haven’t got my bag,’ Harriet said. ‘Drew should be bringing it later today. I can write a cheque for the bond then.’
‘No worries.’ Ciro gave her a surprised look. ‘I’m starting to sound like an Aussie!’
‘No, Ciro, you’re not.’ Harriet grinned, and her smile stayed as he walked away from her bedside and stopped to talk with Alyssa, stayed as she lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, and stayed despite the fact that this should be the worst day of her life.
There was absolutely no chance of dying quietly on EHU, no chance to lie in bed and lick her wounds. Instead, after her obs had been checked yet again and her drip was taken down and a post-op wash given, Harriet was walked the length of the unit by an eager, chirpy physio. She gingerly put one foot in front of the other and held onto her wound as the blessed woman reminded her incessantly to take deep breaths and to remember to wiggle her toes while in bed. Harriet caught Alyssa’s eye as she walked past. Declining the cheery suggestion to ‘pop back into bed’, Harriet chose instead to perch on Alyssa’s just as lunch was being served.
‘What happened to you?’ Alyssa asked, putting down the magazine Drew had signed. ‘I thought it was you when they wheeled you back from Theatre, but I couldn’t be sure. I mean, you never really imagine the nurses getting sick.’
‘I had my appendix out.’ Harriet smiled, but it changed midway as she winced slightly as she sat on the bed. ‘I’ll be fine in a couple of days. How are you doing?’
‘They’re admitting me to a medical ward this afternoon.’ Alyssa screwed up her nose. ‘They’ve put this horrible tube down my nose into my stomach and if I don’t eat my meals they’re going to feed me some disgusting supplement. I want to pull it out.’
‘It’s just a short-term thing,’ Harriet said softly, pleasantly surprised that Alyssa had even agreed to it.
‘That’s what Dr Delgato said.’ Alyssa sniffed, leaning back on the mountain of pillows supporting her tiny frame. ‘I wish it was him looking after me, not the stupid old fuddy-duddy that came and saw me this morning. He told me off for not eating my breakfast, he said that if I wanted to get better then I had to start eating, but it’s just so hard.’
‘I know,’ Harriet sympathised, wincing at the doctor’s insensitivity, knowing that for Alyssa it just wasn’t that simple.
‘Dr Delgato said that once I’m a bit stronger they’re going to admit me to the adolescent unit.’ Harriet heard the tremor of fear in the young girl’s voice, but any chance of comforting her was snatched away when a nurse deposited a large meal tray on her table.
‘Lunch, Alyssa,’ the nurse said firmly, removing the lid from the tray and pouring out a large glass of milk. ‘I want to see that all gone by the time I get back.’
And she meant well, Harriet didn’t doubt it, but it was just way, way too soon to even be talking to Alyssa like that. Seeing the sparkle of tears in the young girl’s eyes, Harriet watched as Alyssa pushed the peas around her plate, dug her fork into the mashed potato, stabbed at the fish dripping in butter sauce, not once lifting the fork to her mouth. ‘He said he’d come and see me on the adolescent unit to see how I was doing.’
‘Who?’
‘Dr Delgato,’ Alyssa said, and Harriet was hard pushed to keep the frown from her face. It was very easy to make promises, to tell a teary, scared patient when you were trying to placate them that you would be there for them, but it was another thing to see them through. In this case the damage that could be done if Ciro didn’t follow through could be very detrimental—trust was a very important factor with this type of patient. ‘He said that he’d come and see how I was getting on, that I just had to grin and bear it while I was on the medical ward, and that once they transferred me to the adolescent unit it would be better, that I’d be among people who understood. I know that I’m going to be here for ages. The doctor on this morning told me to forget about the concert.’
‘You’re not well enough to dance at the moment.’
‘I know,’ Alyssa admitted. ‘It’s not just the concert, though. If I’d danced well there was a good chance I’d have been given a scholarship…’ Her tiny voice wobbled. Her eyes screwed closed, Alyssa went on bravely, ‘Mum’s going to be so disappointed.’
There was nothing Harriet could say without crossing the line. In a single sentence Alyssa had summed up the complexity of her problems, the pressures, real or imagined, that had brought her to this point, the complex dynamics that fed this insidious disease. And there was so much Harriet wanted to say, so much she wanted to do. She wanted to delve deeper, to help unravel the complex puzzle, to untangle the knots that clouded Alyssa’s fragile mind, but a half-hour gossip on the edge of her bed wouldn’t suffice. Alyssa didn’t need an emergency nurse with empathy, she needed skilled specialist care, and Harriet knew that she must not complicate matters, must not, no matter how much she might want to, say anything that might jeopardise Alyssa’s treatment.
Knew that she wasn’t qualified to help.
‘Oh, come on, Alyssa.’ The nurse was back, frowning down at the plate. ‘You haven’t even tried. You know what this means, don’t you?’
And Harriet had to bite her tongue, knew it wasn’t her place to argue, so instead she took the tiny frail hand in hers as the plate was finally removed, stroked the translucent skin as the nurse set up the kangaroo pump, attaching a large bag of supplement to Alyssa’s NG tube and setting the dose before walking away. Harriet watched as with every whir of the motor a tear slid down Alyssa’s fragile cheeks, knowing, if not understanding, the torture Alyssa felt was being inflicted on her.
‘Dr Delgato’s right,’ Harriet said finally, gently squeezing Alyssa’s hand. ‘Once you’re moved to the adolescent unit you’ll be in the right place, you’ll be getting the help you need. Things will sort themselves out.’
‘Will they?’
Terrified eyes held Harriet’s and even if she wasn’t entirely qualified to answer, surely common sense could prevail.
‘With a bit of give and take,’ she responded finally. ‘From both sides.’
‘HOPEFULLY this is adequate.’
Turning the key in the door, Ciro pushed it open and stood aside as Harriet gingerly stepped inside her new home.
Ciro had duly picked her up from the surgical ward as arranged when his shift had ended. Harriet had rolled her eyes at the raised eyebrows from more than a few of her colleagues as Ciro had waited patiently for her to be given her discharge letter and say goodbye to the nurses that had treated her.
Drew had barely tried and had spectacularly failed yet again. He had packed a pair of white linen shorts Harriet had been hoping to slim into and a lilac halter neck that was definitely meant for days when one was feeling good about themselves, as opposed to the day you were being discharged from hospital, not to mention the trendy espadrilles that needed slender legs—and those were the wearable bits! A fluorescent pink bikini and a pair of jeans more suited to Alyssa were a couple of other choice items Drew had thoughtlessly tossed in, but at least finally she had her handbag and purse
