she wasn’t his type. And again, not appropriate.
Iris favored tailored clothing in black or taupe. From the little he’d seen of Sunshine, she was a jeans and T-shirt kind of woman. She ate cereal out of the box, had no problem lying on the floor to play checkers with Connor and hadn’t protested an ant farm in the house. Again—not Iris.
Not that he wanted anyone to be Iris. His wife had been his first real love and with her gone, he would never be the same. He wasn’t thinking he couldn’t care about someone again, he had no idea about that, he just knew he didn’t want an Iris replacement.
“You and Connor get along well,” he said.
She smiled. Two simple words that in no way captured the transformation from reasonably pretty to stunning. Declan hoped he didn’t look as stupefied as he felt. After all, he’d seen her smile before. He should be used to it, and yet, he was not.
“He’s adorable. How could you not totally fall for him? He’s a serious kid, but also funny and kind. I know he misses his mom, but he’s dealing. We talk about her whenever he wants to. I know he’s going to therapy and I’m hoping it helps. Obviously the therapist doesn’t say anything to me, but I would say he’s coping well.”
Her appreciation of his kid relaxed him. “Connor’s special,” he said, then looked at the open folder on the desk and decided to be blunt. “I wasn’t sure if I should hire you.”
Instead of getting defensive, she laughed. “I could say the same thing about you. I was hoping to go to work for a high-powered single mom, but the director at the agency talked me into meeting Connor and then I was a goner.”
She pointed to the folder. “Is that about me?”
He nodded.
Her full mouth twisted. “Let me guess. The report says I’m terrific with kids. I like them and they like me. I show up on time, I cook, I help with homework, I’m a safe driver. When there’s an emergency, I’m nearly always available. But...” She looked at him. “There’s a very good chance one day I’ll simply disappear with almost no warning. I’m gone and you’re stuck.” She shrugged. “Does that about sum it up?”
Her honesty surprised him. Was it a tactic or genuine? He had no idea.
She sighed. “It’s true. All of it. I’ve walked away from at least a half dozen jobs. I would meet a guy and fall for him and he’d want me to go with him and I would. Just like that.”
“Go with him?”
The smile returned, although with less gut-hitting power. “I tend to fall for men who have unusual occupations or who don’t live wherever I am. A guy in a rock band, a travel photographer, a professional tennis player. One time the family I was working for took me with them to Napa. I met a guy who owned a restaurant and when the family went home, I stayed. On the bright side, he taught me how to cook.”
She looked away. “I was young and reckless and I don’t want do that anymore.” Her gaze returned to him. “I won’t bore you with the details. Let’s just say I woke up alone in a hotel room in London with no job, no boyfriend, no prospects. I flew home and moved in with my sister, then got a couple of jobs because hey, the nanny thing wasn’t working for me or the kids.”
He wasn’t sure what he’d expected to hear, but it wasn’t this. “So why are you back being a nanny now?”
“I’m good at it and I need the money. I want to do something with my life. Get an education, have a retirement account, be normal. Working as a nanny allows me to pay for school, have time to study and not have to worry about rent. I want to keep my head down and be smart. No more loser guys. I don’t want to be that girl anymore.”
The smile returned, leaving him just as speechless as before.
“More than you wanted to know,” she said. “I’m being honest. You have no reason to believe any of this. You don’t know me, which is kind of the point of the conversation, right? But I’m committed to Connor. I’m not going to walk away from him.”
“Because you’re not that girl anymore?”
“That’s the reason.”
It was too much information and he didn’t know what to do with it all. She was right—he had no reason to believe her, and yet he did. Was that dumb on his part or intuition? He had no idea.
“Is that also why you wanted to work for a woman?”
She nodded. “I’ve had a couple of dads get handsy. It’s awkward.”
“I assure you I would never—”
She shook her head. “I know. You don’t have to say anything.”
She knew? How? And what did that mean? Had he become so incredibly sexless that...that... Dear God, he couldn’t even formulate the question, let alone answer it.
She laughed. “You look confused. What I meant is you seem to be an honorable person. I appreciate that.”
“Good,” he said, not sure if it was good or not. Time to change the subject. “About your hours. Are they working for you?”
“They’re perfect.”
She was supposed to be available from 6:30 a.m. until 9:00 p.m. with the middle of the day off, five days a week. She also owed him every other Saturday and cooked dinner four nights a week.
“I’m sorry you had to work Sunday when I was on my business trip.”
“Not a problem. You and Connor were gone the previous weekend, so I had that Saturday. Declan, I’m not keeping track of every single minute. If Connor gets up early or stays up late, that’s okay. A lot of my job is being flexible.”
“Thank you.”
He confirmed she knew where all the local stores were, then pulled a credit card out of his desk drawer.
“I ordered this for you,” he said. “It will be easier than giving me receipts and having me reimburse you.” He smiled. “Don’t go to Tahiti on it.”
“Oh darn. And Connor and I were talking about taking a road trip just yesterday.” She took the card. “He seems to be outgrowing some of his pants and his athletic shoes are looking really bad. Do you want me to take him shopping or is that something you prefer to do?”
“You can do it. For the next couple of weeks, I’m going to be knee-deep in the preconstruction planning for the hotel. Once that calms down, I’ll have more time.”
“Okay. Then I’ll get what he needs right now and you can handle the rest. Anything else?”
His gaze moved from her mouth to her—He swore silently, telling himself being a jerk wasn’t allowed. He had to get a grip or, at the very least, get laid. Assuming he remembered how all that happened. He assumed it was like riding a bike—once he and the lady in question were naked, he would know what to do.
“Declan?”
He blinked. “Ah, that will be all.”
She
