, unable to get the day’s events out of her mind. What had happened between Luke and his son, and how come they’d had so little to do with each other up until now? She knew the basics of Ben’s behavioral problems—he wouldn’t be at Flight at all if he hadn’t had issues at home with his grandparents, who were his official guardians. She just wasn’t sure where Luke came in or why he hadn’t been involved in the boy’s life until now.
Hot water warmed and soothed her. She stretched up her arms and closed her eyes, raising her face to the deluge, trying to relax. But Luke Travis’s angry expression wouldn’t leave her mind. His brown eyes had been so dark and fierce. What if he did complain about her to Tim or Mike?
Well, just let him try, she decided, as she piled her wet hair on top of her head and reached for a towel. She had done nothing wrong. She was here to do a job and she wasn’t about to let him interfere with her courses. She’d already proved that her sea therapy worked; getting children to understand nature, the constant, timeless rhythm of life and the tide’s ebb and flow helped give them a sense of belonging to something bigger than their everyday lives...helped them heal. Luke Travis should be attending her courses as a student, not as a critic; it might do him a world of good to stop and take stock of what really mattered in life.
It wasn’t until much later, curled up in bed with the moonlight streaming in through her window, that Kat’s thoughts went back to her own issues. Her past was always there, waiting for a chance to remind her why she’d started working with troubled children in the first place. And as she drifted to sleep, her subconscious took over, taking her back to the day when her whole life turned on its head, ripping away her childhood...
She was trying to hurry, but her legs refused to do as they were told, as if she was wading through water. Ahead of her the cottage she’d called home for almost fifteen years seemed to loom out at her, its windows strangely sad and empty when normally they shone, bright and inquisitive, as if enjoying their glorious view of the sea that stretched out before them to meet the sky. She had always felt that the cottage had its moods and today it was angry with her; she could feel it in her bones. And all because she’d stayed late after school for once, to play in the park with the normal kids who didn’t have to rush home every day to care for their sad, crazy mothers.
The song of the sea filled her ears with its familiar, rhythmic swish as she stepped through the front door. Her heart thudded loudly in the silence of the small sitting room. Her mother’s lumpy figure was slumped on the sofa, eyes wide-open, gazing into nowhere...
And then the screaming started, the screaming that went on and on and on...
Kat sat up in the darkness with the screaming still ringing inside her head. Guilt and horror seemed to pin her to the bed. She forced herself to breathe; it was a dream, just a dream.
Moonlight slid in through the window, calming her, bringing back reality. She’d never truly escape that nightmare, though; it was a memory. Her mother had died because she had left her all alone, upsetting the routine that kept her sane and sending her over the edge.
Thanks to all the counseling she’d had afterward, Kat understood that it wasn’t her fault and that she had to stop blaming herself. She’d been barely fifteen, a child who should never have had the responsibility of caring for a mother who was suffering from depression. There were times, like tonight, however, when the dreams came back to haunt her, casting out her common sense and forcing her to relive the agony of that day.
She tried to look on the bright side. The dream always reminded her why she’d followed the path that had finally led her here, to Flight. For she had been one of those lost, confused kids who had no stability in their lives. By becoming a child therapist, she’d been able to give something back. It had helped to ease the sorrow and guilt that she knew would hang over her forever, no matter what anyone said.
AFTER HER DISAGREEMENT with Luke, Kat felt relieved to be off work the next day. Determined to put their unpleasant incident out of her head, she decided to head down to the shore, hoping to get new ideas for her sea sessions. Despite her positive attitude, however, as she wandered along the line of flotsam and jetsam she couldn’t help but remember the threats he’d made about reporting her incompetence. She needed to see Mike and explain what had happened before Luke gave his version...assuming he hadn’t already done so. Even if he had, she could still share her side of things.
Kat turned her face into the wind and breathed in its salty tang, listening to the sounds and smells and waiting for them to smooth away her troubles. Today, though, her “seaside fix” just didn’t seem to work. In fact, it had the opposite effect, taking her back yet again to the bleak and empty phase of her life she’d tried so hard to forget.
Her mother used to tell her that she was selfish and irresponsible, and sometimes, deep down, Kat couldn’t help wondering if it was true. The familiar guilt gnawed at her gut. What if Luke was right? What if she had been too lax with Ben? Perhaps she should have been watching over the children more stringently...and perhaps she should have watched over her mother better. The thought made her feel fifteen again, and she shuddered.
The voices inside her head that had shouted at her then, blaming her for her mother’s death, were now mostly just a whisper in her memory, except when the dreams came to haunt her as they had last night.
Those voices had been stilled by the soothing song of the sea on that awful day as she’d waited down on the shore for someone to answer her emergency call. Her quickly fading footprints in the sand had made her feel invisible, bringing comfort. But she hadn’t truly been invisible because the paramedics had soon found her, speaking in quietly caring, low, soothing tones that held a hushed urgency. How long have you been your mother’s carer? Do you have any other relatives? Where does your father live?
She’d screamed at them to shut up, her hands clamped tight across her ears. They’d
